Hi. I am Ash. I am 22. Mother of 1. Im from Toronto, Ontario.
I have scoliosis, chondromalasia patella, fibromyalgia, rheumatism, anxiety and depression.
My 3yr old was just diagnosed as autistic with severe sensory issues.
My whole world revolves around his care and the stress is affecting me immensely.
I am on the back burner with my health. I have NO time for me.
I am in CONSTANT pain. I get numbness and random nerve attacks where my body gives out. My knees buckle my hands twitch my back gives. I can hardly keep up with my son and all the high demands it takes to raise him
My doctor has warned me off soo many exercises for fear of causing further damage. I should be going to physio and chiro but can't afford it.
I am not on any meds as they caused greater weight gain.
I do not know what to do. My sons health is stressful. My health is stressful. It is practically breaking up my relationship..
I wish I had all the answers but you need to take care of yourself too. Your child needs you to be healthy in order to take care of him/her. You'll probably take away 50% of your stress if you're feeling physically better. You're in Canada, don't you have socialized medicine? If you can take meds take them but then count calories so that your gain is minimal, you need them! I'd rather gain than live with chronic pain. I don't know how things work there but get some financial assistance. As for your child I hope you find a way to make things easier with medication (if you're ok with that) or therapy.
I truly feel for you. 3 is a really hard age as it is, you deserve an award.
I'd be doing some hard research too, on diet and your condition. Search around this site for a while, you'll find lots of people that symptoms are way more controlled on particular diets. For instance, I wouldn't have an artificial sweeteners, since I've read quite a few stories of painful conditions that resolve when off them.
Hopefully you can find a morning day care that can take your son and make sure that you get time to yourself. I know here in the states that's almost expected, and there are definately early intervention programs.
Hi Ash,
That sounds stressful indeed. It sounds like you've got a lot to deal with, and you didn't mention how much support you have around you, but I wonder if an autism support group might be something that could help. Perhaps connecting with other parents who have experience with raising a child with similar needs and also experience coping as you are trying to do?
Thanks everyone. We are on the wait list for early intervention. Also waiting for subsidized daycare too. I am going to be attending parenting groups starting this week (they are every other Thursday).
We do have pretty good medical. My doc doesnt want me medicated if we can help it because it will pretty much zombify me and I need to take care of my kid.
It really is just a struggle getting to all the help. Everything takes so much time. Patience I do not have. Nobody can handle my son atm other than me because they can't understand him or handle the extremeness of his behaviour.
I will definetely research the anti inflammatory diet. I am seeing my doc next week for some check up stuff and more tests. Might send me to some specialists.. also thinks I have an eating disorder.. probably compulsive overeating which doesnt help.
I have never had many artificial sweatners in my diet, but that was the first thing the doctor advised me to aviod. On my own I took out most sugar, gluten & dairy & found it helps my Fibromyalgia. When I spoke to my rhematoligist about the diet changes he said most people get HUGE relief from the diet changes (I do still eat some but not daily).
I also use a few different DVDs - Yoga for inflexible people & T-Tapp. When at my worst I felt like I could cry trying to turn a door knob or step up a single stair, so I feel your pain.
im new here today but i did raise 4 kids while chronically ill with fibro, OA, and Lyme. i hated the pain meds that made me feel like a zombie and wouldnt take them. but ibuprofen, fish oil and curcumin helped me with pain. also i take an antihistimine to make sure i sleep.
my brother and his wife raised and autistic child-she is 21 now. i watched what they went thru-it is very hard work. they got a lot of help from therapists fot the child...speech, PT etc and i think one thing they did was hire the therapists privately at times to get "time off" for themselves to rest.
good luck to you. i hope you find some answers and it gets easier.
Thanks everyone. It is a lot of work lol. I am dealing with therapists and filing forms for help. i do have some family. Booking a doctors appointment to discuss diet change as well... I need some will power LOL
Hi I'm late to this threat. I'm from Niagara Falls, Ontario, my almost 10 year old was diagnosed with autism several years ago. You can get financial assitance in a few ways. First, go on the Canada Revenue Agency's website, search their forms, you want a T2201 form, get your child's doctor to fill it out. It can provide you with $200 per month on your baby bonus. This credit, will go back to birth, so once approved and processed can give you around $200 per month from birth to present as a lump sum payment.
Second, contact Assistance for Children with Severe Disabilities. You can get around $400 per month to help pay for the additional expenses for raising a child with a disability. On top of the $400 per month, your child will receive a drug card from the province, to cover the costs of any prescriptions, it includes some dental and I believe vision coverage as well. Autism Ontario is a great resource for helping to fill out forms, etc.
I'm so sorry you have so much going on. I know there are quite a few of us with a lot of issues that complicate things.
You may not be able to do many exercises due to your physical problems, but you can control and even lose weight just by your diet alone. I would start there. There are many low cal, healthy recipes that are simple to make and fit within calorie limits. I would start there.
Do you have a friend or family member that would be willing to watch your son even once a week for an hour or two? That hour or two could be your time to relax and recharge, even if it's just to soak in a bath or have cup of coffee quietly. I do believe that would benefit you immensely.
Did you ask what exercises your doctor feels are safe for you? I would start there. You can find great recipe books at the library. I have a couple of Weight Watchers ones that are fantastic, and I have a Biggest Loser cookbook as well.
I have/had fibro, severe daily migraines (10 years!), scoliosis, and chemical sensitivity/allergies. Diet has been the single best thing I have ever done for my health. I am gluten free and vegan, and the combination has nearly rid me of every single symptom. I have 2 friends who have rheumatoid arthritis who have gotten off of their meds (symptoms improved that much) by going vegan, and another with lupus and RA who finds improvement by avoiding dairy. I definitely recommend anti-inflammatory diet at the very least. An elimination diet to find your specific food triggers would be even better.
Also as painful as it may be at first, you need to exercise. Even if you just walk for 2 minutes to start, that is something. You can start out with a small amount of (low impact only) exercise, then every other week increase time by 5-10% (eg. start with 10 minutes first week then 1 or 2 weeks later increase by 1 minute). If ever the workout feels like too much, cut back your time a little. Also some light stretching helps me. Don't overdo the stretches, you should NOT feel any pain.
As far as your son, I don't know a lot about autism, but I do have a cousin who is autistic so I feel for your situation. I have heard of some autistic children who have had some improvement on a gluten-free diet, so maybe that is something to look into? I have also heard some talk of something called the GAPS diet, I really don't know anything about it, but maybe you could research it to see if it might be something you would like to talk to your sons doctor about. I think it is also supposed to be good for fibro/arthritis.
Oh, one more thing, you should get tested for mineral/vitamin deficiencies. I also had muscle/nerve twitches/attacks that were caused by low magnesium levels.
Hey honey just stop doing what you are doing now. Just take a break Go to some good place spend sometime in greenery .Eat vegetables and drink fresh juices. all you have to care is your son. Just stop thinking about yourself you will feel much better.
That's a rough hand you have been dealt. I agree with many of the other responses. Look into programs that can help you with the added expenses and time that it takes to care for someone with special needs. There may also be a foundation in place to help with the treatment of some of your medical maladies.
Beyond that, I am epileptic and have PCOS and some pretty bad long term affects from the many many medications and treatments I've taken over the years. It is undoubtedly hard to deal with multiple medical disorders and the affects of medication, etc.
I will agree with everyone else's advice when it comes to diet. After researching diets that are proven to help epileptics and PCOS symptoms, I made some adjustments and after the first few weeks of trial and error, I have found relief from many of my symptoms.
Sometimes a few supplements, and cutting some things from your diet can make all the difference.
Beyond that, don't be afraid to ask for help. You might be surprised how willing your family and friends are to babysit for an afternoon, or even just show moral support (which can be equally helpful in its own right).
Hey Ash,
Not to alarm you but the symptoms you are describing sound like lyme disease to me. I have lyme disease and I have alot of your symptoms especially the numbness and nerve attacks and anxiety/depression. Also, lyme is transferable to children via the placenta and alot of the children with lyme disease are diagnosed as austic before finding out what they really have.
How Can One Person Have SO MANY Issues?
I don't know how things work there but get some financial assistance. As for your child I hope you find a way to make things easier with medication (if you're ok with that) or therapy. 
