My IP struggles and motivation. What keeps you motivated?
Some of us have a strong support system and others, who do not, need some sort of motivation to reach their goal. What is yours?
Background:
Before I started IP, I decided to change my life for the better, so I quit smoking (20+ smoker) and drinking. With a combination of this lifestyle change and a high stress job, I gained a massive amount of weight in a relatively short period of time. (60lbs in less than five years) Ultimately, I gave up on my appearance and ended up looking like a frumpy bag lady. Then I started noticing that strangers were treating me differently: not as nice. Bias toward overweight/obese? I definitely felt that and it sucked.
The Defining Moment
One day, I was walking at the mall and overheard a girl ask her BF, "Am I as big as she is?" My heart sank and at that instant, realized that I needed to do something immediately!
I was ready to throw down lots of money for lipo but the thought of surgery (and the cost) scared me! After seeing some info about IP, I was skeptical and just put that info in my back pocket for a bit.
Ready for a change
I found a coach and threw myself into IP 100%. I don't care who I pissed off. It's my life, my body and my health. I am only accountable to myself.
My [UN]support system
Unfortunately, I don't have a strong support system: (1) DH is slender (5'8" 150lbs) and eats everything in sight without gaining an ounce, (2) my family is very slender and can't understand why I can't eat like a "normal" person, (3) my girlfriends are also very slender, tell me I look fine and can't understand why I can't join them for cocktails or happy hour. ("C'mon on, a few drinks won't hurt you!"..."We miss you, why are you hiding from us?")
Life on IP
As you can imagine, I have been a total hermit since starting IP. For lack of a better explanation, I just don't feel like wasting my time and energy explaining something to people who will never understand what it feels like to be overweight/obese.
My motivation
Whenever I feel bored from the IP food or drool at Pizza commercials, I open my closet and see all my pre-huge clothing (that I spent SO much money on). I never threw them away because I was in total denial for so long. It would be an utter shame to lose all that money!
Congrats on your weight loss! Many of us have experienced supportive people in our lives while on this journey. I believe in me and really use the naysayers as motivations "I'll show them!" and I am showing them! I go out with friends and drink water. I make sure to eat something prior to going out so that Im not hungry. When I go to restaurants I find out which one beforehand and look up the menu so I know what i can eat. Went out recently and had one friend who kept trying to push food. I nicely said to her I'm asking for your support not your sabotaging all my work. She shut up quickly
All the things that I did with my children that I slowly stopped as I gained weight. They are growing up fast! Too Fast!!! Sure I can always lose weight "tomorrow," but when that tomorrow comes, they may not want to ride bikes, go hiking, etc. with their mom, or, worse, if it comes too far away, they may have already left the nest!
My refusal to a buy "nice" clothes in my "fat" sizes has left me feeling like I don't have anything to wear. But I know I have lots of pretty things if I could just fit in to them.
Those random glimpses of myself: in a pic, in a window, in a mirror unexpectedly, and I realized just how BIG I am.
My declining health. I want energy!!! Flexibility!
Feeling too insecure to join in social events.
Knowing what people must think of the "fat lady." Knowing the confusion and concern it causes people who care for me.
Fear of embarrassing my loved ones, especially my children. Already embarrassing myself!
And the biggest of all: SEEING THE WEIGHT/BODY FAT % DROP!!![/LIST
Last edited by libertybelle; 12-09-2012 at 02:24 PM.
My motivation for starting the diet:
Becoming more healthly, living longer. Seeing pictures of myself at my daughter's college graduation last winter and my neice's wedding this summer. Not being able to sit comfortably in an airline seat. Wearing a size 22W for too many years. Always feeling like the "fat" lady.
Now I stay motivated by the losses I see each week and the my clothes falling off of me and going down in sizes of clothes. And gettting complements and support from friends and family.
Seeing everyone elses success on this site keeps me motivated. IP isn't easy and it really helps me to see that someone can dedicate themselves to this program and lose so much weight.
If Wuv can do this for 80 something weeks without cheating, there is no reason I can't see tgis through to goal. There are so many success stories here, and I want to be one of them too.
I have some medical issues that are, if not caused by, at least made worse by the excess weight. And my family history is full of bad hereditary health stuff. I don't why it took me so long, but I finally got scared straight in terms of my health.
I'm lucky, I have been greeted with nothing but support from friends and family. My DH often shakes his head and remarks that he doesn't know how I am being so "good", but is supportive.
Another motivating factor for me is that I have a full disclosure policy. I tell any and everyone who asks what I am doing to lose weight. I tell them what the diet is, and will describe it for them if they want more information. I figure the more people who know what I am doing, the more will notice if I stop losing weight---don't want to feel like a failure in front of so many people.
And the expense, of course, is a motivation in itself--if I fail and quit before I reach my personal goal, that is a lot of money down the drain! But it will be worth all the expense at the end of this journey!
First, I want to thank ALM2000 for starting this thread. I can relate to you SO much...especially the living like a hermit since starting IP. Here is my story:
Background:
I’m 1st generation born and raised American and come from a South Asian background. I believe Asians, in general, have a warped idea of what is considered fat. My earliest memories as a little girl were of my family, including my mean brother and relatives, making fun of me for being “fat”. To us Americans, I was actually a normal sized, normal weight child. However, in the South Asian culture, what we Americans think is “normal size” is considered fat to Asians. My point is…from the earliest age of my life, I was given the direct message that I was fat…and because I was regarded as fat, I was also regarded as ugly…and because I was given the message that I was fat and ugly, I felt worthless….and I DO believe that my then 18-year old male cousin targeted me and started sexually molesting me when I was 6 years old because my entire family treated me poorly for being “fat and ugly” by South Asian standards. Sexual predators target children who are vulnerable and God know with the way I was treated by family members, I was definitely vulnerable and an easy target.
As a now 34 year old woman, I look back at my childhood pictures and see a normal looking, cute girl. I look back at my teenage pictures and see a normal sized, pretty young girl. I look back at my pictures of my early 20s and I was STILL a normal sized woman. However, during all my life, I’ve never thought I was a normal-sized, normal weight, attractive woman. Because of my poor self-esteem and childhood sexual abuse from my cousin, I have never believed that ANY man would desire me or that I was worth being treated nicely like one of those “pretty girls”.
Even though I’ve been an emotional eater for all of my adult life, I remained between 130lbs to 135lbs for most of my 20s. Unfortunately, I saw my childhood sexual abuser again at a family function back in 2008. That’s when my weight started to creep up and by the end of 2008, I weighed 148lbs. My weigh ballooned again in 2010 because my parent became deathly ill. Since 2010, I’ve added 10lbs each year. As of this morning, I am a solid 175lbs with 38% body fat. I have dark spots on my neck and, even though I tested negative for diabetes at my last check up, my doctor said I need to change my eating habits and I am most likely insulin resistant (though she didn’t test me for that…go figure!). The dark spots on my neck don’t help me with my self-esteem.
The Defining Moment
I don’t think there was any 1 true defining moment for me to start IP. I'm fortunate to have a good salary to afford IP. I’m just tired letting my life slip by me. I’m tired of letting opportunities (mostly in my personal life) slip by me because I feel like I’m not worthy of it…and yes, I would feel worthy of it if I was slender and more physically desirable. I’m tired of being ignored by the men that I like…I’m tired of believing the so called “Oprah self-love” talk about loving yourself no matter what you weight because the right man will come along. Let me tell you…yes, even at my current weight, I have a few men approaching me. However, I don’t like the type of men that are approaching me. I want a man that I’m physically attracted to…and the men that I’m physically attracted to are the men who like slender, physically-fit women. It is what it is. I love Oprah, but you can’t fix biology and the natural selection process.
Ready for a change
I Googled IP, read up on it, saw several YouTube videos about IP (there’s this 1 Asian girl named Zarah who lives in Seattle and has multiple IP videos about her weight lose), found a near-by clinic, and signed up. I don’t care much for the 2 coaches because they don’t seem warm and genuine to me, but they are women and, given my childhood sexual abuse, I feel more comfortable having a female coach take my measurements than a male coach.
My [UN]support system:
Unfortunately, I don't have a strong support system either: (1) my family is very slender and can't understand why I can't eat like a "normal" person, (2) I’m the “fat one” amongst my girlfriends and I don’t like going out to bars where they all get hit on except me because it confirms just how physically unattractive I’ve let myself become, and (3) I have an on-line dating profile on a couple of dating websites, but I get confirmation of how physical unattractive I’ve become based off the men who actually contact me. When I weighed 40lbs less, I received A LOT more inquiries from men as well as received inquiries from men that I found physically attractive. I don’t get that anymore at this current weight.
Life on IP:
I AM a total hermit since starting IP. LOL!!! I know myself. I know if I hang out with friends at a restaurant/bar, then I will be tempted to drink alcohol and eat fatty foods. That’s what I’ve been doing since the age of 21. That’s what my brain (psychological effect) is use to and craves. So I currently spend most of my weekends renting a couple of movies from RedBox, eating my IP packets, and watching TV. I don’t like to go shopping because I feel unattractive. I don’t really have any hobbies. I’m just waiting for the weight to drop on the IP program so that I no longer put my life on hold.
My motivation:
Every parent wants a physically beautiful daughter. That's just the way it is. I’m 34 years old and I’m not married. In my Asian culture, I am damaged goods because I am regarded as “old and fat”. I want to make my parents happy by being THAT beautiful daughter. My dad, who was deathly ill a few years ago but survived it, told me his last wish before he leaves this world is to see me get married. I want to give him that wish. In order for me to do that, I NEED to lose this weight first because the reality is that men are physically attracted to smaller-sized women. I know this for a fact because I was once a smaller sized woman.
I also need to lower my cholesterol and triglycerides according to my doctor, but I’m most motivated to get married so that my dad can get peace-of-mind before he dies. My dad come from a different generation and culture where women are supposed to be "take care of" by their father and then their husband. I know that type of mentality is frowned upon in our American culture post women's liberal movement. I just no longer want to embarrass to parents amongst their friends for having the unmarried, fat daughter.
Sorry…I didn’t mean to make this all sound like some pathetic sob sorry. I know we all have our sob stories.
First, I want to thank ALM2000 for starting this thread. I can relate to you SO much...especially the living like a hermit since starting IP. Here is my story:
Background:
I’m 1st generation born and raised American and come from a South Asian background. I believe Asians, in general, have a warped idea of what is considered fat. My earliest memories as a little girl were of my family, including my mean brother and relatives, making fun of me for being “fat”. To us Americans, I was actually a normal sized, normal weight child. However, in the South Asian culture, what we Americans think is “normal size” is considered fat to Asians. My point is…from the earliest age of my life, I was given the direct message that I was fat…and because I was regarded as fat, I was also regarded as ugly…and because I was given the message that I was fat and ugly, I felt worthless….and I DO believe that my then 18-year old male cousin targeted me and started sexually molesting me when I was 6 years old because my entire family treated me poorly for being “fat and ugly” by South Asian standards. Sexual predators target children who are vulnerable and God know with the way I was treated by family members, I was definitely vulnerable and an easy target.
As a now 34 year old woman, I look back at my childhood pictures and see a normal looking, cute girl. I look back at my teenage pictures and see a normal sized, pretty young girl. I look back at my pictures of my early 20s and I was STILL a normal sized woman. However, during all my life, I’ve never thought I was a normal-sized, normal weight, attractive woman. Because of my poor self-esteem and childhood sexual abuse from my cousin, I have never believed that ANY man would desire me or that I was worth being treated nicely like one of those “pretty girls”.
Even though I’ve been an emotional eater for all of my adult life, I remained between 130lbs to 135lbs for most of my 20s. Unfortunately, I saw my childhood sexual abuser again at a family function back in 2008. That’s when my weight started to creep up and by the end of 2008, I weighed 148lbs. My weigh ballooned again in 2010 because my parent became deathly ill. Since 2010, I’ve added 10lbs each year. As of this morning, I am a solid 175lbs with 38% body fat. I have dark spots on my neck and, even though I tested negative for diabetes at my last check up, my doctor said I need to change my eating habits and I am most likely insulin resistant (though she didn’t test me for that…go figure!). The dark spots on my neck don’t help me with my self-esteem.
The Defining Moment
I don’t think there was any 1 true defining moment for me to start IP. I'm fortunate to have a good salary to afford IP. I’m just tired letting my life slip by me. I’m tired of letting opportunities (mostly in my personal life) slip by me because I feel like I’m not worthy of it…and yes, I would feel worthy of it if I was slender and more physically desirable. I’m tired of being ignored by the men that I like…I’m tired of believing the so called “Oprah self-love” talk about loving yourself no matter what you weight because the right man will come along. Let me tell you…yes, even at my current weight, I have a few men approaching me. However, I don’t like the type of men that are approaching me. I want a man that I’m physically attracted to…and the men that I’m physically attracted to are the men who like slender, physically-fit women. It is what it is. I love Oprah, but you can’t fix biology and the natural selection process.
Ready for a change
I Googled IP, read up on it, saw several YouTube videos about IP (there’s this 1 Asian girl named Zarah who lives in Seattle and has multiple IP videos about her weight lose), found a near-by clinic, and signed up. I don’t care much for the 2 coaches because they don’t seem warm and genuine to me, but they are women and, given my childhood sexual abuse, I feel more comfortable having a female coach take my measurements than a male coach.
My [UN]support system:
Unfortunately, I don't have a strong support system either: (1) my family is very slender and can't understand why I can't eat like a "normal" person, (2) I’m the “fat one” amongst my girlfriends and I don’t like going out to bars where they all get hit on except me because it confirms just how physically unattractive I’ve let myself become, and (3) I have an on-line dating profile on a couple of dating websites, but I get confirmation of how physical unattractive I’ve become based off the men who actually contact me. When I weighed 40lbs less, I received A LOT more inquiries from men as well as received inquiries from men that I found physically attractive. I don’t get that anymore at this current weight.
Life on IP:
I AM a total hermit since starting IP. LOL!!! I know myself. I know if I hang out with friends at a restaurant/bar, then I will be tempted to drink alcohol and eat fatty foods. That’s what I’ve been doing since the age of 21. That’s what my brain (psychological effect) is use to and craves. So I currently spend most of my weekends renting a couple of movies from RedBox, eating my IP packets, and watching TV. I don’t like to go shopping because I feel unattractive. I don’t really have any hobbies. I’m just waiting for the weight to drop on the IP program so that I no longer put my life on hold.
My motivation:
Every parent wants a physically beautiful daughter. That's just the way it is. I’m 34 years old and I’m not married. In my Asian culture, I am damaged goods because I am regarded as “old and fat”. I want to make my parents happy by being THAT beautiful daughter. My dad, who was deathly ill a few years ago but survived it, told me his last wish before he leaves this world is to see me get married. I want to give him that wish. In order for me to do that, I NEED to lose this weight first because the reality is that men are physically attracted to smaller-sized women. I know this for a fact because I was once a smaller sized woman.
I also need to lower my cholesterol and triglycerides according to my doctor, but I’m most motivated to get married so that my dad can get peace-of-mind before he dies. My dad come from a different generation and culture where women are supposed to be "take care of" by their father and then their husband. I know that type of mentality is frowned upon in our American culture post women's liberal movement. I just no longer want to embarrass to parents amongst their friends for having the unmarried, fat daughter.
Sorry…I didn’t mean to make this all sound like some pathetic sob sorry. I know we all have our sob stories.
Hi Freebird, Thanks for sharing your story. I, for one, am inspired by your tremendous courage in overcoming the unimaginable things you suffered at the hands of your cousin. It is not a sob story, but a show of strength and determination.
My motivation was feeling like I finally had to do something or continue feeling like crap, I wanted to have a baby but was scared of having GD or not being able to get pregnant because of the weight. And being 34 years old and never ever ever feeling good about myself, my weight, my looks or my self confidence.
My defining moment was this past July, while on a weekend away with my dog (husband had to work)...I stayed at our family vacation home in Maine, and my MIL was also there with 2 of her friends...one who was on Maintenance on IP. I knew a couple of people at work who had been on IP with great success, but I was always skeptical of quick weight loss plans and diets that cut out major food groups. I spent the weekend observing her eating and asking her lots of questions about the diet. She finally convinced me that this is what I should do. So, i went to the informational meeting a week later, and started a week after that.
My support system is great - my coworkers, who I spend more time with than anyone are very healthy people, always exercising, eating well, and they cheer me on weekly - I text them after my weigh ins and they always send me supportive feedback.
My husband has stood by me for the past 10 years and knows exactly how miserable I was regarding my weight. He always cheered me on and supported me with whichever weight loss journey I was on, whether it worked or not. He always ate the food I cooked without complaining, even if it was 'diet' food.
Life on IP - Well, I'm not a hermit, that's for sure. I still hang out with friends for happy hour, go to work dinner functions, and hubby and I go out to eat a few times per week. I have never been able to stick with a diet before EVER, but for some reason, I am able to stick with this diet. Yes, a few people ask me what I am doing, why can't I just have a slice of pizza and get back on the wagon the next day, but I basically ignore or explain why I can't (depending on the person and the situation), but mostly people don't really say anything.
I am really glad I found this website and have learned so much from everyone!
What motivated me to lose weight was health. My lab results indicated pre-diabetes. I knew I had to lose weight.
Being on IP can be a lonely process. In the course of 8 months on the program, you develop a very strong backbone. You can go to parties and sip water in a wine glass. You can say no to the people who try to get you to eat.
What really helps you stay motivated is finding people online to support you as well as your coach.
I am inspired by all of you finding your own way to health and sticking to IP. It does work..and you can learn to maintain your loss with this program.
What motivated me to lose weight was health. My lab results indicated pre-diabetes. I knew I had to lose weight.
Being on IP can be a lonely process. In the course of 8 months on the program, you develop a very strong backbone. You can go to parties and sip water in a wine glass. You can say no to the people who try to get you to eat.
What really helps you stay motivated is finding people online to support you as well as your coach.
I am inspired by all of you finding your own way to health and sticking to IP. It does work..and you can learn to maintain your loss with this program.
Maile your success and continued participation help a lot! Thank you for the encouragement!
My IP struggles and motivation. What keeps you motivated?
