Problem hubby has - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

Calisto · 03-03-2013, 12:37 PM

So my husband has hit his goal and is on Phase 4 now. His problem? The women at work. They get on his case so much about how much he has lost and that he is TOO skinny.

This is his boss and co workers that he has meetings with a lot which is when they bring it up (he has a very laid back place of business). Anyway I finally told him yesterday when they go on and on again about he was NOT overweight to begin with and didn't need to lose weight to be honest with them.

I told him even MY friends always told me he didn't need to lose weight. I said tell them, listen, I am a 5'10" man who was over 210 lb. I was overweight, out of breath and unhappy. I said maybe telling them how much he weighed and that he is within normal range now will open their eyes. He has no problem doing this and thinks it will help. I think they think he is like 130 lbs lol... and he isn't losing anymore, he is staying where he should. Do I think he is skinny, well sure I have always been use to him around 170 lb and he is almost 20 lb less than that, but if he is happy (and healthy), I am happy.

Anyway, he wasn't sure how to handle it because it's been driving him crazy for over a month (before he even lost it all) and is hoping my suggestion helps. I told him sometimes honesty is the best way to make people realize the truth.

I know some may say it's no one's business what you weighed, why you are doing it but these people are like his family. He has been there over 11 years and like I said it's a smaller company. I know they are just worried about him. But what is funny is his boss is a HUGE fitness buff, watches what she eats and is super skinny.... I said maybe she is afraid you will look better than her? LOL

Spiritman · 03-03-2013, 12:45 PM

He should tell them all that he is now ready to audition for the porn industry. That might shut 'em up.

seagirl · 03-03-2013, 12:45 PM

"Can you please stop making comments about my weight, it's not something I want to discuss and it's making me uncomfortable."

Repeat as necessary. Explaining what he used to weigh and now weighs just opens it up to more discussion and comments and food police keeping an eye on what he's eating/not eating.

tam67green · 03-03-2013, 12:47 PM

First of all, congrats to hubby! And good for him for doing well with maintenance. As much as I am looking forward to going on maintenance eventually, I know it will be a challenge!
I think that as a group, Americans have a distorted perception of what is a healthy weight and BMI. We are a super sized nation and the way we regard food and nutrition is all topsy turvy. Maybe he should show them some information about what is considered a normal weight and BMI--maybe it will shock some of them who are in denial about how unhealthy they are (like I was!)
I agree with him being honest with them. Sounds like their hearts are in the right place, but they may be misinformed.

tam67green · 03-03-2013, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spiritman

He should tell them all that he is now ready to audition for the porn industry. That might shut 'em up.

Calisto · 03-03-2013, 01:16 PM

Quote:

He should tell them all that he is now ready to audition for the porn industry. That might shut 'em up.

OMG, they would die!

Thing is he has lost a bunch of weight before, they have seen him lose it before but I think it's because they don't understand this plan. He told them his BMI is fine, which they threw a fit about because they hate BMI (I agree I hate it too) because it doesn't account for muscle etc... I told him to show off his arms and say "What Muscle I have none yet!" lol

Calisto · 03-03-2013, 01:19 PM

Quote:

. Explaining what he used to weigh and now weighs just opens it up to more discussion and comments and food police keeping an eye on what he's eating/not eating.

I don't think this will be an issue. They don't comment on what he eats or doesn't eat (except to say he has a lot of willpower when they have cupcakes etc) but just how he looks.

Granted he went from a size 40 pant to a 30 in 3.5 months. It's a big change fast. Last time he went from a 36 to a 32 in 4 months.

He has been more annoyed by it than uncomfortable, doesn't help they are older than him, I think he feels like it's his mom saying it lol

Nolawhodatchick · 03-03-2013, 02:38 PM

I bet if they had met him as a man who was 5'10" and weighed 155, they wouldn't have thought and said he was "too skinny." But they didn't. They're used to seeing him one way, and he doesn't look that way any more. Especially with men, I think women are more "generous" about thinking a few extra lbs (over the BMI/medical weight charts) are perfectly ok and healthy. I think when he is phased off, doing maintenance, and it isn't obvious to them that he is dieting like it has been for several months, they will forget about it and leave him alone. The way he looks now will become the new "norm" for how they "think" he should look. This too shall pass!

BeccaGrim · 03-03-2013, 03:05 PM

They'll get used to it. I find a way to change the subject.

Calisto · 03-03-2013, 03:08 PM

You are right Nolawhodatchick!

Fishette · 03-03-2013, 03:43 PM

Does his company have an HR department? He should talk to his boss privately and then to HR about how she and his coworkers are making him uncomfortable at work. No one should have to feel uncomfortable at work - that doesn't make for a productive employee or a healthy work environment. Every company I have worked as a manager has put me through annual harassment training, and that supervisor is way over the line here and they should know it. The supervisor should be the one to stop the conversations, not the employee who is being harassed.

NinjaNurse · 03-03-2013, 06:35 PM

I agree with Fishette. Enough is enough. I don't care if it's a small company and he's been there forever, get over it people!! I highly doubt this would happen to a woman, esp from a man. It's a form of sexual harrassment. It is for your husband too, but we don't always think of it that way.

My husband is the same hgt as yours and he is THIN because he does manual labor all day. When his job was more sedentary, he was much heavier.

Calisto · 03-03-2013, 07:36 PM

He won't go to HR it's not that bad. He looks at it as a backhanded compliment that he didn't look overweight before. He knows he is not too thin.

They are honestly just worried about him and that he will keep losing, again they don't understand the plan. He is not uncomfortable about it, just annoyed they always bring it up when they are all together (about 3 of them).

I am sure if I decided to get down to where the charts tell me I should be people would say the same thing about me. A lot of people didn't realize I was as big as I was (clothes wise) because I know how to hid it, which is what he always did.

And I will admit I did worry about him for awhile, he is really thin and I am not use to him being that size.... but he has stopped losing and is staying around the same.

itzconni3 · 03-03-2013, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fishette

Does his company have an HR department? He should talk to his boss privately and then to HR about how she and his coworkers are making him uncomfortable at work. No one should have to feel uncomfortable at work - that doesn't make for a productive employee or a healthy work environment. Every company I have worked as a manager has put me through annual harassment training, and that supervisor is way over the line here and they should know it. The supervisor should be the one to stop the conversations, not the employee who is being harassed.

I agree that he should talk to his boss then the HR dept. I wonder if the supervisor & coworkers would be talking about a FEMALE co-worker this way?

AnnaBoBanna · 03-03-2013, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spiritman

He should tell them all that he is now ready to audition for the porn industry. That might shut 'em up.

LOL! I like this idea!

But really, he's being healthy and they need to recognize that. How? I'm not sure.