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Old 04-03-2013, 02:32 PM   #44
veggiedaze
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 262

S/C/G: 113/117/110-120

Height: 5'5"

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It's okay surfergirl. I completely get where you are coming from. It's such a hard thing. It's the fear of being overweight or wanting too desperately to lose weight that keeps people from giving up the control. It's hard to let go of those fears even if we want to. I want to tell myself it's okay to let myself eat 12 cookies at a time if i really want to but deep down it's just not okay and i know right now i am lying to myself when i say I can. It keeps the fear in me. In the same way is it's not easy for you to say to yourself it's okay to be 165 because you know deep down it is not okay. These are the hurdles to get over for someone that wants to not diet. But maybe what it will take for you is to get down to 135 through rigorous dieting and realize you will not be suddenly happy. People always think they will get to their "goal weight" and suddenly they will be so happy about it they will not have disordered eating. But it's even worse because suddenly they realize the number doesn't solve anything. And suddenly they no longer even have a goal to look forward to. They just have the misery of the eating disorder. There is no instant gratification of seeing the scale go down, just the constant fear of hoping it doesn't go up.
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