I've been overweight since I was 11 and I was always complaining about being fat and ugly for years. When I went to Uni at 18, I decided that I have had enough of the complaining and joined the gym. I was going on holiday to America, so it was a goal. I worked out, lost weight then as soon as I got to America I gained all the weight back on.
Happened again the year after, I was running 3 times a week for my holiday to Italy. I lost a lot of weight, but 2 weeks in Italy messed that up for me. I entered my 3rd year at Uni, ate terribly, slacked on exercise and I gained all the weight back on and then some. Then I went to America after graduating, gained MORE weight and that's where my 193 lbs is from. Could have even reached 200 lbs at some point but I feared weighing myself.
So this is my third time trying to lose weight, and it really is lucky! Here are my thoughts on staying with it: You have to want this. You can't just say "Oh, well, I would like to lose weight, it would be nice to look good for ___" you have to want it and NEED it and FOCUS on it. Without determination, focus and dedication - you're going to fall off at the tiniest hurdle.
You're putting a lot of pressure on yourself it sounds. You've got a wedding, you've got a party, you don't want to spend time at the gym because it gets in the way of your family...you need to re-evaluate things a bit here. You need to lose weight to be healthy and happy. There's no time limit on that. Sure, I would love to be in the Healthy BMI zone when I see my BF next, but I don't HAVE to be there for it to be special or for me to look good - I'll get there when I get there. So go at your own pace, there are no deadlines, you haven't failed if you don't lose 2 lbs a week.
Also, the time thing - make the time. You can do a hardcore workout in 20 minutes. There are lots of circuit training type programmes that have you busting your balls for 20 minutes and it will work you good. Healthy eating should never be considered a diet, it should be what you eat every day for the rest of your life. Replace white bread with brown bread, get rid of soda from your kitchen, stock up on vegetables and fruit, get in with the good stuff! We all have a treat once in a while, ****, I had a cheeseburger myself 2 days ago! I had a giant Mexican meal a month ago, but I'm still going!!
To conclude this rambly post, I stick to my weight loss because there's nothing more that I want than to be healthy. I'm fed up of the lack of confidence, I'm fed up of being overweight, I'm fed up of the complaining, I'm fed up thinking "oh look at her, she's so thin, I wish I looked like her," I'm fed up of this life! I want to be healthy, happy and confident, and I want nothing more than to see me in the healthy BMI zone - something I've never seen in my adult life. I'm looking forward to meeting her! And I'll stop at nothing to get there.
Goal 1: Halfway point to borderline Overweight/Healthy BMI~ 165 lbs
Goal 2: Weight when I was 17 ~ 159 lbs
Goal 3: Borderline Overweight/Healthy BMI ~ 150 lbs
Goal 4: Lightest weight ever! ~ 148 lbs
Goal 5: Lighter than Boyfriend ~ 145 lbs
Goal 6: Halfway point to Healthy BMI ~ 140 lbs
Final Goal: Midpoint of healthy BMI range (21.6) ~ 130 lbs