Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New York, NY
Originally Posted by Song of Surly
Yes, I have read The End of Overeating. After that, the subject has become a bit of a hobby to read up on, but I'm not nearly as well-versed as some of the other posters on this website. I often feel like a lab rat as well, but I don't live a completely whole foods diet. I still eat an Oreo every now and again, but I have backed off considerably from processed foods. It's really mostly out of anger and disgust. It's not necessarily that I blame these companies for making me fat (not by a long shot), but I get really pissed at the idea that I am being manipulated. I realize that all advertising is manipulation, and I understand the desire to want to get your customers "hooked" and create food the public enjoys, but it frustrates me that they know what has started innocently as a means to get more business has actually become fairly detrimental to the Western diet. I can handle preservatives and genetic modification, mostly because I realize that there are a lot of people to feed in this world, but this other stuff is hard for me to swallow. No pun intended.
I ordered a grilled chicken salad from McD's the other day (a hectic day), and their chicken was so moist that it actually grossed me out. The rest of the salad was quite fresh and nice, but I could tell that chicken was some weird stuff. I mean, it was slimy. I think they went a little too far with the moist engineering on that one.
And "fixed" was really a poor choice of wording. I guess I should have used "improved." My labs show that my imbalance from PCOS has improved a great deal since I was in high school. I'm not perfect, but much better. I went on birth control, metformin for some time, (I am getting an A1C in May to see if I need to go back on it or stay off), and I've lost a good deal of weight. I went for a spell not taking birth control to see if I could have my own period since I've lost some weight from my all-time high as a teenager, and I went several months with an on-time period. The out of control hormones contributed to some pretty out of control emotions and real self-esteem issues that I stuffed with food. I think that's some of the reason why I have a pretty innate distrust of my body signals and my mind. I know that it has been incorrect and has lied to itself before. Any time now that I feel like I am going through some existential crisis or some intense feeling about something, I always have to back off and say, "Now, is this real, or are my hormones messing with my brain?" Most of the time, I've found, I don't have a good reason to feel what I feel. I've kind of had to go through the same process with food when it comes to intense cravings.
And there's my novel. Haha, sorry. I didn't really want to give my life story, but I guess there it is.
Thank you for your response. I'm in an all out war with foods right now. Partly because I'm angry that I have food-dependency, food addictions, disordered eating, and my will power fights against me. That's a lot of self hatred right there and so I found a bit of relief when I realized that I CAN blame the food industry, not entirely but it was important that I came to an understanding that these foods are engineered in a way to make someone like me eat more of them. No, nobody held a gun to my head and made me buy cheetos, I'm not a food to think that this is not my fault. But carrying the burden of failure is too heavy sometimes when things are stacked up against you. I'm actually extremely angry about GMO's, preservative-loaded crap foods, and other political decisions that work against the general public health. I hate seedless tomatoes, and the weeding out of so many breeds of beautiful fruits and vegetables all so we can engineer one kind of super tomato and one kind of super seed that can withstand any and every kind of pesticides so that some major megaconglamorate can reap the most profits for their profits. It's scary.
Thanks for clearing up the hormones bit, I thought you meant something else.
"Binging is a descent into a world where every restriction... is cut loose. At its core is a feeling of deprivation.. a feeling you can never get enough. Binges do not signify a lack of willpower or inability to care for yourself. On the contrary, binges are a urgent attempt to care for yourself when you feel uncared for. They are the voice of survival. Binges are the mark of the self that says, 'I am tired of feeling deprived, of being told I am wrong, that I am bad." - Geneen Roth