Huge SIGH****( disgusted with myself and rambling) - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

justbeu · 12-08-2011, 01:04 PM

Hi friends,

I am sitting here in my office thinking about the New Year and how I'm going to get through the holidays without gaining weight. I have been going through a very difficult time over the last 4 months and today I have an appoinment with a therapist. 4 months ago, I admitted to myself that I had a problem with alcohol and I started going to AA. I haven't had a drink since. Last month, I quit smoking. I had 1 slip, but haven't slipped since. I am going to a therapist because I think I'm struggling with depression or something. Anyway, yesterday I bought a CD at the Dollar Store that explains the Sonoma Diet. Now that I am approaching 50, I really, really need to get my weight stabalized as I have been a yo-yo dieter from as far back as I can remember. I struggled with bulimia in my late 20's and 30's and had gastric bypass surgery 15 years ago. I'm still 50 lbs over what I should be. I never stopped struggling with binge or emotional eating. It seems I have had some sort of addiction all of my life. I guess that's what I want to address with the therapist. I hope that I can get some answers after all of these years or at least accept that this is the cross that I must carry. We all have them, maybe this is mine.
Was wondering if anyone has been successful with the Sonoma Diet. It looks to be extrememly healthy and that is what I want and need. I just don't know if it would be a waste to purchase the books. Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks!
Gwen

Moondance · 12-08-2011, 01:15 PM

Gwen,
Hugs to you, dear!

I think the title of your post should read "finally loving myself...". What you're doing is difficult and challenging. I admire you for plowing on with what I'm sure will be a difficult path. I don't know anything about the Sonoma diet, but I wanted to encourage you to come here often and post. We're here for you too! Congratulations on some great decisions!

HikingChloe · 12-08-2011, 01:19 PM

Hello there - Moondance is right, negative thought isn't going to be helpful to you.

And I think your therapy and other addiction work will help you get to that place of forgiveness and acceptance. It is so important not to hate or be disgusted with yourself.

I am proud of you. I think you are taking on a lot of health improvements at once and I am hoping they will all start to work together.

I don't know anything about the Sonoma diet either but whatever you chose remember to forgive yourself because I KNOW you are doing the best you can do and you will continue to succeed. You are aware of the changes you want to make and that is a great first step.

berryblondeboys · 12-08-2011, 01:21 PM

I hope some others post who have been ther and worked through the demons, but yes, some people have addictive personalities. Smoking, drinking, eating, gambling, gaming, etc. and trying to address that with a therapist is definitely the right route to go and you should be so proud of yourself for taking that step.

I don't know about the diet, but hope someone can chime in.

ItsMyTurn · 12-08-2011, 02:04 PM

Sorry, not familiar with Sonoma Diet. I do want to say that making improvements on yourself - huge milestone improvements - and getting the help to deal with it all emotionally, is a great step. This is not the time to be disgusted with yourself, but rather to look in the mirror and know you are changing the things that hold you back from being "you". Congrats and best of luck to you

justbeu · 12-09-2011, 10:51 AM

Thank you all for the encouraging, kind words. I did go to the therapist yesterday and she told me that I had a classic case of Clinical Depression. I have every symptom but one and that is iffy. I cried the whole time I was there and explained as much about my 50 year life that I could in an hour. She helped me understand addiction and that this is not my fault. The reason I am struggling so bad with depression now is that I no longer drink or smoke or do any kind of street drugs. All of these addictive behaviors began when I was around 13. My mother was a binge alcoholic and I have a brother who is addicted to Meth. I could go on and on about the issues with my family, but I'm pretty sure you can figure most of this out. Anyway, I'm a little better today. Mostly because I discussed all of this with someone. I am meeting with her again next week and we are going to discuss medication options with my MD. I'm not thrilled about medicine, but I need help.
Thanks so much for listening.

Gwen

ItsMyTurn · 12-09-2011, 11:54 AM

Gwen - I am so glad you are seeing someone who seems to help ease this and understands it, so she can help guide you in doing what is best for your health. I wish you the absolute best in this big endeavour

ThinkinThin5 · 12-10-2011, 05:19 PM

justbeu - I so admire you for having the courage to face your problems and to take the steps to take care of yourself. While it may not seem like it to you I see what you are doing as a form of self-love. You are worth every step you have taken and I hope your therapist and your program can help you move even farther forward in your journey.

Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. Appreciate your strength.