[badassey]

I have noticed that it is a common theme on here to lose x-amount of weight, disappear for a year or so and then come back heavier than you ever were before. (Hello, story of my life!)

I thought it would be good to start a "This is the LAST time I'm doing this" Thread. As someone who really needs help with the struggle of constantly dieting and then failing, I would like for this to become a thread of support and understanding for those of us who can never seem to get "there" in weight loss and always go back to our old ways.

Personally, I struggle with having one setback or one night of bad eating and I let that unravel my mindset for months. I get so down on myself that I cannot pick myself back up, dust it off, and start a new day. I am of the mindset that it is all-in or all-out. There is no middle ground with me. I desperately want to change that way of thinking. However, it is hard to sort through those feelings by talking with someone who does not understand them. Does anyone else feel like that? I want to talk about these things with people who understand it - I know there are at least a few of you out there who know what I'm talking about. Why do we put ourselves through this?

So c'mon ladies (and gents). Let's make this an all-around support thread for those who have failed in the past and are here again wanting to make this the absolute last time. We must stop putting ourselves through this!

Come here to:

• Discuss your embarassment of losing/gaining
• Talk about your day
• Tell about experiences you have had in your many weight loss journeys
• Vent
• Talk about your successes
• Discuss how has it affected your self esteem
• Do you feel like it is an endless cycle that will never end?
• How can we change our mindset and finally get over these feelings?
• Having a bad day? Talk about it. Understand it. And use this thread as a motivator to move on.
• Discuss and accept your failures and use them as learning experiences
• Know that you deserve better

Is anyone else with me?

[badassey]

(This post is REALLY long. Sorry! So here's a summary: I lost and gained back 43 pounds since January of last year. I am coming to terms with my failures. I do not want to sabotage myself, but I keep going so. I struggle with self-loathing and feelings of failure. I constantly underestimate myself to make my life easier - so I do not have to work as hard. And I want to change all of this. Join me?)

For me, I have been a yo-yo dieter since I was 12. I do not know what normal eating is - it is either constant restriction or constant binging.

On my last weight loss journey, I lost 43 pounds (223 to 180) in roughly five months. Since May of 2011, I have gained all of my weight back plus one pound. I weighed in at 224 four days ago. It is not that I was ignorant to my gaining. I told myself when I reached 190, I would turn myself around. When I saw 200, I said the same thing. 210, 220, and finally, when I became the heaviest I have ever been. I stayed at 224 for a few weeks. To be honest, I stayed at 190, 200, and 210 for a long time each time. When I hit those numbers, I'd change my diet immediately only to fail a week later. I'd diet for two days and binge for five. It was terrible for my self esteem and my body. I know this. But I could not stop myself.

My fears with weight loss surround the idea of not being good enough. My binges are ways of losing self control - they tell me that I am not good enough or strong enough to eat healthy. It is almost as if I enjoy that feeling. It is self-loathing and it is all I know.

In coming to terms with these feelings, I am beginning to understand one thing. I am good enough. My mind is tricking itself saying I am not good enough because then I force myself to fail. If I fail, I gain weight. And if I gain weight, I hold myself back from really experiencing life. There are so many things I want do that I do not allow myself to because of my weight. Losing weight means losing those excuses and those vulnerabilities. If I lost the weight, I wouldn't have anything holding me back or making me afraid. And that scares me, for some reason. For some, that would be liberating. For me, it is terrifying. Having nothing holding me back? Actually having to experience life? That, to me, is frightening.

In my heart, I know I want to feel liberated and happy but it is so hard to break this mindset of failure and self-loathing. For example, in all of my dieting-attempts, I have never exercised consistently. I was an athlete growing up (a chubby athlete, but an athlete) and played sports all the way until high school. As a teenager, I could run a 7 minute mile, no problem. Now, I cannot even go up the stairs without having to take a break. This failure to be what I used to be just encourages those feelings of not being good enough. I hate that I have dug myself into this hole. Instead of fixing it and making it better, I emotionally eat.

I do not think I can focus on more than one thing at once (conquering my diet or conquering my exercise) - I know this is totally wrong. But it is what I tell myself. I do not think I am strong enough to do both. I mean, know I am and I know I deserve to treat myself better. But that is one thing I am working on.

This will be my LAST time. I will be successful in my weight loss. And if I fail, I will not sabotage myself. I will pick myself back up and fix what has been broken. I WILL DO THIS!

So now that you know about me and my struggles, tell me about yours. What are you struggling with? What are you working on?

[sotypical]

WOW! This is so the thread for me.

I joined 3FC in 2006 - I lose 50ish pounds in 10 months and felt AMAZING! And then I gained back 20 and lost it and then 30 and lost is and then 20 and lost it, etc, etc, etc. Until Finally I have gained back over 40 in the last year and a half. This is absolutely ridiculous and I feel so stupid for doing it again, and again and again.

I remember when I lost the 50 pounds originally it wasn't hard, I just ate right and exercised and it came off. But it's like every time I hit 160 I get this mental block and start gaining weight again.

Anyway, here I am again. About two weeks of trying and I have lost a couple pounds. And I swear, this is the LAST FRIGGEN TIME!

[Melissa Dawn]

I know that feeling wow I ate horrible today or this week and have it set me back. I also have a huge problem of letting stupid little things that my husband will say without thinking get to me. Like the other day I mentioned about started week 3 of couch to 5K and he said something like "cardio is for suckers" He loves to run so I know he was just playing around but in the past I would have let that stop me. This time I'm just relying on myself.

Setting my life up for success has helped me lose 20lbs since 12/27/12. I never let myself get to that point where I am so hungry I start binging, I've cleaned out all my cupboards and the hubby keeps claiming there is now snack food. There is it's just nuts, and veggies and some SF/FF pudding and jello. I also joined a gym that offers a personalize fitness plan every 4-6 weeks. I get to meet with a trainer (who has lost 50lbs himself) and he sets me up with a plan, emails me, and bugs me to no end when I'm at the gym. I'm amazing to have that support group at the gym.

Instead of just switching my diet all at once I've slowly changed things. I knew I wanted to head towards the South Beach Diet way of eating. So I read the book and started making little changes. I stopped eating fruit, then bread, then cereal. So once I started my Phase 1 it wasn't such a shock to the system.

I also find that planning ahead has really helped me. I still eat out 2-3 times a week I just don't get the things I use to. I've also dropped soda and juice, I get more satisfaction by eating more stuff then drinking my calories.

[sotypical]

I think the thing that is most frustrating for me is I know exactly what I need to do.

h4a5r - I am going to add you to my myfitnesspal friends - hope you don't mind! Maybe we can motivate each other?

[Princess of the KING]

Originally Posted by sotypical

I think the thing that is most frustrating for me is I know exactly what I need to do.

This is the same with me! I've set my goals now though and I'm trying to work out 6 days a week. This week I've made 4 out of 6 so far! Tomorrow I plan to go again! Today will be a struggle staying in my calories. I have less than 500 for dinner.
h4a5r- I added you on MFP too- hope thats okay!

[badassey]

Originally Posted by sotypical

I think the thing that is most frustrating for me is I know exactly what I need to do.

h4a5r - I am going to add you to my myfitnesspal friends - hope you don't mind! Maybe we can motivate each other?

Heck yeah! Add away, baby! In fact, I think you already did. And I totally accepted.

I know exactly what you mean. You wake up on any given day and you know exactly what you need to do that day to have a "good" day - eat well, exercise, etc. You even have a meal in mind of what you could eat for breakfast. But... you just don't. Or you start out well and then sabotage yourself with a bad lunch. And since you already had a 1,000 calorie lunch, why not have a 2,000 calorie dinner?...

I'm glad I am not alone! We can do this together!

[MadameZombie]

I never really tried to lose weight before and I think it was because I wasn't tired of being fat yet. I don't think people truly change until they absolutely become sick and tired of being sick and tired.

It's easy to eat a salad. It's easy to visit the gym. It's all easy when you have that first spark of motivation. What's not easy is continuing to eat those salads and visit the gym when the spark of change has faded. I stopped waiting to feel motivated and I just decided that a salad was now my new go to meal, my gym was my temple. These things were lifestyle changes that are now as normal to me as driving to work or brushing my teeth. I have been losing consistently and have not gained in the past year because these are permanent changes for long term health.

The only thing that separates the failures from the accomplished is commitment. I don't intend to stop. No matter how small the activity might be, I will try to move. I will always pack my lunch. I like the way I live now.

If I have a bad breakfast I get OVER it. I don't continue to make bad decisions and have a bad lunch and a bad dinner. No ounce of effort toward my goal goes to waste. That mentality keeps me on plan.

[sotypical]

Originally Posted by Princess of the KING

This is the same with me! I've set my goals now though and I'm trying to work out 6 days a week. This week I've made 4 out of 6 so far! Tomorrow I plan to go again! Today will be a struggle staying in my calories. I have less than 500 for dinner.
h4a5r- I added you on MFP too- hope thats okay!

I added you too!
WTG on the working out.

I think today is going to be a bit of a struggle for me too - I had a good day planned but I have just not been feeling it. I should be okay if I stick to the rest of my day - my main thing right now is to just write EVERYTHING down. Even if I screw up!

I have exercised the last 6 days, taking today and tomorrow off though. Will be back at it Sunday!

My fiancé got me a Fitbit for Valentine's Day and I am LOVING it. It is really helping, I also like how it shows how many calories you burn in a day so you aren't just guessing. I also find it motivating to go out of my way to get some extra steps in.

[pixelllate]

For the past 4 years I have been losing and gaining the same 15-20 pounds. I am now just barely at my lowest in 4 years.
I am trying not think "once I mess up might as well give up" Each time, I am getting better and better at finding out what works for me.
I also have to accept that sometimes life things happen, that make it really hard to focus on weight and as someone who is an emotional eater, it was just too hard not to turn to food. I am learning now not to do so (not perfect at all, but I am getting better, esp at saying No if I don't want to eat something...I'm such a yes person)
I am getting better at working at something even if I don't see the reward yet. Sometimes the scale doesn't budge, but if I continue doing the right things, it does-a few days later. And its a matter of still trying even while the scale doesn't budge, which I'm not used to because I am such an "immediate reward" person.

[sotypical]

Originally Posted by pixelllate

I am such an "immediate reward" person.

ME TOO!!!!

This week I am have being stuff like - "I can't open my mail until I exercise" or "I can't eat dinner until I exercise."

I find stuff like that helps me. I do that for everything, like cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming. Sometimes it is the only way I can get myself to do the stuff I don't feel like doing! LOL

Something else I am REALLY trying to work on, is just not standing on the scale as often. If I keep eating right and exercising it will come... or so I hope haha.

[KittyKat1465]

I LOVE this thread. This is exactly how I feel. I lost 60lbs in 4 months and then the holdays came and I gained 30lbs back! I felt totally disgusted with myself and now it is hard to get back on track because I feel like I just ruined everything. Slowly getting back on it now, but it seems harder this time than it did back then

[Princess of the KING]

Originally Posted by sotypical

I added you too!
WTG on the working out.

I think today is going to be a bit of a struggle for me too - I had a good day planned but I have just not been feeling it. I should be okay if I stick to the rest of my day - my main thing right now is to just write EVERYTHING down. Even if I screw up!

I have exercised the last 6 days, taking today and tomorrow off though. Will be back at it Sunday!

My fiancé got me a Fitbit for Valentine's Day and I am LOVING it. It is really helping, I also like how it shows how many calories you burn in a day so you aren't just guessing. I also find it motivating to go out of my way to get some extra steps in.

I ate most of my exercise calories. I was so hungry at dinner time. Do you like your Fitbit? I was thinking about getting one.

[sotypical]

Originally Posted by Princess of the KING

I ate most of my exercise calories. I was so hungry at dinner time. Do you like your Fitbit? I was thinking about getting one.

That's okay if you are hungry.

I LOVE my Fitbit so far. It connects in with MFP and adjusts my calories. I like seeing how I slept, how many steps I took, etc. I find it motivating to try and hit my 10,000 steps a day. Totally recommend it if you can afford it. They are a bit pricy and not worth going broke for, but if you have some spare money or a birthday coming up or something TOTALLY!

[pixelllate]

Hey, I was thinking, maybe its helpful not to think of it as "I'll never do this again" because we might, we might regain some weight. Or all our weight. But we don't HAVE to. Things might happen in life, where we would normally turn to food, but we don't have to. I can physically lose the weight, its the matter of me actually doing it. and if I regain, I know that it was due to my decision to eat too much. Kinda makes me feel good because I know that I can't do much if I somehow can't physically lose weight, but since its a mental and emotional issue, I can work on that.