I have 2 gorgeous girls And I refuse to put sweat pants or baggy clothes on them. My MIL is always on my case that I need to dress them more comfortable (in her opinion sweats and big t-shirts) But I told her that I do not want my girls to dress like that, I don't want them on baggy clothes. I want to teach them from the beginning that, as girls, we are supposed to take care of ourselves. I wish somebody had told me this when I was younger because I was pretty sad looking for a long time! (Never got my hair done, no makeup, no skirts, just ugly and baggy work out clothes)
Now, I don't want to make them high maintenance, but I want them to know that they need to take care of themselves... Im hoping that will be one less issue for them when they grow up.
I don't know how old your girls are, but I'm guessing quite young? Dress them however you want. There will come a day when they will choose, not you. And those days will be for a whole lot more years. So enjoy dressing them now while you can. As for MIL, it doesn't sound like your daughters are uncomfortable, so I would just ignore her.
My boys used to wear such cute, matching clothes. Oh, those were the days... LOL They look at the photos now and roll their eyes.
I personally don't agree with the idea of teaching girls that "as girls they must XYZ," but I'm not going to get into that debate.
Last edited by newleaf123; 01-09-2013 at 01:52 PM.
My daughter is 2 and already has preferences. She does like dresses and skirts but she's a dirty little thing that ends up covered from head to toe in dirt, chalk, you name it. When she wants to wear a dress, it's usually a cotton or sweater dress paired with tights and her pink or black high top chucks. Gotta have it slightly punk!
When she's not dressed as such, it's cute but comfy and appropriate knowing how dirty she's going to get. Cotton tops with embellishments, designs and bright colors, coupled with cute pants or shorts.
Depending on the age of the children, I'd say dress them how you want until they grow into making their own choices, though you still have a say in making sure it's tasteful and age appropriate. Just don't dress them in a way that would inhibit their play because that is how children learn.
Just my 2 cents.
ETA: I don't think taking care of yourself is merely a "girl" thing. Most people put themselves on the back burner and should take more time on their well being including appearance, mental health, stress levels etc. I am included in this group!
Last edited by XLMuffnTop; 01-09-2013 at 02:29 PM.
Reason: clarity
I don't think there is a difference in how you would treat boys or girls. I think you have to teach them basic hygiene, have them wear clean clothes and I can understand not wanting baggy clothes but there are 'comfortable' play like clothes that aren't baggy. They will eventually develop their own style anyway.
I don't think you are unreasonable at all! I actually smiled reading your post thinking what a wonderful mom you are.
I wish my mom took more time teaching me "how to be a girl". It's a whole big long story that I don't want to take up on your post but please do this for your girls!
Like someone wrote above, you know what your girls like. Just encourage them to be beautiful inside and out and teach them all the girly things they need to know (how to put on makeup, about TOM, about shaving, etc.). Your girls might be too young for all of that yet but someday.
My mother never showed me anything feminine cause she just wasn't herself and now I have had to learn all the feminine things I like to do all on my own like hair styling, makeup, what have you. I wish I had had someone to teach me. Not to force me to be feminine but to teach me stuff like that if I wanted to be feminine, which I did, growing up I always wanted to be like the other girls but I never got that chance. Gender isn't just what you're born with but I only got exposed to the more stereotypically masculine side of the gender spectrum and I felt cheated to not have had both sides so I could have made the choice for myself. I did of course gravitate toward the feminine but I couldn't actually express that til I moved out at 18 and then it took me a few years to grow into my more feminine identity cause my old ways, though I wasn't that into them, were so ingrained in me.
Long story short-they are young so dress them however you want. Once they get hold enough to appreciate it let them see the whole gender spectrum so they can find their place amongst it and not end up learning to shave their armpits at 18. yea.
I am glad my mom taught my sister and I about girly things, but I don't think it's just about being a girl. Like nelie said, I think it really goes both ways as far as just learning how to be "presentable." There's really something so shallow in it all, but I do feel very prepared going out into society feeling "presentable." Those who haven't been, unfortunately, are somewhat at a disadvantage.
I don't really think it's necessary to be super girly, wear make-up and wear dresses to be "presentable," but baggy sweats all the time don't really work either. Although, I see nothing wrong with distinguishing that baggy sweats and no make-up aren't the evil beyond evils either.
My two-year-old niece wears dresses, though sometimes it's just not practical. If she's just coming over to my house, or she's going to be playing hard somewhere, my sister will dress her in cute little sweatpants with brightly printed tops. She doesn't like to be constricted too much, so I don't see very much wrong with it.
Last edited by Song of Surly; 01-10-2013 at 08:41 AM.
Is not like I'm putting Christmas dresses on them everyday... I just don't want them to use sporty clothes on regular basis, like those Adidas pants and jackets, or very lose pants. They wear jeans, jeggins, leggins and skirts sometimes (more on Summer time) cute tops and jackets. I'll always let them pick the clothes when I buy them, and I usually pick their outfits for the day (they are 5 and 6 1/2), i usually give them 2 choices but sometimes they have to wear what I tell them... I ALWAYS make sure their hair is just right
So, I dont know why I'm getting grill over this. I was very frumpy! And God knows girls have an easier time when they just better put together.
My mother never showed me anything feminine cause she just wasn't herself and now I have had to learn all the feminine things I like to do all on my own like hair styling, makeup, what have you. I wish I had had someone to teach me. Not to force me to be feminine but to teach me stuff like that if I wanted to be feminine, which I did, growing up I always wanted to be like the other girls but I never got that chance. Gender isn't just what you're born with but I only got exposed to the more stereotypically masculine side of the gender spectrum and I felt cheated to not have had both sides so I could have made the choice for myself. I did of course gravitate toward the feminine but I couldn't actually express that til I moved out at 18 and then it took me a few years to grow into my more feminine identity cause my old ways, though I wasn't that into them, were so ingrained in me.
This is exactly me... Thank You for putting it nicely.
I don't know what age your girls are but this made me giggle. If they're near the age of my daughter you're either very determined or they're very patient! LOL My daughter's hair is always a mess! Getting it back into a pony tail or brushing it out (curly) after bath is always a fight. The best way to do it is while she's distracted brushing her teeth so I have a 2 minute window if I'm lucky. lol Then when dad does her hair.... omigosh!
I personally don't agree with the idea of teaching girls that "as girls they must XYZ," but I'm not going to get into that debate.
I used to think the same way, but then you grow up and you realized that there are certain things that because they are girls they must do. I always tell my girls that when they sit down they must keep their legs together. My MIL and her friends tell me that they should be able to sit however they want, but because they are girls we know that that is not true, if they are wearing a skirt they will be showing their underwear, which we all know is just not right.
Im not sure if she (MIL) doesnt understand because she only had boys and she is not very girly herself...
I don't know what age your girls are but this made me giggle. If they're near the age of my daughter you're either very determined or they're very patient! LOL My daughter's hair is always a mess! Getting it back into a pony tail or brushing it out (curly) after bath is always a fight. The best way to do it is while she's distracted brushing her teeth so I have a 2 minute window if I'm lucky. lol Then when dad does her hair.... omigosh!
Since my girls were little (2years) I sat them in front of the tv and i would tell them "Im going to fix your hair now, the more you move the longer I take. If you don't like it we can cut it"... So now they are use to it... Not sure if it was the best way but it sure worked ))
Sounds to me like you need to spend less time with your MIL
Just kidding...
But really, it sounds like your girls are happy and you're a thoughtful mother. Don't give your MIL the power of making you second-guess yourself, especially over something that you care strongly about and your girls aren't resisting.
Dressing girls ;)
And I refuse to put sweat pants or baggy clothes on them. My MIL is always on my case that I need to dress them more comfortable (in her opinion sweats and big t-shirts) But I told her that I do not want my girls to dress like that, I don't want them on baggy clothes. I want to teach them from the beginning that, as girls, we are supposed to take care of ourselves. I wish somebody had told me this when I was younger because I was pretty sad looking for a long time! (Never got my hair done, no makeup, no skirts, just ugly and baggy work out clothes)
