I always fear the unpredictable snap and binge. I feel like I've "beat" binge/restrict cycles but sometimes, specifically around TOM, it's almost like I'm dangling by a thread over that horrible place, about to drop into a pit full of vipers.
Of late I want to drop some body fat as summer and nudity season are coming up, which = eating at a deficit. I have started drastically cutting my lunch portions so that I can just gorge myself after work. We'll see how this goes. I want to do everything in my power to never lose control again. My weight will do what it wants but I don't want to feel like I'm at the mercy of something as dumb as junk food.