Originally Posted by Esofia
I was raised in London, though I fled for Scotland at 18 and have stayed here ever since.
Random question: you know how bisexuals will sometimes say "I'm not interested in the person's gender/what's between their legs, I fall in love with their personality"? I've said it myself in the past, usually when having to justify myself to someone who is being unpleasant about bisexuality. It was pointed out on the previous LGBT thread that this is actually not a very nice thing to say, because it's basically a put-down of everyone who's not bisexual. Can anyone think of a way of getting across that general point without being unpleasant about it?
I love Scotland.
My estranged husband is from there and I've spent some time time there. Yay to you for being in a lovely place!
I can see why people would take that as an "insult", because it's almost like taking the moral high ground, in a way, like one is saying "I care about the person not the body" in a way that somehow makes them superior. If someone wants to take the response that way, then I don't think you can do much to change their minds. It's just that different things turn on different people. Many people are more somatically attached, both by way of self-identification and by way of attraction than psychically/cerebrally/emotively attached. I think it's just a difference of what matters to people and how they view their worlds rather than some kind of binary value system at the core. As long as it has been expressed without some kind of smugness or superiority, maybe explained within a context indicating that neither kind of sexuality is "wrong" or "right" but that some kinds are conventionally acceptable because they are common and some are marginalized, it might achieve better results. Polite is good, but when you're challenging someone's prejudice ("there's only one right way" kind of attitude), you're going to offend that person simply by virtue of disagreeing, I think. Most people don't understand or accept that gender and sexuality are socially constructed concepts steeped within frameworks of differing values and traditions and that "right" and "wrong" don't quite work, so it's difficult for many people to even hear that distinction. My point is, as long as one isn't deliberately trying to be smug and superior, it doesn't have to be an insulting response because it isn't inherently connected to a value judgment that somatic attraction is somehow inferior.