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Old 04-14-2013, 07:43 AM   #123
Wannabeskinny
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New York, NY
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Originally Posted by JenMusic View Post
All that to say, how does a person with that background develop a normal relationship with food? I was clearly out of touch with my hunger/fullness signals long before I started dieting, and any kind of change in my eating habits would have felt like "restriction."

...

Please know that I don't ask to be snarky - I ask because I wonder how I could have done it differently, and how we can help those around us in the same boat, both here in 3FC and in real life.
I don't think you're being snarky at all. I question methods of non dieting myself because I perceive it to mean that we have to snap our fingers and become a different person. We all know people who are naturally thin/fit, who don't worry about food or calories, who intrinsically eat the right amount of food at the right time and don't get led around by their cravings. I want to be like those people, I want to "not diet too" we want to be "naturally thin" but the truth is I am not. I've tried pretending to be like them hoping that the fake-it-till-you-make-it-method works. But I can't do it.

Disordered eating is a real concept, not something you can just wish away. I strive to reach the happy balance between binging and restrictive dieting but like you say, even one little tiny change feels restrictive! Even if I decide that instead of eating a whole bag of cheetos I'll have a large bowl instead even that feels like a noose, like I'm policing myself. And then that restrictive behavior leads to binging. I love the concept of not dieting but I love the concept of losing weight more. Those 2 will never reconcile in my life, for others yes, for me I can't imagine it.
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"Binging is a descent into a world where every restriction... is cut loose. At its core is a feeling of deprivation.. a feeling you can never get enough. Binges do not signify a lack of willpower or inability to care for yourself. On the contrary, binges are a urgent attempt to care for yourself when you feel uncared for. They are the voice of survival. Binges are the mark of the self that says, 'I am tired of feeling deprived, of being told I am wrong, that I am bad." - Geneen Roth
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