PCOS/Insulin Resistance Support Support for us with any of the following: Insulin Resistance, Syndrome X, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, or other endocrine disorders.

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Old 10-09-2011, 06:23 PM   #1  
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Default Help!!! Pcos out of control!!

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I am desperate for help with my pcos it Is destroying my relationship and making everyone else around me miserable. My fiancee says he cant deal with my disgusting symptoms and that i will embarass our son once he starts School. I'm at 260 now at 5'1, have the pcos belly, facial hair, insulin resistance etc! Help! Would do anything ( starving myself doesn't work I've tried it) to be normal and down to 160

Last edited by CyndiM; 10-09-2011 at 06:45 PM. Reason: removed hcg reference
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Old 10-09-2011, 07:25 PM   #2  
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Default Don't give up.

Hi there. I just got diagnosed with PCOS myself last week and I am trying to figure this all out too. The one thing I do know it is impossible to lose weight without being on the pill. The pill helps regulate(not fix) pcos by forcing your body to cycle every month. I know it would be better for it to naturally cycle on it's own but the pill is better than nothing.

How long have you known you have PCOS? Have you tried any diets that have worked? Are you on any meds/suppliments to control it now?
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Old 10-09-2011, 11:04 PM   #3  
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First things First! I would suggest you get checked out by a reproductive endocrinoligst and get a treatment plan. You will lose weight easier once you get your PCOS and IR under control. A diet low in refined carbs will also help you lose weight. There are many diets like Atkins, South Beach diet, low Glycemic, Insulin resistance diet, etc which works well for us PCOS'er... Bottom line is Low Carb!

Secondly, why are you wasting your time with someone who is embarassed of you instead of being concerned for your health. Say if you had breast cancer and needed to have double masectomy, is your fiancee going to be more concerned about your prognosis or the fact that your boobs are going to be gone?? You deserve someone who will support you through your illness instead of obsessing about your chin hair.

My ex, whom I had been trhough thick and thin for 8 years, cheated on me and dumped me saying that I had become too fat.. My PCOS got out of control and I balloned from 120lbs to 150lbs in a month, which is hardly overweight for my height. It killed my self-esteem. I doubted if I'd ever meet someone who would love me when someone who'd known me for more than half my life found me so unlovable.

Sure enough, I met my husband. He stood by me and never said a single negative thing when I balloned upto 165lbs when the doctor put me on steroids. He has never said anything to date about me shaving my chin every morning. He was always there to wipe my tears and tell me that I was beautiful no matter what.

Us PCOS'ers really need no help in the low self-esteem department. But having a supportive spouse makes dealing with PCOS a tad bit easier. You deserve better Peacegirl!
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Old 10-10-2011, 01:01 AM   #4  
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I'd say your fiance's lack of support is what's destroying your relationship. Perhaps you could invite him to visit your doctor so he can get a better idea of what's going on. Telling you that you'll embarrass your son is messed up. That isn't a reason for him to nag you. If it bothers him so much, tell him to pay for laser hair removal.

Starving won't help with weight loss or PCOS. Try eating more protein (lean meats, eggs, nuts), good fats (olive oil, avocados, flax seeds), veggies, fruits, and whole grains. Eat less processed "food" and less food with added sugar. There are books about PCOS at my library; you might want to check at your library. You can also see if they have books about the various low carb diets.

I second finding a professional who knows about PCOS. I get that from my CNFP, but a reproductive endocrinologist would be a good bet. And have them smack your fiance on the head with some good information. Maybe go to couples counseling if he persists in bringing you down.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MegFromOhio View Post
The one thing I do know it is impossible to lose weight without being on the pill.
That's not true. I lost about 20 lbs by doing the South Beach Diet. Cutting refined carbs and sugar helped me a lot. After that, I went on metformin and lost another 30. My doctor recently prescribed the pill for my excess hair. I haven't taken it yet, but I don't think it's vital for me to lose weight.

I'm not saying that's how it is for everyone, but it is possible for women with PCOS to lose weight without the pill.
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Old 10-10-2011, 01:06 PM   #5  
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I agree the problem with your Fiance is much more than just your symptoms. In fact, I would argue his lack of support and even hurtful comments are part of the problem. Women with PCOS have to be careful of their stress levels because we can add weight on just by looking at cake, not sleeping well, being too stressed out, and all of that...

There are a number of great books and links out there that can help you.

Typical diets don't work on women with IR/PCOS because of our body chemistry. The best way to approach PCOS, in my opinion, is to develop a low glycemic diet that work for you, preferably filled with whole foods.

If your PCOS symptoms are severe, then getting treatment through BCP (which can help your periods if you have endometriosis or never ending periods), spirolactone which can help your hair problems although not recommended for women who might get pregnant, metformin to help with your blood sugar levels, and exercise, which will help your depression and overall health.

Food has to become your medicine to help treat PCOS. You have to start focusing on yourself, not on your unsupportive Fiance, because you do have a child that you have worry about. You need to be in the best health possible for him! It won't do for you to get so unhealthy you pass away prematurely!!!!!!

And you do have to treat yourself, because you're on the path to getting sicker. PCOS has all these side effects, but a greater side effect is diabetes and cardiovascular disease. Those can actually kill you. Having a little hair on your chin will not, even if your fiance is being evil about that.

Lastly, starving yourself is the WORST thing you can do for weight loss with PCOS/IR. You need to focus on eating regularly, to keep your blood sugar stable. You need to eat healthy (whole foods with lots of fiber), because you want to avoid the spikes in blood sugar.

Get yourself to a reproductive endrocrinologist as soon as possible!

Books: http://www.amazon.com/PCOS-Books-You.../13W3WZPSCX6MU

Mary's PCOS FAQ: http://pcosfaq.com/

(3FC for support, of course!)
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Old 10-11-2011, 10:32 PM   #6  
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Quote:
Hi
I am desperate for help with my pcos it Is destroying my relationship and making everyone else around me miserable. My fiancee says he cant deal with my disgusting symptoms and that i will embarass our son once he starts School. I'm at 260 now at 5'1, have the pcos belly, facial hair, insulin resistance etc! Help! Would do anything ( starving myself doesn't work I've tried it) to be normal and down to 160
I think Fiancee's attitude needs adjusting. Because THAT is more destroying to a relationship than chronic illness. You RELATE to him and he to you. Illness, that gets managed. But you don't have "relationships" with it.

My then BF now DH? He's been on almost the WHOLE ride with me. We met when I was around 160 and 18 on 5'8". He's seen me up and down, and thru a high risk pregnancy. I'm at my highest now in the 270's. And never once have I felt unloved, unsexy, unwanted or shamed.

Next, take a deep breath.

Check out the inciid faq.

Get a good dx to see which type you are. We come in at least 5 types. Each type can take a different attack approach.

Check Mary's PCOS treatment faq.

Def look at your diet and exercise see where than can take some changes. If you like need basic guidelines or like exchanges, here's suggestions.

If you need more help, we're here!

GL!
A.

Last edited by astrophe; 10-11-2011 at 10:34 PM.
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Old 10-12-2011, 11:22 AM   #7  
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Thank you all so much for the helpful words and support. It's hard because I do love him, we have an almost two year iPod together and he was wonderful to me at one point in time. Now he thinks he is justified in emotionally abusing me because of my pcos.I work a hard shift at a stressful bank from 3pm-11pm, while he doesn't have snob, claims that my issues make him too depressed to find work ( he has a degree in engineering and could make a lot of money like I was when we met).
I don't have insurance since I'm contracting and we struggle and are always 1000 dollars short on bills every month. Can't afford the Mede I need and dont eat much ( no money yet I may make 2 dollar too much to get food stamps)ughh, yet still maintain high weight.
Tried lazier when we were better off and it didn't work. I did lose 7 pounds in the past few weeks though, not that anyone can tell,not sure how
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Old 10-12-2011, 11:24 AM   #8  
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IPod= son
Snob=job
Lazier=lazer

Stupid iPad autocorrect
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Old 10-12-2011, 12:47 PM   #9  
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That boy needs to step up and be a man. I can't believe he treats the mother of his child with such utter disrespect and I hope you find it within yourself to stand up to him. Sorry, rant over.

Many women with PCOS have success with very low carb diets. I am one of them. 80% fat is what I aim for, an keep carbs under 5%. Your mileage may vary, but once you get over the carb withdrawal period it is super easy, no counting and you can tweak it further as you go along figuring out what you can tolerate. Cutting out dairy and grains is something I recommend to everyone, just to see if it helps. Unfortunately many people have an intolerance to grains and never know why they feel so crappy.
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Old 10-12-2011, 03:47 PM   #10  
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When I first started my PCOS journey I was a broke college student with no insurances. I didn't know what the heck was wrong with me, I just knew SOMETHING was wrong. And I could not afford to see an endless doc parade and in the early 90's there wasn't as much info online.

I made up my mind that while I had to wait to be in a better position to seek a dx, I could do the small things I could do. So I started walking and swimming in the apartment pool. That was free. And I started reducing my animal foods -- not only are those more expensive, those also have a higher hormone load. And eating more produce wasn't going to kill me. So less animal food so when I got it I could get better quality that was hormone free, more produce, less junk. I did not have a scale so I don't know how heavy I was but I was a size 22. I got down to a size 14... still with no dx.

I married spouse at the time we did so I could get on his insurance as his wife. Then I started seeking the dx.

So don't lose heart for yourself. You can still do some things for your self care even if you have to hang on a bit on the dx front.

For him? He needs to straighten up. Your having PCOS is NOT a reason for being disrespectful to his partner!

Metformin in my area is free. So if you are one of the PCOS/IR people and need that, it can be very low cost. When we were broke students we both went to Planned Parenthood for basic health care needs like a physical, birth control, etc.

I continue with BCP just to keep me more stable. Off it I am terrible. I know it isn't a cure for PCOS, but for my plan it helps some. I don't want to be on it forever, but in those broke years, being more stable with my moods and making sure no kids popped up by mistake was crucial. We could not afford more responsibilities or mouths to feed!

You may want to consider reducing grains in your diet -- I know that is hard when the cheapest foods are grain based -- bread, rice and pasta and all. For some PCOS people changing to brown instead of white is enough to regain control. For others limiting ALL the grain food down has to be considered. But see where you can shop and cut corners in the budget. Buy in bulk. Crockpot, freeze -- where you can cook more efficiently. Take a good multivitamin. That's not expensive to do. Skip junk food, sweets, sodas. Have more water to drink. Plain unsweet tea.

You know how to do it. Really. You might not know ALL the PCOS nutrition stuff, but the simple obvious stuff like that you know how to do and you CAN do.

If he is actually depressed, get him to a doc for his depression.

If he's just using your PCOS to cop out, have a serious talk about finding job. And cutting out the blahblahblah about it.

If he doesn't shape up, consider your next steps. Because if he does not respect you and is rude to you now, with PCOS? If the magic cure came tomorrow and none of us had PCOS any more? It isn't about the PCOS. It is about his lack of respect and manners.

I don't know either of you well, and I'm hoping this is a couple spat you can work through, and you will both be in a healthier relationship balance.

But if there's more to this story (and you do not have to share it here), and this bad behavior is CHRONIC and he always treats you bad? Know there are other resources out there for you.

http://speakoutloud.net/wp-content/u...urphy-2010.pdf

This month is domestic violence awareness month. Emotional abuse is real abuse and it "counts" as hurtful. Check the list for other red flags.

GL!
A.

Last edited by astrophe; 10-12-2011 at 03:53 PM.
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Old 10-14-2011, 08:21 AM   #11  
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i don't mean to sound rude because your fiance sounds like a clown. you have an illness and he is complaining about your symptoms? if he had any illness he wouldn't want someone talking about how he looks due to the illness.

your PCOS is the least of your problems. PCOS can be treated but unfortunately men like that cannot be. you don't need negativity like that in your life.

as for weight loss with PCOS you can lose it with a diet low in carbs and strength training exercise regime like Pilates.

at the time i kinda agree with the poster who said you cannot lose weight without BCP. When I was on BCP I lost about 18lbs without even trying that hard. But soon as i went off of it the weight came back and now my periods are irregular again.
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Old 10-14-2011, 09:41 AM   #12  
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So I guess I need to back on bcp any ideas for which one?
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Old 10-14-2011, 10:10 AM   #13  
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That is up to you to consider with your doc. Here is some info.

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/pcos...ills-pcos.html

I happen to be on ortho-cyclen.

A.
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Old 10-14-2011, 01:38 PM   #14  
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I was most recently on reclipsen stopped taking it cause it made my moods crazy
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Old 10-23-2011, 08:03 PM   #15  
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Yasmin (in my opinion) is the best choice for pcosers. But everyone's body is different.
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