Let me start by saying I know I know Im by no means fat, however feel that as my weight has dropped Ive actually become more self conscious about my body than originally!!
What weight did you start to accept your body? Do I have to lose every ounce of fat before Ill ever be happy? I kind of worry that I have an unhealthy perception of what is a good weight and if I do manage to lose more weight I could eventually end up being too thin (though unlikely as I havent lost weight in a looong time).
Are we ever truly happy with our bodies? I should just be grateful that Im a healthy weight, but for some reason something inside is telling me otherwise!!
I'm really sorry sweetheart but there is no such thing as a happy weight. There isn't a BMI point or a body fat percentage that ensures happiness or even satisfaction with your body. When you lose weight, you get to wear smaller pants and that's all. Losing weight by itself doesn't make you healthier or fitter and it doesn't make the problems you had before go away.
Now that you're at a healthy weight and I think that the jury is still out on there even being such a thing, accepting your body is another battle that you'll have to get on with. It's not easy, we are all surrounded by botoxed, airbrushed images of 'perfection' that we'll never meet.
Personally, I find that the gym helps, not so much the exercise but getting into the showers with other, normal looking, woman helps to remind me what normal and in my case, middle aged normal women actually look like because I'm not part of a demographic that the media portrays.
I have a ways to go, but I have also noticed that as I lost weight I became more self conscious and hyper sensitive about every part of my appearance. It was like a switch was flipped inside. I think it is important to spend time making yourself look the best you can no matter what size you are but you have to make peace with any imperfections that you perceive that you have. It is all about personal perception.
I've been experiencing this too! I've lost 30 lbs in the last few months as yet I feel fatter than ever and am hyper aware of my body, looks, etc. I keep hoping that once I lose the next 20 lbs I will enjoy my weight loss and be happy with my body.
If you have body issues, weight isn't the biggest problem. Losing weight doesn't change your mind or preconceptions of beauty, and it won't fix any problem but the fat, itself. There is NO happy weight, per se, for someone who isn't happy with themselves regardless of their weight. We can be more or less satisfied with how we look and feel, but at your weight, with what you're describing, the issue sounds more like body dysmorphia than anything physical.
You must use your mind and logic, not emotion, regarding your health and appearance. That 'voice' inside of you telling you to be discontent and 'do more' with your body won't stop on its' own, no matter what weight you achieve. You must intentionally tell yourself the truth about your size and health and be deliberate in representing reality to yourself on body image and health. It doesn't magically happen, you must work at a positive self image as much as you worked on weight loss.
Sometimes external things help, like pampering or sports. But again, these are not magic bullets, but interrelated to a thought process whereby we value ourselves and see ourselves as worthy of attention and appreciation, thereby undermining the previous negative thought processes about ourselves and our weight. The mental work MUST be done or nothing else will help. This is one of the reasons so many people have regains - they get to their 'happy weight' only to discover it is another number like any other, and at the end of the day all the things about themselves they were hoping to change, aside from the body mass, itself, are still there. This often leads to distress, despair, and giving up for a season. Only when they work on the underlying mental issues does the weight loss then become 'enough'.
Last edited by Arctic Mama; 09-24-2012 at 02:11 PM.
i feel happy with my weight when i stop thinking about how fat i look all the time. for me its around 150. i like the way i look in clothes around then and i stop putting my purse on my lap every time i sit down to cover up my gut!
i know for some women being a size 10 on bottom and a size M on top doesnt seem very thin, but i have a smaller waist and bigger hips/butt so i feel good about my figure when im at that point.
It was 180 for me. I had lost quite a bit of weight and even at 180, I had a great shape, I've never had a big belly so I could wear most outfits I wanted to. I was pretty happy there. That was actually the problem for me, I was so happy I really didn't have much motivation to continue losing weight.
One thing that probably doesn't need to be said ... outside of some very rare example - no one looks like the swimsuit and fitness models including the swimwear and fitness models themselves.
There is a massive amount of photoshopping going on and fitness contestants work for months to get ready for a single day competion. They look completely different during the off season.
So while I understand what you're talking about I'd say the happy weight is really all in your head.
JohnP-I love that you've quoted Kaplods...aren't we all lucky to have her wise perspective to keep us grounded. Just sayin'...she helped me so much the first time around. And obviously not just me.
When did you reach your happy weight?
