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Old 04-20-2013, 02:14 PM   #198
veggiedaze
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 262

S/C/G: 113/117/110-120

Height: 5'5"

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surfergirl - yes, I also sometimes use food to avoid doing something I don't want to, but it's usually a binge not a big snack. Bingeing is pretty much a way to "check out" of life for awhile with me.

I am still doing well and read the overfed head which I really enjoyed. One thing disturbing happened though. I decided to indulge in a glass of wine last night after a really good and non restrictive dinner, and suddenly I was getting ideas that maybe it would be "fun" to binge. There was no specific food I wanted, I just thought bingeing would be a fun activity. Since I've started this non dieting just over 3 weeks ago, I have only had wine about 3 times, and each time I get these thoughts. Good thing it was late and I was not going to drive anywhere after having alcohol in my system, but I really felt at risk of bingeing if I had had the opportunity. On a lot of bulimia recovery websites, it is suggested people do not drink while recovering because it lowers their inhibitions and they are more likely to be compulsive. I feel torn because I really do love wine sometimes. It is a real treat. But the thoughts are scary. Having bingeing thoughts to me are just as bad as bingeing itself. It's hard to understand because my mind has felt so free lately and not food obsessed knowing there is nothing I can't have if I want it. So all of a sudden wanting to binge and on nothing in particular was really troubling. I think this is where the whole idea of "habbit" comes in where the brain pathway is still there. I am thinking it might be better to give up alcohol until I feel more solid and stable in recovery and maybe just drink at a social event where there are other people around. what do you all think? And anyone else notice this with alcohol?
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