I read an old thread the other day and absolutely loved it. It is now closed and thought it would be fun to revive it and start a new one. It is all the humorous, and maybe not so humorous, reasons we can think of for staying fat.
This is my list of reasons that I have personally experienced and/or guilty of doing. Some of these are pretty embarrassing but I'm banking on that I'm not the only one guilty of these.
I want to stay fat because I enjoy the “air conditioning” I create in the thighs of every pair of pants I own. It’s so refreshing!
I want to stay fat because I love getting winded by just climbing the stairs in our house to go to bed. It’s like my own exercise routine before turning in. I get extra exercise when I go up to do laundry.
I want to stay fat because I like to seek out the tables in restaurants rather than sit in those snug, intimate booths.
I want to stay fat because I like to come up with different excuses to tell my kids why we can’t go to amusement parks, I mean who needs to have that much fun anyways. Plus it’s cheaper!
I want to stay fat because I like to hide in my house like a hermit instead of going out in public and possibly running into people that haven’t seen me since I was thinner.
I want to stay fat because I like to alienate people by avoiding their invitations or plain ignoring them!
I want to stay fat because I enjoy the tiny airplane seats that were obviously made for children.
I want to stay fat because I like the look I get at the DMV when I give my weight that was 100lbs ago.
I want to stay fat because otherwise the girl at Jack in the Box will wonder where I’ve been, plus she has my order memorized and we know each other by name now!
I want to stay fat because it’s easier to change my son’s diaper on the coffee table rather than getting down on the floor.
I want to stay fat because I’d rather eat a whole pizza than broccoli. Yuck!
I want to stay fat because it’s an adventure being intimate with my husband moving my fat rolls around to get things accomplished.
I want to stay fat because I prefer to start my dinner at the dessert section of the buffet.
I want to stay fat because I like the way the recliner leans to one side now from me sitting in it. It’s easier to see around the corner now!
I want to stay fat because I like having to grab onto the nightstand to get out of bed.
I want to stay fat because I would much rather wear pants all summer even when it’s 100+. I consider my capris as wearing shorts.
I want to stay fat because I love owning t-shirts in every color that are long enough to cover my front butt. Like no one knows that’s under there.
I want to stay fat because I like the suction sound I make getting out of the bathtub…..and why is the water level always higher in the front than in the back??
I want to stay fat because I like to order two sodas in the drive thru so they don’t think all that food is for one person. I look at it as stimulating the economy.
I want to stay fat because I just love the looks on relatives faces when they haven’t seen me since I was smaller.
I want to stay fat because I love that my family makes the excuse our genes are the reason we are all big. See it’s not because I overeat and don’t exercise.
I want to stay fat because I look at holidays, events or family get togethers as a reason to let myself go on an eating frenzy. Strap on the feed bag. I mean isn’t that what they are all about.
I want to stay fat because I like to wonder if I’m going to break a lawn chair or not (which I have done).
I want to stay fat because I like the way I look and smell from not bathing for 3 days. Why polish a turd?