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Old 04-14-2013, 08:43 AM   #123
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Originally Posted by JenMusic View Post
All that to say, how does a person with that background develop a normal relationship with food? I was clearly out of touch with my hunger/fullness signals long before I started dieting, and any kind of change in my eating habits would have felt like "restriction."


Please know that I don't ask to be snarky - I ask because I wonder how I could have done it differently, and how we can help those around us in the same boat, both here in 3FC and in real life.
I don't think you're being snarky at all. I question methods of non dieting myself because I perceive it to mean that we have to snap our fingers and become a different person. We all know people who are naturally thin/fit, who don't worry about food or calories, who intrinsically eat the right amount of food at the right time and don't get led around by their cravings. I want to be like those people, I want to "not diet too" we want to be "naturally thin" but the truth is I am not. I've tried pretending to be like them hoping that the fake-it-till-you-make-it-method works. But I can't do it.

Disordered eating is a real concept, not something you can just wish away. I strive to reach the happy balance between binging and restrictive dieting but like you say, even one little tiny change feels restrictive! Even if I decide that instead of eating a whole bag of cheetos I'll have a large bowl instead even that feels like a noose, like I'm policing myself. And then that restrictive behavior leads to binging. I love the concept of not dieting but I love the concept of losing weight more. Those 2 will never reconcile in my life, for others yes, for me I can't imagine it.

“If you try to lose weight by shaming, depriving and fearing yourself, you will end up shamed, deprived, and afraid.” Geneen Roth
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