I am 40 and I weigh 250 pounds. It's nuts to hear myself say that. I remember 180 and thinking "whoa...do something before it gets out of control" It's out of control, I'm out of control. I have never been taught healthy food habits. My mother was obese...though she has lost a lot of weight. No blame, she was a great mother, but couldn't teach us what she was never taught.
I feel like I am sometimes obsessed with food. Like if I go grocery shopping and buy something particularly yummy to me and that's all I think about until I eat it, or eat it even if I am not hungry, or eat ALL of it when it several portions (like if I don't eat it now it wont be there for me later). It's very embarrassing for me to admit this.
I don't care about my appearance because I have no clothes that fit and don't have the money to buy myself clothes that fit right except for a piece here or there. I think it also stems from the fact that I stay at home and take care of my 4 yr old son (he has some mild special needs issues).
I just stopped caring about myself and I want to start again. I don't want to be disgusted with myself anymore. I want to look how I used to...but I have such a loooong way to go. Oh well, that's me in a nutshell. A kind of rant and not very organized by they are my thoughts as they came to me and I wanted to put them down before I chickened out. I hope to get to know many of you and lean on you for support and get to the point where I feel I have something to offer back to someone in the near future. I guess I will spend some time browsing and try to formulate a plan, figure out how to start become a healthier, happier me. Good night all.