[Chain]

I can't be the only one who feels like this:

I've been eating better, exercising frequently, sleeping well and drinking lots of water and my body feels amazing, but it doesn't look very different at all - which is driving me nuts!

I am doing this partially for my health, but at 23 years old adding an extra few years onto the end of my life seems like such an abstract and intangible gain while wearing a bikini for the first time or making my boyfriend's friends jealous of him would be really great now - if they weren't so slow in coming!

So how do you deal with it when the way you feel and the way you look are so completely at odds? How do you stay on track when it feels like the things you really want seem like they are so far off?

[All In]

I know exactly what you mean.

I just keep sticking it out because I do feel better physically and I don't want to be fat anymore. It is dumb what I do, but I look at myself nude in a full length mirror...and I know I can't leave myself this way!

I can't stand the thought of buying ANOTHER grandma bathing suit for the summer. Or having to wear a "fat girl" formal dress on the cruise I am going on in the fall. I'm tired of overspending on custom dresses so I can look half decent!

I had to custom order my senior prom dress because I was a size 20 and couldn't find anything in my size on the rack that looked nice. I custom ordered my wedding dress in a size 22 last year because I wanted a beautiful dress.

Instead of thinking about the good things that will happen from staying on track (because they aren't tangible) I think about all the bad things that will happen if I don't stay on plan. Sounds depressing, but for me it is very inspiring!

[LiannaKole]

At my high weight, I finally decided to do something because I didn't like how I looked, but even more so I wasn't comfortable in my own skin. I felt trapped, panicked, and wanted to escape.

I parked myself in front of a mirror and took a good long look at myself. I felt myself out internally. And I told myself, "Look, you want out, OK. But it's going to take work, and it's going to take time. You have to understand that because if you don't, you'll never escape." And I did understand it.

Now, I lost sight of that a few times and stalled out for about a year in total. I got impatient, restricted too much, then overate when I got too hungry and gained weight. I gained enough back that I got a little glimpse of how it had been. It scared me.

So now I'm trying again. I'm not giving up. I'm somewhere around halfway to where I wanna be ultimately, and I'm moving forward. It's still going to take work, and it's still going to take time. But I'll do it. I AM doing it.

Impatience is going to strike, probably way more than you'd like. But remind yourself that what you're doing is getting you closer to having how you look match how you feel. Just keep moving forward with what works for you and don't give up. It's certainly not impossible, but at times it's not easy to wait so long. But from what I've heard, it's so worth it.

Good luck, and congrats on your loss so far!

[Vex]

It seems far away now, but time goes by VERY quickly. Before you know it, another year is over.

What you look like at the end of that year is entirely up to you.

[Jiggles81]

I so get what you are saying!! I hate having to go anywhere where I might have to be in pictures with other women. We have a friends wedding coming up in a couple of months and I know people will want pictures of all of the wives (my husbands fraternity brother is getting married). I dread them because I always look like a beached whale next to them

It's hard to deal with. But I just remind myself that if I get down, I (personally) am likely to binge. I look at where I was and where I am and realize that I WILL be there soon enough!

Don't let it get you down. Even if you don't see a change, it's likely that others around you DO.

[Riesz]

I know it's frustrating but on the upside, you feel a LOT better so might as well keep at it!

Just keep doing what you're doing -- living healthy -- and the weight loss has to follow.

In the meantime, pat yourself on the back because you're awesome and living healthy is great!

[pixelllate]

I'm 23 as well!! I regained 4 years ago and haven't felt comfortable so overweight since. I felt so unhot from 19-23 lol, while so many of my friends clamour to take pics of themselves before clubbing lol.

I have to rein myself in so I can be more patient.

It helps when I tell myself "You've been this weight for a long long time, you can wait a little more. You'll get there and its best to do it in a way that minimizes the chance of regaining (because its PAINFUL even after I have done many many times!" I wanna be the skinny tortoise not some yo yo dieting hare!
If only impatience burned cals!

edit-Also, it helps for focus on the process and not on your end goal. Its like if you have to walk a mile, keep going keep going, don't think about how far away you are. I had to stay away from fitness mags and cute clothes because it only made me sad, but it leaves me more time for walking.

[runningfromfat]

I'm at the tail of a very slow journey. I have to say that slow weight loss really has helped me more than you can ever imagine. It's given me time to change my habits, really re-examine my life etc. I'm very thankful that I didn't lose too quickly or appear slim overnight because otherwise I wouldn't have had the motivation to stay with it as long as I have.

I know how frustrating it is when your outside doesn't reflect all the hard work that you're putting in, but it WILL happen if you keep it up! If you can afford it make sure you're buying well-fitting bras and clothes and you'll find the change is more noticeable (definitely hit up used clothing stores/sales too!).

Also look at small victories like being able to exercise more, not getting tired as easily, your joints feeling better etc. These things really made a difference for me even earlier on.

[MedChick87]

Originally Posted by Vex

It seems far away now, but time goes by VERY quickly. Before you know it, another year is over.

What you look like at the end of that year is entirely up to you.

THIS definitely. It's hard to consider the amount of time it's going to take to healthily lose the weight. But I like to think back over the last year (of which I've pretty much been maintaining at 180-190 lbs). If I had stuck with my "program" of eating healthy and consistently exercising, I probably would have been at my goal months ago.

I have to remind myself that: Every day that you stay on plan is just one step closer to your goal. Every day that you don't is one step away. Do this now so that a year from now you won't look back and regret not sticking with it.

[Moonsai]

I'm also 23, and I know how you feel. To keep myself in check, I remember all of the times I gained weight by letting myself eat whatever I wanted.

I figure, since I've lost weight before, why can't I do it again? I just have to keep trying.

[Raven132]

I'm just ahead of you at 24. It does suck. I can't seem to lose more than half a pound a week most of the time. The scale is now tucked away in a cabinet and only comes out occasionally. Weighing myself every day is an exercise in futility. It does nothing but discourage me, so I just don't do it. I know that what I'm eating is what's good for me, and that's the important part. The weight will come off if I keep to the diet. So, maybe set a fitness goal to get your mind in a better place?

[bopbot]

Originally Posted by Raven132

So, maybe set a fitness goal to get your mind in a better place?

Agreed. Fitness goals are great. They'll aid you on your way to weight loss, but they're also inherently good for you because, since your fitness is much more in your control than the sometimes fluctuating number on the scale, you will see consistently exciting results. And it just feels GOOD to know you're on your way to achieving something you want.

Not that weight loss doesn't feel good to me, but it's a different kind of good, and a little more fraught with anxiety. Meeting fitness goals just feels straight good.