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Old 01-16-2013, 12:40 PM   #14
banananutmuffin
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Join Date: May 2011
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My husband is a wonderful man--a total gem--but he has, in the past, very subtly sabotaged me. Sometimes he cooks the meals he knows I like best. Or suggests we go out to restaurants. Or he buys treats I find hard to resist.

When I got to a weight where I was feeling really good, and was dressing a lot to show off my figure, he started telling me I was "too thin." He'd grab my legs and tell me they were too skinny. He'd say I was starting to look sickly. (Note: the weight I was at then was still higher than the weight I was when we met.)

I think some of this *was* because he was worried I'd attract attention from men. I also think some of this was because he was unhappy with his own weight (which is normal, but he's got a teeny tiny belly). I also think some of it was because my weight was pretty low and even though it was a weight I had been in the past, it was drastically different from what it had been for years.

Husbands and boyfriends sabotage for a variety of reasons. It may be intentional or not. It may be based on insecurity or not. The best way to determine his motives is to look at him as a person in general, how he treats you, whether he respects you, and if he always has your best interests at heart. There is probably no such thing as a totally altruistic person, but it's usually pretty easy to recognize when someone is being a jerk for their own selfish reasons.
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