lin43 - thanks for chiming in. I have also found this about IE being a diet in disguise. I have read some things about it but I am finding it is better to not read about it and just NOT DIET. I think alot of people who are bingers as a result of obsessive dieting will also look to IE to explain how exactly to do this and measure your fullness. Not dieting means not measuring anything. So I have pretty much just eaten what I want at the time. And it's quite different each time. Sometimes I want to be quite full, but sometimes I don't want to be full at all, I just want the hunger to be gone. Like when I'm at work it is just as miserable for me to be really full as it is to be extremely hungry. I am not thinking too much about the definition of how we are supposed to feel after a meal. I am eating to feel exactly how I want to feel at the time. Sometimes it's more and sometimes less.
Obviously I have not done this long enough to know if it is the answer or not and I still have to get over some hang ups about particular foods. But it's been about a week now of no binging. And yes I've gone much longer than that by restricting and being obsessive, but as of late I was having a really hard time making it a week so it feels really good now and I'm going to continue for now to not count calories, not track my food, not weigh myself etc. I have to admit not weighing myself doesn't seem to make much of a difference for me. Most of my disordered eating days I did not weigh myself much. It's only in the last year I decided to do a daily weighing for the purpose of graphing it because I was obsessed with numbers and it was just another way to track. But quite honestly the scale number started to not mean anything to me as I could see it could fluctuate 3 pounds in a day and then back again the other day depending on the time of the month and how much salt and or wine I ate etc. In some ways I had wished I weighed more frequently when I was younger so I would not freak when I weighed in after a couple of months and seen a 3 pound increase when in fact if i'd weighed in again the next day it probably would have been gone. But for now I am not weighing simply to remove all the obsessive activities I do. I figure it cannot hurt.
And bingefree2013 for me also I felt the crappiest with the lowest self esteem at my lowest weight which was around 100 pounds 2 years ago following a break up. Due to the break up I didn't binge for a few months and my appetite was completely gone. I was also exercising like crazy as a way to cope. And at that time I had the worst body image ever and was more critical than ever about my body and really just wanted to die. Then when I got over the break up and my appetite returned so did my binging and I regained the 15ish pounds extremely quickly. I try to forget about that time in my life. It was the worst.