I agree completely with krampus! When I first started losing weight, I just slowly started transitioning to healthier foods, not cutting out any foods completely. I am still taking that approach although I've cut back on sweets and bread much more than when I began.
I totally understand your abnormal relationship with food and your fears. Personally, though, I couldn't be successful if I completely eliminated sugar or bread or anything. Knowing that eating chocolate is OK in moderation is what gets me through other temptations and knowing that I will have chocolate in the near future is what keeps me from eating 5 lbs of it when I do have some.
Although this may sound crazy, I eat a mini 3 muskateers bar (about 25 calories) every day. It's my small treat and I never feel deprived. A similar approach may work for you to start to learn moderation. For me, it has been easier to gain that control on sweets because I know that there will always be more chocolate tomorrow.