It just astounds me how insensitive some people can be when it comes to weight struggles. I honestly just don't get what is so hard to understand. EVERYONE struggles with something and has something in their life that they don't control perfectly whether that is their food intake, their budget, their cleanliness, their organizational skills, whatever. It's part of being human, we all have different struggles and part of personal growth is to learn how to deal with them. So why is weight loss any different?
Over the past two days I've been forced to talk about my weight loss in public (something I rarely do). Once was at a doctor's visit where it came up and the other was at a lunch with coworkers. DH works with me and has just started calorie counting and was talking about his success with that. One colleague felt it was appropriate to ask me if I was going to pick up DH's habits too (note DH had not mention ANYTHING about me or my eating habits during this conversation).
Between those two conversations I've been asked:
1. If I lost the weight with diet pills and if I was starving myself (the doctor kept harping on this like he didn't believe me when I said no!).
2. I'm still upset about the ASSumption that it was OK to ask me if I was going to START a diet (after already losing 60lbs, thank you very much).
3. Once I did say how much I've lost it was immediately blown off as "just baby weight" (yeah, my kid is almost 3 so you better believe me I earned every pound that I've lost!).
4. Why did't you notice that you're gaining weight? (This was actually asked to my DH. In principle it's a somewhat valid question but the tone and assumptions behind it really upset me)
5. Did I bother to exercise? (Um... I can deadlift 100lbs, thank you very much).
6. We were told that sugar "is not the problem". Thanks but I'm pretty sure DH and I know our bodies well enough to know what affects us and what doesn't. Especially since we've both been successful in losing weight.
And this ladies and gentlemen is why I NEVER bring up weight loss with other people. I really only talk about it with DH and my best friend. Granted, with health professionals it comes up and my family occasionally asks when they see pictures of me but I avoid getting into details with them.
It gets me extremely annoyed with how insensitive people can be if they haven't BTDT. Everyone who was involved in these past two conversations had never struggle with their weight so to them it really was a foreign concept.
Now, I suppose, in a way, it's GOOD to have these conversations because it helps people to understand what we are going through and hopefully be a bit more compassionate in the future. But it's still frustrating and just because I've lost a significant amount of weight, sometimes I don't want to be the poster child of weight loss. Sometimes I just want people to treat me equally and NOT ask me out of the blue if I'm going to go on a diet. Now that all of my work collegues are aware of what I've lost I'm a bit paranoid that they're going to be watching my eating habits like a hawk (unfortunately, this has happened in the past).
Ultimately, this is why I come to 3FC. It's nice to be able to talk to others who have similar struggles even if we all go about it in a different way. I can't imagine what I would do without the support here because I find conversations where I have to defend my diet and exercise routine extremely exhausting and annoying.
ETA: I should clarify. I would have a VERY different opinion if someone noticed my weight loss and genuinely asked me how I did it. I'm 100% OK with that. What bugs me is all the assumptions on how I did it.