Well I don't even know where to start except that I am a friggin mess!
A little history...I have yo yo dieted all my life, always been over weight, tried every diet, lost some gained some blah blah blah! Then I found ideal protein and lost the most I have ever lost and so easily. 50 lbs gone and seemed like in no time looking back. I was the smallest I had ever been, loving the compliments, finally felt comfortable in my skin for the most part, enjoyed going out again and actually didn't mind getting my picture taken. Then I phased off.....then the binging started.....but so much worse then I ever was. Before IP I had always been somewhat of a binger....never 2 cookies, always a row and a half, love fast food and so on. I couldn't understand why I actually get sad to think of never eating like this again.......binging....., even tho I HATE how I feel and that food controls me, but my counsellor made me realize that this is how I have dealt with emotions since I was a kid. My dad was a binge drinker when I was growing up and I now actually remember when I was in grade 5 plus I would buy like 5 chocolate bars and eat them in a day among other sugary treats....almost every day. Anyway, IP was the longest diet I have ever followed 100% for a length of time. I had lost on WW, but even then after weigh in I would take the night "off" and eat...a lot! Being on IP for like 25 weeks or so then phasing off I lost complete control and now my binging is so much worse.....to the point that I am eating when I am completely full still and can't reason with myself why I shouldn't eat 3 donuts or fast food 3x a day. I can't snap out of the feelings I get, it is like I am in another world or "blacking out". Its like nothing I have ever felt before....or I guess the intensity of it is so much worse then before. If I "allow" myself to eat something off plan it is all or nothing and then it turns into eating as much of everything before tomorrow comes. I am in turmoil emotionally....my mind never stops of how am I ever going to control this. I truly thought loosing all the weight I would do the right thing and maintain....I always thought to myself if "god" would give me a new body I swear I will keep it thin.....now sadly I realize it isn't the case and I am a mess trying to figure out how to deal with this emotional roller coaster I am on. I can't even express how sick I am feeling about this.......people say just don't eat it or nothing tastes as good as thin feels....but when you have an eating disorder it is not that easy. Now all I think of is what people are saying about my very quick weight gain......"see just another diet.....loose and gain as usual". Kudos to everyone who has figured it out and kept it off....I hope I get there soon.
I know we each have our own story to tell, but please let me share the little I have learned.
Remember your beautiful progress!!! It is amazing and impressive and I bet you thought you could never do it! But you did! Gosh, how so many hope to be there! You are an inspiration!!!
You don't have to change the next year, month, week, or day, or even hour. Just the next moment.
You are worth the effort to change the next moment.
Treat yourself with the same respect and love and caring that your would treat whomever you most love in the world.
Do not harm yourself with food. You are worth too much to allow any harm to yourself!
Remember, in a sense, how you treat yourself is how you are telling others it is okay to treat you.
You mentioned in your post it's not so easy for people who have an eating visits. It really isn't easy, and you should consider getting professional help from your doctor. At the very least, talk to your coach about it. Maybe she has helped someone else who has gone through thus.
If possible, try to reduce the amount of sugar and carbs you are taking in. I've read articles that say sugar can have the same addictive effects as drugs.
You have had such great success with IP, try to focus on that and move forward.
I understand. I have exactly the same
problem and binge like that as well- all or nothing. Maintenance is the tough tough part baby- many people on these boards are in the same boat. I had reached goal about a year ago and then went off " just for the holidays" well, I have been on off on off on off ever since. Today is day 14 of a pretty close to phase 1/2 eating- very low carb. I have lost some and am working to get 15 more pounds off- 5 pound goals at a time. I wish you well- I have a couple of friends that I call or text when feeling weak and I post here. These are the things that help. Good luck- I wish you well!!!!!!
Last edited by Determinedat47; 12-09-2012 at 09:05 PM.
Reason: Poor spelling
I use to binge in high school and I always did it in hiding. I started thinking I needed to go talk to someone about it. Then a few years later, when I was older and out of high school I figured out it was depression and went on medication.
I have been on and off medication over the years but I don't hide and eat anymore.... NOT saying you need medication, but maybe you need to talk to someone?
Children of binge drinkers often grow up with their own problems with binges, not necessarily alcohol, could be food or relationships or spending money uncontrollably. It's about patterns we learn in childhood and coping mechanisms. It might be helpful to talk to a psychologist or social worker, especially one who has worked with adult children of alcoholics. Or you could look into Al-anon, even if there isn't an active drinker in your life. Many cities have specific groups for Adult Children of Alcoholics which can be very helpful in understanding patterns we develop in childhood that are destructive in adult life. I don't know you, so if it doesn't fit, then please disregard, I don't mean to offend. Best of luck with it.
I agree. There is no shame in speaking with someone locally with experience and expertise in eating disorders. It is actually incredibly difficult to take that first step: the strength is in doing it if you need. It might be the first step in valuing yourself enough to take care of yourself!
There is a great book called Potatoes not Prozac that explains the affect glucose has on seratonin and beta endorphine (author works with alcoholics and families of alcoholics) and really helps explain why some of us binge, even when our emotions are in control and we arent hungry. Its not your lack of willpower or faith, its your genes and sensitivities. This diet is great for glucose imbalance, but it sounds like you may have low seratonin and/or beta endorphine.
There is a great book called Potatoes not Prozac that explains the affect glucose has on seratonin and beta endorphine (author works with alcoholics and families of alcoholics) and really helps explain why some of us binge, even when our emotions are in control and we arent hungry. Its not your lack of willpower or faith, its your genes and sensitivities. This diet is great for glucose imbalance, but it sounds like you may have low seratonin and/or beta endorphine.
Maybe that is all of our problems. Maybe not exactly binging for everyone but none of us got overweight by undereating.
Read "Brain over Binge". You can find it on Amazon.
sorry...I've never posted before on here and I'm a huge lurker but I just had to pop up on this. You are describing me perfectly. The book I mentioned above helped me immensely.
Read "Brain over Binge". You can find it on Amazon.
sorry...I've never posted before on here and I'm a huge lurker but I just had to pop up on this. You are describing me perfectly. The book I mentioned above helped me immensely.
Thanks Louise I downloaded this last night on my kindle and definitely think it is a must read.
It is by Kathryn Hansen, she writes it for bulimics but it actually is very appropriate for any type of eating disorder.
Her approach to food was one which many people can relate to and exactly as Kelly described in the first post in this thread.
She was not a purging bulimic but a severe binger who then did extreme exercise for the up to 10 hours the next day so she wouldn't gain weight. She was diagnosed as a bulimic but it is the same as anyone who really overeats; just without the extreme exercise most people who binge like she did become very overweight.
Her recovery came through reading Rational Recoveryhe New Cure for Substance Addiction by Jack Trimpey.
That book is used as an alternative to A.A. and my son used it to overcome alchoholism is his 20s and has been totally sober for 10 years now. We had been beside ourselves trying to help him since his late teens and nothing had worked so that book was like a miracle with him.
Soon after he used the same approach to stop smoking based on a book by Allan Carr. So two very strong addictions overcome in a very brief time.
I find this book on eating fascinating and highly recommend it.
After I finish it I want to download the other book mentioned above Potatoes Not Prozac but not sure how that would work with my carb addiction.
Thank you so much to everyone, especially Yaelbelle. I had been wanting to post something because I have been in such turmoil for months now but was worried I would get the wrong person reading it and get some terrible feed back, but decided I needed to reach out......thank you for your responses, I cried.....my husband thought what the ****, but to have such kind people giving me encouragement and tools to try and get me thru means so much. Every time I try to refocus and get rid of the carby foods, I am so unhappy depressed and miserable. I have tried medication because I suffer from depression and anxiety, but my last experience was bad and trying to get off it was unbelievable. I had a counsellor who now is on a medical leave suggested Wellbutrin, but I am scared for one of weight gain, and the side affects. So trying to decide what to do. I also need to find another counsellor.....ugh....I have been reading a book called binge breaker.....but I clearly have issues I need to work thru......completely irrational thinking when it comes to food. I am so mad, sad and feel defeated again......the damage I have done already.......again to my body is just unbelievable!! Disgusting, I don't want to go out to work or get together' s.........I don't want to face people the way I look.
I am going to look up the two books recommended......thank you so much to everyone again....I am on track so far today....P1 and went to the gym, but still feeling pissed and sorry for myself. Hoping it passes soon. I have a potluck to go to on Friday with my daughters horse group, then a get together on the 21, then Christmas. My original plan was to try to be good thru the week and slack on those get together nights, then Xmas of course.....then go full tilt in January with no more temptation, but after a couple days of binges i have to rethink my plans. I feel like I am tired of missing out on stuff because I am always dieting......but I am always bargaining with myself. Anyway thank you thank you, you have all given some advice and tools to help me out.
Last edited by kellycg102; 12-10-2012 at 11:29 AM.
You are the only one who can take control of your eating. I know I've struggled with my issues for YEARS and plan to work on them for the rest of my life. I've had many more good days than bad since IP but I struggle too. I was on track for gastric bypass and part of that process was speaking to several doctors about why I eat. Once I did some of that work it really helped me. I needed to come up with other soothing choices and behaviors to do instead of stuffing my face. It's worked for me. Good luck.
Binging and can't stop!
he New Cure for Substance Addiction by Jack Trimpey. 
