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Old 04-21-2012, 12:48 AM   #16
threenorns
 
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hon, i'm big (but not as big as i was). the one time i tried an online dating service, i described myself as "short, fat, greying, forty, with a scarred face, two tattoos, and a missing tooth") - which is all 100% correct.

o. m. g. i got HAMMERED with responses!

which was really wierd so i deleted my account real fast.

i have massive stretch marks - MASSIVE: i'm talking the width of my thumb; so wide i can smooth the skin and look through to the blood vessels beneath. the skin on them is so delicate and fragile that i have to be careful what clothing i wear - the elastic on cheap undies will saw right through the skin and then i've got to deal with bleeding in the hip crease. and of course there's the lovely cysts that keep forming in the stretch marks that have hair follicles caught up in them.

i have never EVER lacked volunteers for dating. when i'm small, i can't even do my flipping laundry or groceries without some guy giving me the lothario grin. i can't handle that crap so i like to stay big and in the basement.


now, on the flip side, my sister's bff is tiny - she's 4'10", weighs 87lbs. she looks like a little china doll. she has had tens of thousands of dollars worth of surgery: she's had her eyes opened up. she's had her nose reduced. she's had cheek implants, boob job, and a lower-body lift (that's where they cut a strip out around your waist and pull up the skin on your lower body like a pair of slack pantyhose. she's had underarm and thigh tightening and liposuction.

she can't get a date to save her life. she is so obsessed with monitoring her appearance and ppl's reactions to it that you can't hold a conversation with her - she's a conversation magnet: it always swings around to her.

"oh, penny, my grandmother just died..."

"oh, i'm sorry to hear that - she was really old, wasn't she? she had nice skin - how did she keep her skin so nice? does it look like i'm getting wrinkles?"

THE best thing you can wear is a suit of confidence. project that any guy who gets into your bed better realize how exceptionally lucky he is - that will automatically run off those with inferiority complexes and self-esteem issues. play the waiting game and play it hard - that gives you two a chance to get to know each other and relax and it also means guys who just want an escape button ("just hit it and quit") will get bored and move on.

by the time it gets to doing the mattress mambo, he'll already know about your weight loss, will be amazed at your achievement, and feeling mighty privileged that you are sharing the results of your effort with him.

Last edited by threenorns : 04-21-2012 at 12:49 AM.
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