I too am like maripossa. I am a champion at losing weight!! Unfortunately I am champion at gaining weight too! What I fail miseribly at is MAINTAINING weight.
I am scared of regaining anything I have lost. In fact I waited a long time before starting this weight loss attempt because I was scared of the, "what if I gain it all back PLUS more" like I have in the past.
So I looked at where my past weight losses stopped being losses and turned into gains. This is what I discovered.
If I lose weight for a set date (my wedding, a vacation, a class reunion) I will be successful until that date or event. Then I slowly (or sometimes not so slowly) revert to "my old ways".
My most successful weight losses have been when they are medically supervised. When I don't keep my regular appointments, I gain weight. Sometimes I have a valid excuse for missing an appointment. But if I miss more than two consecutive appointment (or go longer than 2 months) I start gaining weight. I guess it's about Accountablity!!
I must plan! Good healthy eating does not "just happen". I have to plan meals ahead of time, I have to figure out what I need for groceries for those meals, AND I have to look at any other outside activities might be going on. This way I know if the meal I had planned can actually be made that day.
So this time I have told myself I am losing weight so I look really good when they bury me. Ok not exactly those words, but I have no "event" that I am losing weight for. There nothing more important than my health. If I am not healthy I cannot take care of the others in my life. I will continue to follow up with my doctor and dietician for the rest of my life.
I will plan. I will plan to plan. I will also execute those plans. Yes life happens, and sometimes things don't go as planned. I have a cheat sheet in my purse. It lists restaurants and meal options that I can work into my plan. If we end up eating out, even at a fast food place (eww) I know I can make a good choice.
I also know one bad snack or meal, doesn't have to lead to a bad day, week or month.
I hope the things I have learned about myself will enable me to continue to lose weight and to maintain that weight loss!
I used to be afraid - terribly afraid. So afraid, that I promised I would never diet again after losing 50 pounds and regaining it all quickly plust 30 pounds more!
And then my health started to deteriorate and I realized that I had to face my fears and just deal with it.
In the meantime, I learned a lot about myself - my triggers, my habits, etc. And I learned what can lead to weight gain and so on.
I figure from on, for the rest of my life, I'll have little ups and down, but I'll keep them little. I know there will always be holidays and vacations to make the scale rise and I'll just have to deal with it.
AND, unfortunately, because I did get so heavy and had to then diet, my metabolism has slowed down, so I will gain more, faster than I did before I lost all this weight... I experienced this first hand with a 14 pound weight gain over 3.5 weeks while we were on vacation. 4 of those pounds left quickly, now I have the rest to relose again - PLUS the 5 pounds I had put in earlier in the summer.
What's different is that this time I knew I was off plan and knew I would have to get back on plan. Just like last December when I decided to go off plan for the holidays. I can deal with gaining and losing 10-15 pounds at a time. I just never want to have to deal with the 100 pounds again. I'm not even there yet and I'm tired - tired of the mental battle.
It's eye-opening to read the statistics about all the weight losers who regain (myself included), but it's not a sentence anyone has to carry.
What I've realized is there's a huge mental difference between most yo-yo dieters and people who stay thin. Overall, most thin people don't eat like most overweight people do (that is, overweight not due to medical reasons). Using myself as an example, I've overeaten to the point of feeling sick COUNTLESS times, and have thought nothing of polishing off an entire box/bag of [insert junk food] in one sitting. For many overweight people like me, overeating is simply a way of life. Most thin people don't - and don't want to - eat like that. I compare it to an alcoholic who drinks beyond enjoyment, and a non-alcoholic who can stop at one or two social cocktails, completely satisfied.
The trick isn't to stay on a "diet" the rest of my life. It's to change my approach to food; to practice common sense and gentle self-discipline in my eating. Once I know the foods and situations that trigger me to overeat, I can avoid them. Good grief - who wouldn't be overweight, the way I've been eating!
Even if it's true that 95% (or whatever such number) regain, it is not a random statistical process - it's not as if no matter what you do, you have a 95% chance of regaining.
What that statistic really means is that 95% of people who lose weight do not manage to continue the behaviors necessary to maintain the weight loss. And the good news is that whether you continue those behaviors or not is entirely up to you. Continue the behaviors, and you get to be one of the lucky people who don't regain.
As FirstLove notes, this requires keeping up a different approach to food than the one that got you fat. In my case, I have a bottomless appetite. The pleasure of eating has very little to do with whether I'm hungry. I know people who stop wanting to eat after they have eaten a reasonable portion, but I am not and will never be one of those people. If there is food available, and it is tasty, I will want to eat it. That is just who I am.
So, maintaining my weight loss will always require a certain amount of discipline, a certain amount of passing up eating opportunities even though they would be enjoyable, a certain amount of telling myself no.
It's not really fair. But then, I have a lot of advantages and blessings that other people don't have. I know people who are naturally appetite-regulated but struggle with other health problems I don't have to deal with. I know people who are naturally appetite-regulated but are unemployed, or have lost spouses to cancer, have children with severe behavioral problems, and so on. There are naturally appetite-regulated people who live in poverty, who live in war zones, or who lack the personal freedoms I have.
I'm getting a little hyperbolic with my comparisons, but you see what I am getting at - nobody's life is easy. We all have different burdens to bear. Not being a naturally appetite-regulated person is one of mine - it means I'll always have to work a little harder to stay trim than someone else might. But on the scale of things, that's not such an awful problem to have.
Last edited by carter; 09-17-2012 at 12:37 PM.
Reason: late-breaking typos!
great thread, Guac, you may be in the 5% that doesn't regain, maybe noticing what has happened to others and asking the question will help your resolve to adhere to your maintenance program.
Maybe 3FC is helping to make the statistic 10% instead of 5% by all of us sharing our stories.
I remember thinking, I'm a skinny person now, I don't have to worry, but some change, in my first regain it was not jogging 3 miles a day, but still consuming like I was.
This last one was from a job change, hour and a half commute, but now I realize it wasn't the job it was me not making my health the priority it should be. I'm stubborn on a lot of things, so why not be stubborn about making sure I get in the number of steps I set as a goal for myself, making sure I stay on program.
My plan for the future it when I get to my WW goal weight to start going to meetings monthly, I'm a lifetime member, so for me you'd think it's a no-brainer, if I get to goal I have a free support system, I guess I had to get to a "certain age" to be wise enough to see that.
I've come to the realization that in order for me to maintain not regain, I've got to keep on doing the things I've done to lose the weight in the first place. That means calorie counting, journaling my food consumption, and always having a physical challenge in place (currently training for my first half marathon). As soon as I stopped doing those things in January of this year, I started to slip back into old bad food habits (emotional binge eating), and of course saw the scale go up. I was able to nip it in the bud, but not after going up past my maintenance weight cushion.
I've had so many people tell me that I can now eat the dessert or that I don't need to exercise any more now that I've lost the weight. I can't listen to that awful advice because that's not the way it works; in order to maintain, it has to be a life-long change of habits, that I hope will one day be more natural to me than the urge to eat, eat, eat. I've come to terms with the fact that I am a recovering food addict, and that I may never be able to have "just one drink". I've found foods that I enjoy and don't make me feel deprived, and can happily eat over and over for years to come.
I've come too far to fail. Now that I've shown my children a healthy lifestyle of proper eating and exercise, how can I ever let myself go back? I don't ever want to disappoint myself, but I never want to be a bad example to them. One of my greatest fears is for them to have to struggle with weight the way I have.
I've been on the scale roller coaster way too many times to count. I don't know how to explain it other than I just get lazy. Or maybe just sick of dieting? I don't think I've been able to maintain the mindset of it actually being a lifestyle change. Especially with the exercise. For some reason I have always just hated it.
my brother had a book a long time ago, the guy, I can't remember his name, he was a doctor, recommended slow burning carbs like sweet potatoes, peas, etc. instead of fast burning like white potatoes, etc. anyway he said to try and find an activity that to you is like play, bike riding, swimming, playing frisbee maybe, gardening, walking around the mall window shopping, tennis.
I've been on the scale roller coaster way too many times to count. I don't know how to explain it other than I just get lazy. Or maybe just sick of dieting? I don't think I've been able to maintain the mindset of it actually being a lifestyle change. Especially with the exercise. For some reason I have always just hated it.
Ditto!! With my track record, there is no reason to think I can ever keep the weight off. I've gained and lost over the years. This is my 3rd major diet.
I don't like exercise. I'd rather watch TV than jog. I'm exercising now, though. Even though I love what it's done to my body, and even though I just feel better mentally because of it, I'd stop doing it in a heart beat. No problem.
I love being skinny. Yet somehow I manage to gain it back. Why? Lazy. Sick of dieting. Just like what you said.
I've done this 3 times. Each time I gained more and had to lose more. I did it in my 20s. My 30s and now my 40s.
I'm determined, determined, to not repeat this roller coaster craziness every decade.
The first time, I lost the weight and then I went on to have 4 children. OK. I can understand that. After my 4th child, I gained a total of around 40 pounds and I felt like a heifer. The second time, I don't have a good excuse as to why I gained it back. And I piled another 40 pounds on top of that.
My biggest mistake was thinking I could do it without a scale. Thinking I could go by the fit of my clothes, and avoiding seeing actual numbers. I didn't even own a scale until I lost weight in my 30s, and then when it broke, I never replaced it. One way I will keep the weight off is to never be without a scale. I will continue to weigh myself at least once a week after I've reached maintenance, if not more. I sure admire anyone who won't be a "slave to the scale" and who are able to maintain or even lose without the use of hard numbers. Me, I think I will always need to have that tool to lose/maintain.
Mistake #2 was just being lazy. I can remember my pants getting tighter around the middle and even saying out loud, "ugh, I'm gaining weight. I need to go back on my diet" and then never going back on my diet. It was work. I was lazy.
And it crept back on so slowly, and I felt so bad about myself.
Like I said, I'm determined never do this again, ever. I know what I did wrong before and I won't repeat it!
This is a really interesting thread with some great comments. I just joined this site because after losing 60 lbs in 2009, I've been fighting the battle of maintenance, and... well... losing. I rallied a couple times and made and effort to get back down to my goal weight, but never got all the way there and after each effort I gained a little more.
Recently I've been really noticing how dissatisfied I am with the fit of my clothes (those that still fit), and after avoiding it for too long, finally stepped on a scale to see what the damage was. I'm up 19 lbs. Not the end of the world, but I don't want to keep going that direction, and I don't want this to be another short lived rally. I'm still trying to figure out what will make this time different.
I think one of the big challenges in moving from weight loss to maintenance was not having the short term goals and benchmarks to work toward and then celebrate. Fitting into that pair of pants, or hitting that next 5 lb interval. With out those little steps motivating me, I slacked off.
Also, as someone else already mentioned, the external pressure to STOP DIETING was huge. I had someone tell me on at least a daily basis that I was too thin and should eat more. I think the biggest issue though was that even at my goal weight, I was disappointed that I didn't look better. All that work, and I had saggy skin and a flat butt, and well... it wasn't very motivating.
People told me I shouldn't get rid of all my old clothes because I would need them when I gained the weight back. I swore I never would and got rid of everything that was too big. And yeah, I kind of wish I had more clothes that fit me right now, but I wouldn't have done it differently.
So, in answer to the original question, YES! I am very afraid I will gain it all back, but right now I'm trying to use that fear to motivate me to do something now and keep that from happening. We don't gain it all back overnight.
the last time I kept only one pair of pants that was my biggest size, then when I gained back they were so holey, not holy, that I couldn't wear them, now I'm on the downward slope and my pants are getting to the (TMI alert..lol) point that I went in the bathroom and didn't realize until I was sitting there that I had pulled my pants down without unbuttoning, was thrilled but had to finish P-ing to tell DH...lol
anyway, my point is no matter how many times I gain weight something makes me try one more time to lose it again, of course "this time" I'm hoping is the last time, but if it's not then I'll try again...
I don't really think it is necessarily about getting lazy, though. I mean, sure there are times that I do feel lazy. Skinny people feel lazy sometimes, too. I'm pretty sure of that. I think there are just some people for whom it will always be a struggle. Think Oprah, Kirstey Alley, Delta Brooke...etc. even with money, trainers, better food options, more advantages, it is still a struggle for them. AND, when you have to really fight to maintain...well, sometimes you might get tired of fighting. I'm pretty sure I am that type of person who will always have to fight the good fight and work really hard...stay on the straight and narrow. etc.
Life is just not always conducive to that because at some point you are bound to come to a pass where there is another bigger struggle and sometimes it might win. You might have to fight something else or something bigger than just the weight. It could be for example a disease, a death of someone close, job loss, divorce, a sick child, or worse. If it was easy, everybody would be skinny. It may not be easy...but, it is worth fighting for...for as long as I can or until I find myself looking in the face of a bigger or more important battle. So yeah...I guess I believe it is a very real possibility that I might not make it to the elusive 5%; but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna give it my best effort. Somebody has to make it to the top 5%.
Last edited by mariposssa; 09-27-2012 at 03:13 AM.
