[FreeBird3]

I want to get married. I'm about to turn 34 years old. I'm the very last one out of my peers to find someone to settle down with. Yep, I'm THAT girl (or I should say woman).

I just started to take my weight loss journey seriously as of 24 hours ago when I took several pictures of myself with my new digital camera and was stunned just how fat I've become over the past few years.

While I am on this weight loss journey, I am also on several on-line dating websites. Truth be told, since I am at my heaviest weight, I do not feel attractive enough to date. However, at the same time, I feel like I'm putting my life on hold UNTIL I lose the weight and I want to avoid doing that because tomorrow is not guaranteed.

If I can find a nice man at my current weight, then at least I know he would like me for ME and not my body. I've read several threads on here of other women finding their husbands at their heaviest weight.

This is my long-winded way of asking you ladies...How do you keep yourself in a positive mindset regarding dating when you do not feel beautiful? When/if I get some men to response to my online dating profile, I wonder if they are just contacting me with the hope that I will give them a little "something something" because they assume I'm desperate due to being fat. I'm not desperate at all, but I am suspcious of a man who finds me physically attractive at my current weight. Any words of wisdom and advice on how to date while being heavy are greatly appreciated!

[Italiannie]

First, Congratulations on beginning your weight loss journey. That is fabulous! Second, you definitely don't want to hold off on life until you lose weight. Enjoy each day, because the journey is what gets you to the end.

I would advise you to make sure you feel good about yourself and do everything in your power to boost your self confidence, so that you are attracting the type of individual you deserve. Don't let your self worth be based on either your weight or your relationship status and you'll be fine.

Good luck and have fun!

[sontaikle]

Originally Posted by FreeBird3

...How do you keep yourself in a positive mindset regarding dating when you do not feel beautiful?

Well...you can't. You need to learn to love yourself before you start a relationship.

You also have to realize that being thin and being beautiful do not go hand in hand.

You gained weight...so what? Does that make you less of a person all of a sudden? Nope! You are a person and you are totally and utterly WORTH IT and deserve to feel beautiful and loved Learn to look past your weight and realize that you can be attractive and alluring despite what the scale says.

I'm not married but I did meet my fiance when I was 200 pounds. He fell in love with me at 200 pounds and is in love with me at 131 pounds. He tells me that when he first saw me he thought I was gorgeous but it was my personality that reeled him in (...the first thing I said to him was that I loved video games ). Whether I'm small or big I am the same person inside and I know that regardless of what I weigh he will always love me. I had other men after me when I was 200 pounds and I think it was because of my personality.

And about those guys who think you're desperate...you'll have to wade through a bunch of frogs before you can find your prince. I had guys proposition me too and it gets annoying and frustrating but they're not even worth your time.

I get more guys after me now that I'm at goal and because I was overweight for most of my life it's pretty easy for me to tell which guys wouldn't have given me the time of day at my starting weight. Now I just flash my engagement ring at them and laugh in their faces. Jerks aren't worth it.