There will always be excuses for why we haven't achieved what we wanted to achieve, but they help nothing. When you see that everything is off track, you gotta stop and figure out why and fix it. You figure out which excuses are actually related to true obstacles and then figure out how to get past them. You stop and say, okay, what's the next step? It's this way in all things, including fitness. I'm seeing that all things are connected.
I'm not satisfied with my body, but I know I can't do much right now. What I can do is exercise for an hour, take diet pills, and avoid fattening food. I'm doing those things. So, I have to stop beating myself up over not making it a priority when my dissertation defense is my priority. Acceptance.
I can't fix my ruined marriage on my own; it takes two. I've offered plans to move past this, but H blows them off. Maybe that means he doesn't want to fix it. If he did, he'd find a way to tell me so. I am not both myself and him, so this is not all in my hands. What is in my hands is the ability to communicate and compromise -- and not fatten myself up so I feel I deserve the rejection I'm feeling. Acceptance.
My draft is late, but it's half submitted. Since I don't have a time machine, I can only do what I can do. I can set the rest aside and finish project A, not worrying about the state of submitted project B. And, if it's late, it's late. Either they will take it or they will defer my defense. What I can do is just finish the task I'm expected to finish. Acceptance.
It's so easy to get derailed when our progress isn't what we want it to be. But, we have to accept that it won't always be what we want it to be and we have to "roll with the punches". Wallowing in self-pity or avoidance gets you nowhere. Accept what you can't change and accept what the circumstances are, and then you'll have the chance to change what is in front of you.
It becomes more and more obvious every day that managing weight is inherently connected to the ways in which we balance stress and expectation and focus our efforts. Bringing life into balance is important. I'm accepting that "full steam ahead" doesn't refer to everything all the time. And, I'm hoping that by diminishing discouragement, I can be better at managing my fitness. I want these changes to be lifestyle changes, not just temporary ones so that when I deal with my weight problem, I can recognize that it won't ever get this out of control again.
11/10 (194). 6/11 (188). 7/11 (178). 11/11 (165). 1/12 (174). 3/12 (175). 4/12 (172). 5/12 (178). Now: 7/14 I'm 188.
Mini-Goal 1: (-10 pounds = 178) --
Mini Goal 2: (-20 pounds = 168) --
Goal Weight: (-23 pounds = 165) --
Eventual Goal Weight: 150 -- someday
Last edited by neon_zephyr : 04-13-2012 at 10:59 AM.