IP is killing my social life. Here I am again home alone on a Saturday night. It's not fun going out anymore. More often than not I find there is nothing I can eat, I find it difficult to sit around for hours with water while everyone else is drinking cocktails. My coach says eat before you go out but then I am sitting doing nothing for hours while everyone is eating and drinking. I live in the city and we like to go out to try the newest, best restaurants or go to wine tastings. There is no grilled plain chicken on any of the menus where we go... and I don't want to pay $40.00 for plain chicken. My friends have stopped inviting me because they don't want to waste expensive tickets to food and wine pairing on me which I totally get. I don't even want to invite my out of town friends to visit until I can go out again. No-one wants to come to the city and sit in my condo. I am not married and have no kids. Being on IP means I am eating alone every night instead of heading out into my hood to meet up with friends. Its been 3 months - Not sure I can do this much longer. I have had good results but I am miserable. I would kill to walk out my door and go out for a glass of wine. Its only 7:00 - What am I going to do all night?? I'm hungry and the last thing on earth I want to do is cook or eat salad. There is no flexibility - Just need to vent - I miss my social life!!
I know it can be frustrating - if your focus is on the food and not the socialization. Let's be frank for a minute. What is more important, your ability to eat and drink when you're out, or your time spent with friends? Your social calendar (and quite frankly I'd question the trueness of friends who stopped hanging out with me just because I was trying to improve my health), or your progress on the diet? These are questions only you can answer.
I can only speak from personal experience - for me, I have happily spent time with friends out in town, gone to big and small parties, been to restaurants and all the while stayed on plan - no cheats and no drinks. I made the choice that food was not the most important part of the event I was at (even at a restaurant, it is just a location, the reason for me being there is the people I'm with). I have water with some Mio in it, or plain water, or black coffee. I eat what I can, and plan ahead for when I can't. I have not missed a single event and have had very few people question what I'm doing because I don't make a big deal out of it.
The bottom line is, you are the only one who can determine what is most important thing for you. No, IP is not easy. But things worth doing/acheiving rarely are.
Hang in there--this is not forever. If you are like me, you ate whatever for a long time to get you to the point that you wanted todo IP. It's not going to be fixed overnight.
Do some research on restaurants that work for you and then invite your friends. Places with grilled fish or lean steaks work just fine, and you can plan out ahead so you can focus on your friends. Or come up with things to do not centered around food--easier said than done I realize. Spa days, shows, movies, lectures--find other things to stay connected that aren't 100% food focused.
Well, if you feel this strongly, perhaps there are things more important to you.
There is NOTHING more important to me right now
I just returned from a happy hour. I drank club soda w/MIO and was not concerned with what others were drinking...it was the PEOPLE I was with that we're important.
Last night we went out to a "bar food" place but I still worked the plan around my evening.
We are pretty much foodie folks too. I've found if I call ahead, the chef is usually very happy to accommodate me (but not if I make special requests after arrival)
Am I missing some of the tastes this season? Yup. Is it worth it to me? Absolutely. I've even had friends change restaurant choices to better accommodate my plan. I just keep telling them: meat & veggies and I'm good. Wine dinners or craft beer pairing dinners don't work so well for me but if I call and inquire about being the DD and discuss menu options, I've been accommodated.
I don't see goals or weight lost or anything else listed, other than a complaint.
It is totally up to you whether this diet is worth it to you or not. If it is, embrace it and join us. If not, I'm not sure what plan would fit a life you have described, but you're welcome to seek one. For me, my health and wellness is more important than ANYTHING, especially some missed meals. If your plan is to lose weight and return to previous lifestyle, then you'll be right back where you were.
My social life got better, not worse. My friends admire my creativity with drinks and meals and the skinnier I got, the more I want to do things. I often invite my friends over and feed them delicious, healthy food and enjoy each other's company. So sorry you are having a rough time, but think about your ultimate goal... What is the most important to you?
I know it can be frustrating - if your focus is on the food and not the socialization. Let's be frank for a minute. What is more important, your ability to eat and drink when you're out, or your time spent with friends? Your social calendar (and quite frankly I'd question the trueness of friends who stopped hanging out with me just because I was trying to improve my health), or your progress on the diet? These are questions only you can answer.
I can only speak from personal experience - for me, I have happily spent time with friends out in town, gone to big and small parties, been to restaurants and all the while stayed on plan - no cheats and no drinks. I made the choice that food was not the most important part of the event I was at (even at a restaurant, it is just a location, the reason for me being there is the people I'm with). I have water with some Mio in it, or plain water, or black coffee. I eat what I can, and plan ahead for when I can't. I have not missed a single event and have had very few people question what I'm doing because I don't make a big deal out of it.
The bottom line is, you are the only one who can determine what is most important thing for you. No, IP is not easy. But things worth doing/acheiving rarely are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisa32989
Well, if you feel this strongly, perhaps there are things more important to you.
There is NOTHING more important to me right now
I just returned from a happy hour. I drank club soda w/MIO and was not concerned with what others were drinking...it was the PEOPLE I was with that we're important.
Last night we went out to a "bar food" place but I still worked the plan around my evening.
We are pretty much foodie folks too. I've found if I call ahead, the chef is usually very happy to accommodate me (but not if I make special requests after arrival)
Am I missing some of the tastes this season? Yup. Is it worth it to me? Absolutely. I've even had friends change restaurant choices to better accommodate my plan. I just keep telling them: meat & veggies and I'm good. Wine dinners or craft beer pairing dinners don't work so well for me but if I call and inquire about being the DD and discuss menu options, I've been accommodated.
I don't see goals or weight lost or anything else listed, other than a complaint.
It is totally up to you whether this diet is worth it to you or not. If it is, embrace it and join us. If not, I'm not sure what plan would fit a life you have described, but you're welcome to seek one. For me, my health and wellness is more important than ANYTHING, especially some missed meals. If your plan is to lose weight and return to previous lifestyle, then you'll be right back where you were.
It is up to you.
Very well said both of you. You are focusing on the things you CAN"T have, we all have to make choices for ourselves and make this work for us. If your friends don't wanna hang out with you because you can't eat or drink what they are having then they aren't really friends.
I have one of my girls who is a social butterfly, she was always out partying with her friends, she said I don't know if I can do this......This is what I told her....Go to the bar (away from your friends) order a water/club soda with a twist of lime, people will never know the difference, it looks like a vodka and tonic. For her birthday they went out and she had a bottle of water with her cuz she had just started the program and her friends told her she was a party pooper. So after I gave her this advice she went to another birthday party, did what I told her and her friends thought she was a blast.....she ONLY DRANK WATER!.....the next day she was very happy with herself and now goes to parties and don't even think twice, she just has a great time with her friends and enjoys the company.
Feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to help you continue with the program. Change your attitude and look at this as a lifestyle change because if you don't, then you will be right back where you started in no time. If you stick to IP you will see unbelievable results and will be very proud of yourself. How much do you have to lose if you don't mind me asking?
Winelover- hopefully the pros will outweigh the cons.
I have "only" been 40 pounds from where I wanted to be, needed to be. The closer I get the confident I am getting. I have more energy, I used to lay around like a fish on my bed.
How much do you have to lose? I have been to high end restaurants while on the diet and don't care that I have to pay a high price for grilled meat, in the long run it is cheaper.
I have had, am having issues with friends out and out trying to sabotage. We have to make our own choices and live with them. Why are your friends not being supportive? I know my "real friends" are supportive.
I share your pain, though maybe for a different reason. I'm a very shy person by nature, and what I found some time ago is that alcohol helped me be "more sociable" in a party/social gathering setting by helping me get past the shyness. For the most part, I gave up alcohol some time ago due to it's impact on my weight It's a lot more "work" for me to have fun in a party setting now and not seem like a "party pooper." I find I have to put myself into the right frame of mind before I go, which is that I'm going to be ok, I will have fun, I'll blend in with the folks I feel comfortable with. I do find that my social interactions at parties have changed and I look for more easy, natural conversations with folks who I am comfortable with (versus those who dominate parties in a social animal sort of way!) It's actually been a good thing for me, although a challenge, as I feel less superficial and a bit braver, but it took a while for me to get to this point.
It's just food, it shouldnt stop you from going out. You can order a nice juicy steak for dinner, or some grilled fish, shrimp, lobster, steamed crab legs.....it doesn't have to be chicken.
The food and wine will be there when you get to your weekly cheat day in maintenance, and you will be at goal.
I avoided some social events that were centered around alcohol in the first few months also, but now I go. You can still have fun socializing without the wine and fatty foods.
If you don't feel comfortable going to dinner with them, why not invite them over for appetizers and a "cocktail" before dinner. You could have IP friendly appetizers and give them a drink while you sip on club soda and lime. You could get some socializing in and stay OP. I also agree that if you don't make a big deal about the "diet" no one notices what you are eating and drinking!
Thanks everyone - I survived the night -Sometimes I do feel left out . My friends are supportive - Its Me! Although they don't really get it - They are all a size 2 and have never dieted. I was doing fine but I am finding it harder so I have been trying not to put myself in difficult situations. Maybe not going for me is worse!! Its been 3 months and 30 pounds - I would like to lose another 5 or 10 to be safe which means another month. This has been a complete lifestyle change for me - Its not only about the food - On average I was out 4 to 5 times a week. I am very social - I never turned down an invitation and even would go out alone. Its how I unwind - I don't even have cable. I don't watch the Kardashians I am out living like them. I chose IP because with my lifestyle I figured the all or nothing approach was best. The good news is I haven't done anything I regret yet and I have saved a lot of money in the last 3 months. Maybe with the holidays behind me I can refocus and just get through January so I can start to phase off. Again Thanks -
Starting to resent the IP Diet
