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Old 04-15-2013, 06:45 AM   #133
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Originally Posted by veggiedaze View Post

However, I think in my desperation at wanting "non dieting" to be the answer, I was hoping bingefree's and southernmaven's approach was the answer because it just seemed the easiest, but I know it is not the answer for me.

veggiedaze - After reading your post, I agree with this assessment. We are coming from two different places entirely.

My restriction and obsession (I suppose I'll reveal it now because I know people must be wondering how on earth I have an eating disorder when I am not conerned with weight) is that I am completely obsessed with "the perfect way of eating" or the "perfect diet with perfect nutrition". Where some people classify foods as good or bad based on their effect on weight, I classify food as good or bad based on their nutritional profile. My obsession with counting calories and entering it into a food log is not just about calories, I am much more obsessed with meeting all my "recommended daily intake" of vitamins and minerals. And where some people are only concerned with not going over a certain number of calories, I am equally concerned with being under. both situations are extremely stressful and can result in a binge if I don't meet that "perfect, optimal number for Perfect health". This is how my mind works.

I'm hearing what you're saying. I don't believe intuitive eating is your answer either. What you're describing is definitely an eating disorder, and you are wise to recognize it for what it is. I have a lot of sympathy for you in your struggle, veggiedaze.

So do you see how I am very restrictive, but not in the same way as someone who is obsessed with their weight is? Just like someone on a weightloss plan, I feel alot of guilt when I diverge from things, and the guilt and anxiety cause me to binge on the very things I try so hard not to have.

Yes, I understand exactly what you're saying. The guilt, restriction and obsession is the same for both, but the focus is not. Yours is nutrition; mine was lbs gained or lost. Completely different.

Southernmaven - I am so glad you shared your experience and am very happy intuitive eating is working so nicely for you. After trying the intuitive eating thing, I think it is a nice alternative to calorie counting, but only works for healthy foods with me. This absolutely does not and I doubt will ever work on processed junk foods for me. This is probably an individual thing, but certain foods are just so pleasurable, hunger doesn't matter. I still want them. Also southernmaven, I should point out you've never had an eating disorder so I think it's very hard to understand for someone who has never experiened this. Overeating doesn't even come close to bingeing. I'm not saying you are not saying good things, but it's just not from someone who has dealt with the same problem.

And I agree (with the bolded statement). When I say that I've had "disordered eating" in my lifetime I'm generally speaking of the obsessive calorie counting along with my last supper eating when I would blow my calorie count for the day and overeat to make up for the FUTURE restriction I was going to place on myself. But binging as described by many here at 3FC I can't say I ever really experienced. I can eat a moderate amount of processed foods and then stop. And at the risk of having rotten tomatoes thrown at me here, I don't even particularly like donuts. Well, that's not really true...a better way of saying it is that I don't have a strong attraction to donuts. (I like that concept, freelance!) My YMCA is directly across from my grocery store and there's a Dunkin' Donuts on the corner. The only time I ever even go in there is if I have my car in the Goodyear shop adjacent to it and I'll get a cup of coffee and probably a donut if I haven't had breakfast. That was even before I started practicing IE. I can take them or leave them.

So finally I will say I am still doing well. I started my work week again which is always challenging. There were apple danishes in the lunchroom today. I asked myself did I want them. I said no because they looked old and stale. But after I said no I still felt so much anxiety. I realized it wasn't about whether or not the danishes looked good, it was about feeling deprived no matter what it was. So I took one and ate it. Could I have eaten the whole container? yes. Did I? no. I did what krampus did with the girl guide cookies. If I had used intuitive eating I would have been screwed. I said I could have another one tomorrow or whenever if I wanted. This seemed to satisfy me.

Actually, veggiedaze, I use this (bolded) technique all the time in IE. The knowledge that now I can have any food at any time removes the need to overindulge in it in anticipation of future restriction. It's really a central part of intuitive eating and helps me a lot if I'm tempted to eat something just because I want to enjoy the taste of it and not because I'm hungry. For example, yesterday I ate two meals - breakfast at 10:30 am and supper at 5:30 pm. Two solid meals, with absolutely nothing in between. About two hours after supper I had what I now absolutely know is mouth hunger. No way was I physically hungry. Sometimes I have an urge for just a little something to eat (sometimes sweet, sometimes crunchy) about that length of time after a meal. Yesterday it was sweet. I had a variety of things from which to choose, both nutritious and not-so-nutritious. In the past I'd have gotten something to eat and plopped in front of the TV to eat it. Totally and completely mindless eating. IE has completely stopped this behavior. Last night I would have liked a few yogurt covered pretzels. But I was not hungry. So what I said to myself last night was "you can have some tomorrow if you want them."

*also, my preoccupation with food is lessening.

That is great to hear! And I, for one, am very interested in hearing of your progress. You started a wonderful thread that I want to see continue. Please do keep us updated!

Last edited by SouthernMaven; 04-15-2013 at 06:50 AM.
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