So, over the weekend, I had an issue with a friend that I really reacted horribly too. This is in relation to the guy I went out with from my last love-life thread, lol. Bob and Sue strike again!
It's been a couple weeks and I haven't heard much from Bob and he hasn't made any plans to hang out with me. Okay, fine, so I decided to ask a guy out that I was talking to before I decided to go out with Bob since there obviously wasn't anything going on that front. New date turned out to be a dud and left early, and I wasn't ready to go home yet, so I called Sue to see what she was up to. Long story short, I explained to her what went on with me, and her response to that is "I'm at Bob's house, I can't hang out, we're about to eat dinner." And I didn't really say anything about it, other than sending her a text shortly after I realized she was with MY Bob. "Wait... you're with Bob?" And I never got an answer to that. Naturally, because I was already kind of bummed out, and because Sue kind of has a history of being "free" with men, I immediately jumped to THAT conclusion. And because that made me mad amongst a bunch of other stuff that's made me mad about Sue lately, I finally broke down and deleted/blocked her on Facebook and removed all of our pictures together and stuff -- essentially removing her and any trace of her from my life. I had had enough of her crap and that was the final straw. Not to mention it kinda gave me a bad seed about Bob, but I was more mad about her than him.
Long story short...I was just on Facebook and whilst mindlessly scrolling through my newsfeed, I found pictures that Bob had posted... from the dinner he, Sue, and about 4 or 5 other people had the other night. It was innocent, and I feel like an ******* for jumping to conclusions about both of them. I already added Sue back on Facebook, but lord only knows what the end result of that will be... and if Bob finds out, lord only knows what kind of picture that painted of me. I'm not sure how to fix this if anything happens -- Sue didn't really know I had problems with her. She does now, I guess, haha. Yikes! =/
Our entire friendship has been me hanging out with her and her using me, for the most part. And she's put me into a lot of awkward situations and gotten me to do a lot of things that I really wasn't comfortable with. That was the old issue, the new issue is that every time I go out and am in her presence, I feel like she's trying to compete with me and one-up me, and I kinda feel like she's jealous of me and that I'm trying to steal her thunder. If the circle of peers' conversation is directed toward me, she tries to find some way to force it back to her, and sometimes she's even insulted me in the process. Sometimes she can be really great and fun, but sometimes she really just upsets me. And knowing that she's done and seeing her do some pretty sleazy things, it was easy for me to suspect her of being sleazy again. I just can't put much faith in her anymore other than being a good person to have a beer with at the bar every now and then.
Yikes, that is a tough one.
If I were Sue, I would be really upset that instead of talking to me about it, you just deleted and blocked me completely.
But you said that you have had a lot of issues with her lately...so maybe this is a blessing in disguise?
I had a friend years ago who drove me insane, to put it mildly. Super clingy, bordering on creepy, and always made passive aggressive comments about me. Finally she did something that was the straw that broke the camel's back, and I cut her out of my life completely. It shouldn't have taken nearly as long as it did, because I hadn't enjoyed her "friendship" for at least a year by that point...but once she was gone, I breathed a huge sigh of relief, and have never regretted it.
just because it wasn't a one-on-one date between Bob and Sue doesn't mean she wasn't acting sleazy. Based on what you posted about the dynamics of your relationship, it wouldn't surprise me if she had deliberately moved in on him, knowing that you liked him.
I think your head is in the right place - she's an acquaintance to do things with sometimes, not a friend.
I had a friend years ago who drove me insane, to put it mildly. Super clingy, bordering on creepy, and always made passive aggressive comments about me. Finally she did something that was the straw that broke the camel's back, and I cut her out of my life completely. It shouldn't have taken nearly as long as it did, because I hadn't enjoyed her "friendship" for at least a year by that point...but once she was gone, I breathed a huge sigh of relief, and have never regretted it.
That happened to me too, best thing I ever did.
Sounds like this Sue person isn't really the most healthy positive person in your life and this Bob guy is a dud. I wouldn't worry too much about either of them.
My question is - if you all are friends, why weren't you invited to the dinner?
Last edited by BreathingSpace; 02-12-2013 at 09:05 PM.
Well I say friends, but I'm kind of someone that pops in and out around them and I'm not regularly in their lives, so it's understandable as to why I wasn't invited, lol. I'm not too concerned about Bob; I mean, yeah, I'm sad cause he really did seem like a catch, but if it wasn't meant to be it wasn't meant to be. I keep trying to say "I'm gonna be single and be done with it!" and then dudes keep popping up and then turning out to be duds. I'd rather be single or not be single -- this whole duddy date thing is getting old.
As for them as a whole... I'm just done. I need to work on me, and those people aren't doing anything for me. If they were meant to be in my life on a regular basis then they would be. I'll get a solid group of friends one day, I guess... just not out of a bar. Lol
Last edited by mimsyborogoves; 02-12-2013 at 09:37 PM.
If she hasn't been a good friend, anyway, I would apologize for the conclusion you jumped to but gently (in a nice way) explain why you thought she wasn't a good friend (if you feel you need to do that) and then move on. If she uses you, you don't need her anyway.
Man, do I feel like an idiot!
