I fear being the "overweight" couple as me and my husband get older. Im also afraid i will start accepting myself at this weight. then another 10 pounds willpile on.. then I'll accept myself at that weight..
I have cellulite from my knees to mystomach. it just disgusts me... yet I still eat sweets and junk food
- I am afraid my boyfriend will stop loving me if I don't lose weight.
- I am afraid to get on the scale to start this journey so I relying on my WII fit to tell me when I lose weight - hence no beginning weight in my profile but I am guessing 168 and I am 5'5.
- I am afraid what my family will think when they see me at a reunion.
- I am afraid of buying clothes and what size they could be.
- I am afraid of looking at myself in photos.
- I am afraid this time I won't be able to lose my weight or keep it off.
- I am afraid of buying a swimsuit.
Wow I am afraid of a lot - this was a good exercise for me. Thanks!
I'm horrified by how much I think about food. It's constant!
I'm either concentrating on NOT eating or on what I CAN eat or MIGHT eat
I'm horrified that my 13-year old is overweight and I don't know what to do...
I'm horrified when look at him.
I don't keep bad food in the house and he doesn't eat large amounts of food!
So I feel angry and helpless
If one more person tells me he'll have a growth spurt soon I'm going to scream
I confess I quit counting calories and coming onto 3FC because I just can't make myself do it consistently--I almost didn't post on here because I felt like I couldn't be bothered.
I confess there are so many glimpses of myself in these confessions, and I can't make myself try to recount them all because I just can't be bothered, lol!
I confess that I am afraid I will never reach my goal. I got within 5 pounds and stopped counting calories and started cheating all the time.
I confess that I'm worried I will keep creeping back up the scales (I'm about 7 pounds over the lowest I've seen, and I actually saw a few pounds higher than I am now at 156).
I confess that I think my arms and shoulders have great muscle definition and I love wearing sleeveless tops/dresses (I hated my flabby arms before I lost weight, so never wore them); and I confess that my body looks better than I'd expected it would when I lost weight, except for my stomach, which I can't seem to get rid of.
I confess that I compare myself to other women, and even if they are thinner in the waist, I often think I have better arms and legs (how vane am I!).
I confess that I very often give thanks for having acheived my weight loss when I see overweight people.
I confess that I feel like it's so unfair that I have to work so hard to maintain, much less lose weight, when others seem to be able to eat so much more food and much less healthy food than I do without gaining.
I confess that I am very judgmental of the food other people eat ("garbage" or "crap" is what usually goes through my head).
I confess that I am very lucky in my job to be surrounded by an abundance of healthy, whole, unprocessed food all the time (and yet, portion control is always an issue).
I confess I was afraid I would fail if I tried to lose weight (still afraid, but finally trying)
I confess I don't have many new clothes because I hate shopping for clothes and seeing myself in the mirror.
I confess I turn down social invitations because I don't want old friends to see how fat I have gotten.
I confess I stopped playing with my kid at the playground etc because I am so fat it is uncomfortable to run.
I confess that I have lied to myself about how much I was eating (and everyone else)!
This is a really good thread! My secret confessions:
~ I fear that I will never be (or stay) thin. This is my 3rd major diet since I was in my 20s. I'm always successful, but end up gaining it all back, and more.
~ I fear I will feel superior to fat people once I'm thin, because I feel so inferior to thin people when I'm fat. I don't want to look down upon or be prejudiced against fat people.
~I compare myself to others constantly. I'm so much more aware of the weight of those around me than I used to be.
~I compare myself to other mens' wives. Am I the thinnest (therefore the prettiest, and most attractive)?
~ I scan a room to see if I'm the fattest person there, or how I compare to the other women there.
~ I don't mind standing out as the only thin person in a room, but I hate being the fattest.
~ I fear my children will become fat. My younger son eats and eats, and we used to make a big deal out of it, which made him proud and eat more. "Oh my gosh, do you have a hollow leg?" "Wow, I can't believe how much that kid can put away!" But I noticed he was getting pudgy and told my husband we need to curb the comments. I don't want him to eat a lot to impress us. I want him to eat a lot if he needs to, and eat less when he doesn't.
~ I love the fact that I'm thinner than my sister, who was always thinner and prettier than me growing up.
~ I love the fact that out of my family, I'm one of the thin ones.
~I love the fact that out of those who have openly talked about losing weight, or who have actively dieted, I'm the one who has been successful.
~ I spent so many years as the fat friend, I relish the idea of being the thin one.
~ I fear I will never be thin enough to attract the attention of men. I'm married and I don't need the attention of other men, but I can't help but feel flattered if I'm noticed. I hate this about myself.
OK, we all want to feel attractive and there is nothing wrong with getting attention from men. You may be married, but you aren't dead. I love the attention that I receive. It's flattering, makes me feel good and motivates me to look my best.
~ I confess that I have used my fat as armor in the past (so men won't find me attractive) and as I drop weight and more of them actually notice me, it makes me feel vulnerable.
~ I confess that I HATE social functions with food/alcohol involved (almost all of them).
~ I confess that I am terrified that my beautiful healthy Tween daughter will suffer from my weight/self esteem issues (it all runs in my mother's family).
~ I confess that it ticks me off how few people have complimented me on how I look now & I HAVE LOST 67 LBS since JANUARY!!! (Further proof that people don't "see" fat middle-aged women).
~ I confess that I hate it when two of my tiny friends complain about how hard it is for them to keep weight ON when they are stressed/depressed (STFU skinny girls - no one leans away from YOU when you walk behind their chair)!
~ I confess that I want my weight loss to "re-ignite my love life" (been happily married for 16 years, but I want my hubby to "lust" after me again...& be more verbally affectionate) and I am frustrated that it doesn't seem to be happening.
~ I confess that I am terrified about my ability to maintain a healthy weight -have been in a gain/loss cycle my whole life.
Phew! - Now, with my fears acknowledged, I face the day knowing that THEY DON'T CONTROL OR DEFINE ME!
My confession:
I feel like the good part of my life is over (and it wasn't very good).
I sometimes feel like it really wouldn't change my life if I lost weight (healthy doesn't seem like much fun).
Who wants to live forever if you can't enjoy yourself while you are here? (eternal misery).
Sometimes I feel like I am sacrificing myself to punish my husband. He has made my life **** and does not deserve a skinny-hot wife. I confess to eating more in front of him just to make him mad.
I will never look good in a swimsuit or even be able to wear shorts again. If I lost weight; I would have so much stretched out (and stretch marked) skin that I would NEVER have the confidence to wear either.
I just feel like I am too old to have weight loss do me much benefit (I will be skinny for menopause? really? that thought will keep me off a treadmill).
I confess that I'm afraid I will give up part way into this journey, which is why I haven't picked a goal weight (I'm 184 right now, down from 188 a few weeks ago. I was 150 about 10 years ago, and happy with it.)
I confess that I feel superior to my friends when I can stick to my calorie counting and lose weight (this come from my disordered eating in my early 20s when not eating was my pride. Maybe my friends were happy and dating but at least I had visible hip bones! So sad.)
I confess that I hate running. And am jealous of my friends who run fast and love it.
I confess that I used my fat as a bubble for the last few years. I stopped being attractive to men and being "pretty" and it was a nice rest. I became invisible.
I confess that I sometimes wonder "if this is so easy, why did I wait so long to do it and what was I eating before?!"
-I confess that I am really pissed at myself for failing to get to a normal BMI already. Every time I get close to that magic number of 149, I sabotage myself with bad eating and the numbers climb back up again or plateau.
-I confess that I still feel too fat to see people who haven't seen me since before I became obese. I feel like I have to be at my goal weight before I can face people who knew me when...
-I confess that I fear I will never be "thin enough" or "fit enough."
-I confess that I fear the saggy overhang of fat/flesh/stretch marks on my lower abdomen will always be there unless I get a tummy tuck, which I can't afford and probably would be too embarrassed to get even if I could (vanity is frowned upon and ridiculed to an extent in my community/family). So, even after losing weight, I will still only like my appearance wrapped up in Spanx and figure flattering clothing - I will still feel ugly and self-conscious naked.
-I confess that I fear the big reactions I am getting from some people over my weight loss - both because big loud exclamations embarrass me and remind me how fat I used to be and also because it makes me afraid that I might not be able to hang onto my weight loss - and then I will be really embarrassed because everyone will know that I have failed.
-I confess that I don't always believe I will manage to get to my goal weight, even though I now have a track record of success. It still seems so far away.
-I confess that I feel like a complete failure when the scale goes up a few pounds - even if it is during PMS or TOM - I usually avoid the scale during this time just so I don't get discouraged.
My quit smoking day is june 25th. I am scared that this will sabotage my new healthy lifestyle. I just don't want to go back into bad habits as far as my eating goes. (As if smoking isn't a terrible habit) When I was younger if I put my mind to doing something, I did it. Now I don't feel nearly as ambitious as I used to. My fiance is watching calories and exercising along with me and I am afraid I will let him down. He has more weight to lose and is diabetic. *sigh* but I will still continue to try as hard as I can on eating right, not smoking and exercising. *peace*
I have to say, I've every single post here and every confession - some made laugh, others made me want to cry and many had me nodding my head in agreement! Thanks for sharing, everyone.
Here are some of mine:
I fear that once I hit my goal weight and I have more "free time" to concentrate on something else, that I will instead turn to a different addictive behavior.
I used to daydream about getting into a plane crash, landing on a deserted island, where food was hard to come by, so I would lose weight. Then, after a year or two, I would triumphantly be found and return home as a skinny person.
I also used to fantasize about getting some disease that would rob me of my appetite so I could be thin.
I worry that once I hit goal, the "you've lost weight!" compliments will stop and I will feel invisible again.
I worry that no matter how much weight I lose, I will never truly "feel" like a fit, healthy, thin person.
That I'm still hopeless around junk food and if it's in the house, I WILL eat it and turn into a cookie monster-type creature until it's all gone. Then I hate myself for being so weak.
That I'm scared if my OH and I split up, noone will ever like me like that again because my body is HORRIBLE due to that belly overhang thing that just refuses to go and makes me self-conscious beyond belief! (I know it's stupid, but it's insecurity raising it's ugly head....)
The worst one is that I've found myself getting irritated with friends who go on about wanting/needing to lose weight, but then say let's go to Starbucks for coffee & cake and then tell me "Oh go on, one won't kill you" or "you're becoming such a diet bore" when I say no to the cake or similar. I feel like a horrible person for feeling like that - I'm no better than them just because I managed to dredge up some willpower from somewhere and actually stick to it this time!
Now I want chocolate.....the old me would have had some.
