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Old 08-24-2011, 12:24 PM   #1  
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How do you deal with a weight loss setback. Honestly, I feel like saying screw it and stuffing my face with anything I want. Plateaus are frustrating...I have had times when I was stuck at the same weight for an entire year! As frustrating as that is, it still isn't the same as actually gaining weight.

When I saw how easily the 2 lbs I fought so hard to lose came back, I really became fearful. I now realize how easy it is for all the weight to come back and then some. I'm not sure if I can keep up this fight for the rest of my life - and that's what permanent weight loss entails - a lifelong fight for maintenance even after all the weight is dropped (and I haven't even gotten over that hurdle yet).

Any words of wisdom on how to think positively when you have put back on weight?
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Old 08-24-2011, 01:05 PM   #2  
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I feel ya girl. I was a plateau for about 2 months hanging around 188-192. I have to say maybe it wasnt a real plateau because I know i have been slacking on my calorie counting. So what I did on Sunday was join weight watchers to kick it up! I am soooo excited and have new found motivation. I weighed in at 191 Sunday and am already down to 187 (lowest weight since I started), YEAH!!!

Maybe you need to change it up a little, or try some thing new. I am a vegan, casual calorie counter who exercises daily. I cant explain it but starting something new has really jump started me. Good luck and congratulations on your weight loss so far!
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Old 08-26-2011, 11:12 PM   #3  
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guacamole
Not seeing the scale move can b very very demotivating. Howevery U hv come to far to simply throw n rhe towel now. Think about ways you can tweek Ur current routine tht would get the scale moving again. Super Job at achieving ur current weight you hv moved out of the 200's which I know was not easy.
Maybe juicing or smoothie one or two meals a week.
Good Luck
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Old 08-26-2011, 11:44 PM   #4  
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I think that we're essentially taught to give up, because we're conditioned to see "not losing" or "slow losses," or even having frequent "off-plan, overeating days" as failures so horrible that they're very bit as bad as gaining. We're taught to see these as signs and proof that we're "doomed to failure, so we might as well give up."

I spent 30 years dieting, givingup in frustration and regaining (and repeating the cycle, over and over and over again). Whenever my weight loss would slow to less than a pound a week (and it inevitably did), I'd feel that it was proof that I was never going to reach my goal, and if I was doomed to failure anyway, I might as well spend that failure eating what I wanted to. I'd inevitably gain all the weight back (and some extra to spare) until I was frustrated with my weight and then I'd get back on the diet rollercoaster, only to take the same trip over and over for 30 years.

"This time," has been very different, because I decided that my goal wasn't going to be weight loss, weight loss was going to be my reward (hopefully). My main goal was to add healthy habits that I could envision making forever, even if they resulted in no weight loss. My first goal was to maintain my weight (and each pound I lost, was added to the maintaining). In other words, I vowed "no backtracking - no giving up, EVER."

By my old standards (more than 1 lb per week) I am failing miserably - but I've failed off more than 90 lbs. Yeah, it's taken forever, but I no longer see "not losing" as the dismal failure that was every bit as bad as gaining. Not losing is successfully maintaining.

I think that having maintenance as your first priority means you get to succeed a lot more, and success breeds success. When you're constantly feeling like a failure, and focusing on the failures, you lose your enthusiasm and will to continue. After all, giving up is the logical response to excessive failure. If it can't be done, save your energy and spend it on something that has a chance of succeeding. That's not just logic, that's biology. When you repeatedly fail, you learn "this doesn't work."

The problem with weight loss is we've all been taught that we're failing, when we're really succeeding. We give up because we assume success never deviating from our food plan, no mistakes ever, and at least 2 lbs a week, every week, start to finish. Anything less is dismal failure (which means 99% of us are dismal failures).

That's not what "real success" looks like, but we don't know what is normal or average, because weight loss is still taboo to talk about (and as a result, people lie or hide their actual results because they don't want anyone to know how badly they're failing).

When I griped to my doctor that I was only losing 1 lb a month when I started (I was essentially bedridden, so "sedentary" didn't begin to cover it. Sedentary people were extreme athletes compared to me). I told my doctor "I should be losing at least 1-2 lbs a week like normal people."

My doctor essentially told me "that's complete B.S. - NORMAL people don't lose one pound a week, normal people don't lose one pound a month, normal people don't lose anything, because it's normal to try for only a short time, feel like a failure and give up.

My doctor said that "just not giving up," puts you ahead of almost everyone else. Even my 1 pound per month put me in the lead, because most people don't do even that. And just by deciding not to regain that 1 lb, I would be doing something most people don't do.

I've lost over 90 lbs this way (all at less than 1 lb per month), and I constantly remind myself that I don't want to fall back in this race. I want to at least hold my position. I've lost more than most people do, and I'm not afraid of regaining, because I've stopped looking at "not losing" as failure.

A no-loss week is no longer "failure to lose," it's "succeeding at maintenance."
And while I'm succeeding at maintenance, I might as well try to lose "just once more."

By making weight maintenance my primary goal (and weight loss a minor, secondary goal) I get to succeed a lot more than in the past. And I'm never tempted to give up, because giving up means giving up the success I can keep just by refusing to backslide. I'm no longer a failure at weight loss, I'm a success at weight maintenance. I don't want to give up what I've earned.

Even if I never lose another pound, I can still succeed at maintaining the weight loss I've earned so far. I don't know why I never in 35 years of dieting, didn't consider this before. I always felt that if I couldn't make it to goal, then I should at least get to eat whatever I wanted as a consolation prize. There were too options in my head - being fat and being at goal weight. If I couldn't get to goal, I might as well eat as much as I possible could. Not logical, but it's how we're taught to treat dieting. It's how we see, hear, and read about people doing dieting.

It's absolutely ridiculous, arse-backwards logic, but it's the logic we're taught. It's not impossible to unlearn, but to do it, you've got to remind yourself every day that every pound matters, and failing to lose one week (or one month, or even one year) is no reason to decide that endless eating is the answer.

I don't worry about gaining it back any more. Partially because this is the longest time I've ever, ever gone without a significant regain or significant off-diet time (yes, I've struggled with about 10 lbs, because I can gain 10 lbs just with water weight during my period. And I've had an occasional off-plan days and even off-plan weekends - but I've never taken a longer vacation than that from my efforts. I don't ever let myself think "what's the use," I might as well eat myself to death."

You've got to believe that every pound matters, and be determined to jealously guard every pound, as if you were a dragon hoarding gold - "MINE!"
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Old 08-27-2011, 01:06 AM   #5  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods View Post
By my old standards (more than 1 lb per week) I am failing miserably - but I've failed off more than 90 lbs. Yeah, it's taken forever, but I no longer see "not losing" as the dismal failure that was every bit as bad as gaining. Not losing is successfully maintaining.
That's so smart! I love how you put this!

I think we have periods where our bodies just fight the loss because that's where it wants to be. I'm working on losing this same stupid 10 pounds for the 3rd time, and I'm determined that this will be my last. Ridiculous.

I love jesscobedo's idea of changing things by trying something new. It really is a motivator! Maybe variety is what some of us need. I've been losing quite easily, lately, due to the newness of my weight loss efforts. I've experienced the motivation of something new before, too. I've also slipped back in to that unmotivated place where the weight creeps on and I don't have the motivation to stop it. Horrible cycle.

Just don't give up! Don't go back to that place. If nothing else, just keep in mind that you don't want to do it all over again!
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