OH SWEETIE ~ there are many people who can understand your disappointment -- you tried so many things; you worked so hard; you risked so much; you went through so much, only to be discouraged by re-gain. Hey, I have been through that heartbreak too, but I kept going and researching to find out what was missed.
Some are in therapy too because in their case they did not heal emotional wounds. Even people with physically successful bypass/lap gain weight because we are fat due to emotional wounds not simply eating too much. Even people I met who had the surgery and stay slim are addicted in another way, obsessing about food constantly. Again the addiction was never dealt with.
I agree with PEAR about this; and that if your therapist is unable to help you after such a long time, it's a bad fit; and it's time to look for a better one. This site is a great place for added support too, becuz we have been through the same experiences and feelings.
Don't ever wish that you didn't make it -- we are grateful for life and that you are here with us; it was your destiny to find us. Let us help you. I started a thread in the Faith Forum that may help you called, "EMOTIONAL EATING: HOW TO HEAL". Doesn't matter your beliefs -- the point of it is understanding just how much our emotions contribute to our over-eating issues, and what we can do about them. EDIT2ADD: be sure to read the whole thread as there are more posts with lots of practical solutions as it goes along. Here's a link to the thread ... http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/fait...-how-heal.html
I am convinced it is the most important thing that contributed to my weight issues, yet it is the one that is most often missed or not dealt with in therapy sessions. It's like learning to ride a bike or play the piano; learning how to manage our emotions without food, takes time and practice to perfect. Life is always throwing stresses our way -- so we have to develop new strategies to deal with them.
Emotional hurts and wounds need healing; and that takes understanding and time too, but you can find your way. Many of us have. Are we perfect? Not by any means, and when I'm really stressed, I still slip a bit -- BUT I am way better than I was before, for sure (90% isn't so bad).
Keep coming back here for support; that is so very important too!