[Maggie9190]

Hello everyone:

I need help and support SO much right now.

I have struggled with my weight since I was in my 30s and started binging due to stress from working for a nutjob boss. Over the next 15 years I packed on 70 lbs, found out my ex had been having an affair with a co-worker for the last 11 years (found this out in 2009), we split up then I lost 60 lbs in 5 months from the sheer grief of finding out. The only up side to this was I looked better than I had for many years.

I met a lovely man and we are doing great - but I have packed on 40 of the 60 (my body did not like losing weight that quickly and revolted). I am also a terrible emotional eater and am in a horrible cycle of binging and dieting. I just want to stop the binging!!

Now that I am 50 I am finding it very difficult to lose weight so that doesn't help. I would be happy with just losing 1-2 lbs a month!! At least that would be going in the right direction.

I have read so many books, gone to therapists, talked til I'm blue in the face - nothing has helped me stop the emotional binging/overeating (same thing in my opionion, at least for me).

Any help or suggestions would be appreciated.

Maggie

[akrosey49]

Hi Maggie,im rosey and post in the golden girls 50+ sry you are having a bad time. my best advice is dont bring it home from the store,keep only things that are on your food plan,journal everything you eat even the junk so you can see what triggers your binge. and steer clear of those items. if you like to craft keep your hands busy,i crochet for therapy,also into other crafts but when im stressed i make dish clothes another helpful thing is dont eat after a certain time in the evenings. my cut off is 8pm. hope my suggestions are helpful, rosey

[Maggie9190]

Hello Rosey - nice to meet you and thank you for your support and helpful suggestions. I do all of those things but I find once or twice a week I fall off the wagon. I feel like I'm addicted to junk food and I probably need to treat junk food as an addiction and abstain completely from it. I don't seem to be able to eat a balanced diet, including sweets. It feels like I'm an alcholic - that kind of addiction.

Maggie

[wannaskipandlaugh]

Hello Maggie...

I too am in my 50's and find losing weight at this age ALOT harder. I know that that junk food calls your name and the taste buds water just thinking about them. Maybe before you "give in", try drinking something or eating something healthy. That might help you get past the cravings... but if it doesn't, at lease your tummy is alittle fuller and you probably won't eat as much of the "junk" food that you would have. Chocolate calls my name and my heart constantly and I have an occasional piece of Dark Xo*** chocolate but I have created a choc treat (Cocoa powder, cream cheese and SPlenda) that I have a tablespoon of that takes the craving away and its only 1 carb (I am on Atkins).. So maybe if the drinking and eating a healthy thing before you give into the Junk thing you could create another food that has the same tastes as the junk thing for replacement. Just a thought.

We are all learning what we need to do to keep us happy and help the cravings be less strong so that we can get past them.

Just believe in you!

[Maggie9190]

Hello Wanna:

Your words are very true. I like the idea of creating another food that would not cause so much damage and would be helpful. I really feel like I need to treat junk food like alcholics treat alchol!! Junkfoodaholic - that's me - and it is a serious condition that causes so much pain.

Maggie

[the shiv]

I agree with all these suggestions about how to handle the actual food

Personally, I found the "off switch" for bingeing once I truly got my head round the fact that it's only food. I have to be disdainful around former trigger foods now to continue to remember that this bunch of molecules does not deserve to have the power over me that I was giving it. I remember growing up, my dad romanticised food. Badly. Like "Ooooooh a caaaaaake!! It's THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD!!!"

Seriously. It's not. It's just food. I only got to this point after having counselling for completely unrelated-to-food depression, and letting other PEOPLE have power over me they shouldn't have had. I guess trigger foods are like an unruly toddler or a drunk guy in a bar. They can scream and shout at you all they like, but YOU are the one with the final say. If there's something in life you enjoy more than food, use that instead to get the same pleasurable feelings hormonally that you do from food. Crowd it out. Put it in its proper place.

And: it's not all willpower. The usual "binge foods" create a hormonal chain reaction in your body and your brain, alleviating stress. It's nowhere near as straightforward as a lack of willpower. Willpower is quite overrated in weight loss. Ok, you might go to the gym when you don't feel like it, but you get a reward. Find out what reward you're looking for through food, and find other ways to obtain it. It can be as simple as if you're down, watch a silly film instead. Laughter stimulates some of the same "happy hormones" as binge foods. I know it's SO much easier said than done... but it's worth a try.

And my ultimate piece of advice as a recovered binge eater? There is one thing you need to completely remove from your diet, and it is GUILT. You can help to break the cycle right there, with time and practice. Guilt, shame, disgust, etc... ALL bad for you. These feelings put you in an inferior position, which puts food in the superior position by default. So next time you binge, own it. Try it. Admit that you're feeling (fill in the blank) and be clear with yourself that you're taking advantage of the hormonal reactions caused by this food. Give yourself the power back! Not as an excuse to keep bingeing, but as a reason to say, it's done, I did it, I had my reasons, case closed, move on. Repeat as necessary. Guilt and shame just make the feelings drag on, keeping you down. Trust yourself that one day you will be able to say "No! I don't actually want that ice cream right now - I'll save it for when I really DO want it", and show it who's boss.

Sorry for the dissertation... But this is something I've struggled to get a hold on for so long that I wanted to try to explain it properly. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm minimising the issue, I know how hard it is, I just hope what I had in my head came through in the words (hence the sheer volume of them).

*hugs*

[Biggsbabydoll]

Very well said the shiv...thanks!

[mrslosingit]

I cantotally relate to you.I was also in the 50's thread but feel I should be here dealing with food addiction and not dieting.I subscribed to the thread too.My compulsive eating also goes back as far as you too.My weight yo-yo's too.I hate living like this but stuggle with trying to eat healthier.Does anyone here have facebook.I have a facebook and need to start making friends with others also stuggling with their weight.If you want me to friend you let me know your profile.

[Lolo70]

I had strong cravings for carbs mainly when under stress or due to PMS. I still have that when stress is high, but I found that moving to a low carb diet eliminated most of it. Also, low carb helps with weight loss even when you are older. It works around those pesky hormones. To eliminate mindless eating, I now only keep healthy food or diet food at home. Finally, I found that exercise (I do Jillian Michaels) also provides some of the hormonal stimulus that you otherwise try to get from food. And in case stress takes over your life, maybe try to keep the calorie count down, but eat what your body wants. I am just going through one of those phases and I literally went on an M&M diet last week. 5 days of it. Lived off those small packages (40 cal each). I was sick of chocolate before I reached the 1000 cals/day. So, I had the chocolate fix against stress, but did not gain any weight.