It took me 20 years to realize that I was not obese because I had a weight problem. I was obese because I had a MATH problem. It was my fault because my weight was my CHOICE, whether I accepted it or not. And I could only change it once I OWNED it.
That said, I think society is partly to blame. Yes...for a lot of the reasons mentioned, but also for creating this idea of "normal."
I remember reading "recommended daily calorie" charts and that did a lot of psychological damage to me. It was not until I was 45 years old and had managed to lose almost 130 lbs, that I had a EUREKA moment.
There is no such thing as a normal metabolism, a fast metabolism or a slow metabolism. There is only YOUR metabolism and it is NORMAL for YOU. Heck...even "normal" for you changes with activity levels, stress, types of food you eat etc. And the ONLY way I was able to figure out what that magic number was for me, was to RELIGIOUSLY and HONESTLY
Measure and track everything I ate, my exercise, weigh myself daily and keep in mind where I was in my monthly cycle. Eventually I found patterns. Like, I realized I get much hungrier the week before my period. I also retain water...no not 10 lbs like I used to tell myself....but 1-3 lbs.
In the end...I had to accept responsibility. Now I am just MAD at myself for the damage I did to my body. If I had lost the weight 15 years ago, I would not have saggy skin and look so OLD and wrinkled.
Now I have a different body image problem.