[Leenie]

The website looks GREAT !! Nice and cheery.

Good morning everyone,

How was your weekend. Mine was very nice, I really enjoyed it.

Hugs, bbl

Leenie

[Ruthxxx]

to all my pals. One of these evenings I WILL make it to chat. Remember, I'm old and need my sleep.

[april99]

Good morning

I am up early....for being in the west. I have been feeling pretty good latlely.....it's been 11 days since I went off the Effexor....have had my ups & down in those days...like sore eyeballs,,,,trouble going to sleep....feeling down on & off. I have had quite a few good days since I went off the Effexor.

I have a question....about depression & your birth family....I have 5 sisters & 1 brother....my brother has depression also.....so do others in my family....he told me....anytime you need to talk.....just call me. I noticed that my sisters have been sort of avoided me for the most part since I was so depressed last winter. I found out yesterday....one sister wasn't calling....she told another sister that she didn't want to talk to me .........because I was depressed.....she didn't want to hear about my depression.....I thought you could talk to your family.....maybe not......she told her....she had enough of her own troubles.

There is quite a bit of depression in my family....but I guess there is still the stigma about it......I was feeling good lately.....but I was devastated after I talked to this one sister yesterday.....I live far away from my birth family....wanted to stay connected....but now I am not so sure.

Maybe I am rambling here......I think I will go back to bed.....it is just after 6 A.M. here now.

April

[JudoMom]

Good morning Ladies!

Neat new look to the site!

Leens, how is the Atkins going? I gave up not quite a week ago. Still trying to eat relatively low carbs because I know that is the key for me. I'm going to try and find the South Beach program this week. I miss my fruits too much.

April... I'm sorry you were told what you were told. I have a sister I don't talk to much at all either. I love her dearly, but she wears me out. I'm not saying this is what you are doing, but if I phone her, she thinks "you phoned, you want to listen to me". If she calls, it's "my dime, you're going to listen to me". That's ok, but none of my family can get off the phone! I'm seriously talking about several hours!

She suffers from depression too. I think various people deal with their depression differently. Some can talk about it, some want to talk about, some don't want to talk. And when our own plates are full, it's hard to listen to someone else who is depressed. I know I could NOT deal with her some time back when my own depression was so bad. I didn't talk much about mine - I talked more about things that were happening in my family (particularly our son and his problems/wear tear on us because of it). I saw a counsellor regularly and journalled. I worked really hard not to share things with my own family or extended family because I could see what was happening to my one sister. I love her dearly, I truly do, but that is ALL she talks about. It just gets to be too much for some to handle.

Having said all that, I'm not sure what your situation is. And I don't for a minute mean to imply that this is what you are doing. It's just sometimes we don't think about how things are for other people. We never know what someone else is dealing with in their lives. We also know we all deal with things differently.

Don't let this cause a rift between you and your family. Next time you are talking to them, maybe start off with asking them how they are doing. Finish with talking about something they mentioned and your well wishes for them. Let them know you're hanging in without dwelling on it. Keep your calls short. I bet you'll notice a difference with some of the family members over some time.

*hugs* April

[cathyxxx]

Good Morning Gang!

Website looks great - hope to get sometime later today to look around and see what all is new.

I'm also hoping to go for a walk at noon.

Tip? did you get your South Beach Diet book yet? just wondering what ya think about it? wondering how similiar it is to Sugarbusters? just curious.

Leens, how is atkins going?

Ruthie!!! I miss chatting with ya!!!! good to see ya!

April, I'm glad to hear that you have some good days since going off the effexor. I agree with Judomom's post and was gonna say some of the same things. I have no idea about your family situation, and may be totally off base, but I don't think that people avoid others with depression bec of a "stigma" thing but more along the lines of just not having the time or energy to listen to other people. I would just make a point with those family members or friends to try to talk about other things besides the depression. You know, stay in touch, but don't get into too much with those that can't or won't handle it.

I had a really busy weekend! I'm pooped actually but I'm gonna pretend that I'm not and see what happens. ;-)

later gaters,
Cathy

[Kempyd]

It is Monday again and I an ready for the weekend again. I didn't do a darn thing yesterday so I should be thankful that I am out of the house. I didn't leave yesterday b/c hubby has my ID so I can't go spend any money. I gave it to hime to hold Saturday night and I forgot to get it from him and no he is in Denver. I don't even want to go to the store b/c the day I don't have my id is the day they ask for it. I never carry cash either so it was a spend free weekend.

April I am sorry but I don't knwo what to say about your sister. I am sorry that you had to go through that though.

Judo let me know what you think about the South Beach Diet. I am curiouse to see what the pricipals of that one are. Now that I am on Body Rx I think I will try to complete it b4 I look into any other one. I am hoping that I don't have to b/c this one works so good.

[Leenie]

Hi de ho everyone !

April, I'm sorry your sister feels that way. Some times facing the truth can be one of the hardest things to do. Maybe your sister is depressed and won't admit it. Good thing you have your other siblings to talk to. Not everyone can handle everything. And some times it helps talking to strangers rather than your family, sad but true. I know how hurt you must feel. How about calling her up and getting it out in the open. Ask her why it bothers her that you discuss this...find out the reason b/4 passing judgement. You might be surprised.


Doing okay on Atkins down 5+ (forgot to weigh myself the first 3 days I started OY )... I'm happy w/it so far.

Thanks for asking

[april99]

Thanks for all your comments....ladies....it really does help. The sister that I was talking about had multple myeloma....about a year ago....she had a stem cell transplant....I was there for her.

Last year wasn't a good year medically for my family....one sister had a heart attack last summer....one sister had breast cancer....diagnosed last fall.....went for radiation this year....then there is one brother in law.....he has had non hodgkins lymphoma since 1995.....in the last year....he has undergone extensive chemo....had to have platelets & blood transfusions at least 2 or 3 times in the last 8 months....so they have had a lot to contend with.....I was there for them until last winter. Last winter I was so depressed....I guess I wasn't there for them....there was even a day when I couldn't get out of bed.

Now that I am feeling better...then I hear about why one sister won't call me......I will keep in touch....will try to not talk about the depression.....I was always very sensitive...even when I wasn't depressed.

One thing on a positive note....my DH....speaking of DH.....he has always been there for me 100%....he told me he has been thinking about getting a motor home.....I knew he was.....I used to see him at the computer earlier this year on Google....looking at motor homes.....he asked me what I think of that idea....we would have to use some of our savings.....I told him I would think about it. We had a 5th wheel in the 80's & a motor home in the 90's.....so I do know that kind of life.

It is good to know....after more that 20 years....that a lot of the depression is S.A.D.....through no help of my old family doctor...at least I know the cause.....but it still has to be treated.....I have a new doctor.....so things are looking up.

April

[cathyxxx]

April, just wanted to say that after reading your post that I really understand your hurt feelings better. It is really hard when you have been there for somebody, but then find out that they are not there for you! I am so sorry about that.

Goodness you're family really had a terrible medical year! I sure hope and pray that all of that gets better!

hugs,
Cathy

[april99]

Thanks Cathy....yes.....I have been there for my family in the last year....actually for the last 8 years.....for my brother in law....& my sister....his wife.....throughout the years with his cancer....I forgot to mention....he had a heart attack about 15 months ago.

Well I have my DH & my 3 sons & their spouses.....I told my DH a few minutes ago....that I am finished crying.....it hasn't been 24 hours since my d sister told me these things....now I am going to get on with my life.

Now I am going to go get some groceries....healthy ones....for my eating plan.

April

[JudoMom]

Right on April!!!! And good for you getting a new doctor too!! Know what my old one told me before my depression was diagnosed?

"get away from things" well, I couldn't.. I had to be here 24/7 (except to work) after son's suicide attempt... what a thing to tell someone!

"get out and get some exercise. You need to lose some weight" This was coming from a skinny little thing with no children.

"don't let yourself think that way" ummmmmmm... ok

It wasn't til my counsellor (thank the Lord for her!!) had me fill out a Beck Depression Inventory and I scored "severely depressed" (and was only 1 point away from whatever the next and highest category was) and had me SHOW it to that doctor that anything got done. At the time, I couldn't change doctors as there was a shortage here and no one was taking on new patients.

I have a new doctor now (got on her waiting list two months before she started here). And guess what she has on her desk??????? A SAD light!!!! First thing I noticed when I had my first visit with her!

I sure can understand how you would feel being there for all your family before with their needs, and them not being there for you *hug*. Just remember though, a lot of people do not have the kind of strength those of us with depression have. Depression is NOT a sign of weakness. I truly believe it makes us stronger in many ways, even while we still deal with it.

Kempy, I haven't bought the book yet. I may have to wait for Monday when I'm in the city. Haven't been able to track down a copy in our little city so far.

Cathy.. hope your day is going well!! Yours too, Ruth and Liz!!

Leens! Congrats!!! Keep it up.. err.. down!! You know what I mean!

[liz321]

Been at the local outdoor water park allllllllll day! It was so good! And I packed a healthy picnic lunch for everyone!

I'll read the posts and catch up with everyone!.......but for now HI everyone!

Eliz