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Old 11-05-2010, 08:44 PM   #1
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How many times do I have to start this before I can follow threw and complete. Hi everyone. My name is Bonnie and I have been here many mant times before. I need to get serious and not let stuff nock me out of finishing what I need. Went to look for a pair of jeans the other day and ended up going to good will a size 28 Omg I never thought I would get back this high. I got as far as 245 and gained it all back.
I need to find the line on how to stop by problems from adding to me gaining weight. Right now I have alot of Problems with my children and it is affecting me daily. How do you draw that line. I have done it before I know i can do it again. I will take any advice I can get.....
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Realization is that I am the one who made myself fat! I control what goes in my mouth on a daily bases and now I have to be the one who takes the control !
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Old 11-09-2010, 09:45 AM   #2
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Hi Bonnie,

I don't have a lot of great advice for you, as I obviously struggle with the same issues. I also comfort myself with food when I'm feeling anxious, upset, or angry.. it's a habit that started when I was little. (My mom admits that when I was upset even as a toddler, she could always 'get me happy again' with sweets or some other treat. I really try to not do that with my children today! )

I think it's hardest to start out at a high weight, feeling not good physically, low emotionally.. and then have to put up with life's stresses and not have an outlet (like treats). But after a little while, when you're down 10 pounds or so, then it starts to become self fulfilling because you can see and feel the changes in yourself, and you start to want to continue.. not HAVE to continue, IYKWIM...

So my only advice (which I'm also taking for myself!) is to give yourself the gift of the first 10 pounds. It won't be fun.. you'll be hungry.. but you can do it and the rewards will make a difference in your outlook and affect everything in your life.

How about we work on it together??
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Old 11-09-2010, 01:46 PM   #3
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Hi Bonnie,
I too have dieted so many times I cannot count. I can lose weight, but can't seem to keep it off. I am trying to focus on eating for my health - I know I have my hormones so out of whack from eating sugary processed garbage, and that by eating healthy for a week or two, I will be able to get my cravings under control. I can't say I am hungry, but I really want to eat - a lot! I am so used to eating without exercising any control, and feeling really stuffed, that I guess it's become habit.
Remember, even if you're having trouble with your kids, it's not going to do you or them any good to overeat. Maybe by showing them you can get control in this area of your life, they'll follow suit in whatever their problems are!
Oh, and by the way, don't get discouraged by the size you are - you're a beautiful woman, and you need to love yourself, no matter the size!
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Old 11-09-2010, 02:06 PM   #4
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Hi Bonnie! I have lost/gained weight many times over the last 20 years or so myself. (I was 230 pounds at my highest.) In the past I have used TEMPORARY diets or fixes to lose the weight.....diet shakes, unrealistic calorie intake, etc......and did not exercise. Not surprisingly the weight always came back.

This time I feel I am doing it the right way for me. I found a plan I can stick with for life (tracking calories, lots of water, lots of fiber, reduced fat, cutting out alot of processed foods) and (the most important part!) I am exercising on a regular basis for the first time in my life.

I have not forbidden myself to have anything I really want (last night I had french fries), but I know I can't have that kind of thing all of the time....it just won't work for me.

Find a reasonable plan that works for you and that you can stick with for life.

Find a type of exercise you enjoy and do it regularly. Besides helping the weight come off....it will greatly improve your mood and your health.

Good luck!!!
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Old 11-09-2010, 03:24 PM   #5
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I don't have a end all be all answer but I do feel your stuggle.
I have been on a ton of diets too and although I could lose I could never get the maintaining thing right.
About 2 years ago I bought a Bodymedia Fit. a nify little tool I wear on my arm. it calculates calories burned and I log the food I eat. I set up a program for me with my weight and goal and how fast I want to lose.
Again not the end all be all but it took a lot of guessing out of how to do it. all I had to do was reach my daily burn goal and my daily intake and the weight came off. I have been in a maitance for a while now and again all I have to do is meet my daily goal.
I walk for exercise. sometimes I get on the eliptical but mostly I walk for an hour a day durring the week and longer than that on the weekend.
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Old 12-07-2010, 07:16 AM   #6
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Bonnie I am new here I think we should start with small changes, trying to do every thing at once you are setting yourself up for failure, so pick on thing to change move more? go slow we didn't gain the weight over night it is going to take some time to break the old habits and start new ones. I just found this site looks like lots of great people!

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Old 12-09-2010, 10:03 AM   #7
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I hear you!

I am now going to try the new WW program because the extreme elimination diets just made me want to binge on foods in the "do not eat" list.

Hoping this time around I can GET IT!

Dawn
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Old 12-30-2010, 01:08 AM   #8
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**hugz** first and foremost. I've been there too, virtually every Monday morning of my adult life! If I could go back to the 20 year old me and say "you're fine the way you are" i think a lot of this mess could have been avoided!

The difference in my success this time is that it's a LOT of weight, and it wasn't as horrible as I thought. I did seek some professional therapy because there was something more wrong than just "letting myself go" a bit! I didn't think therapy could apply to me because I'd suffered no trauma or horrible childhood or anything bad at all really! turns out a spoiled screaming brat tucked away in the back of my head has a lot to answer for ha!

I guess I look at my other diet attempts like trying to mop up the floor after the sink has overflowed - but without turning off the faucet! You get most of the water but it never stops, never relents, and will always come back no matter what you do. I was sick of gaining it back over and over and over.

Part of me feels a bit of a fraud, because SO MANY people on here go completely whole hog, revamp every single thing they eat, swap out burgers and ribs for tofu and mashed sweetpotato LOL but I couldn't live like that. I just ate LESS, moved a bit MORE, wrote everything down and counted up the calories. It doesn't take long to figure out the McDonald's "costs" more calorie wise than I was willing to give so I made a few simple changes, stuck to them, repeated them, added a few more and never looked back!

If there's any way you can talk to someone about your struggles, I really recommend it. It's not that shocking or intense, but more like a "oh riiiiiiight...." almost like a lightbulb coming on that you've been avoiding for so long, it's quite liberating!

ps i still hate sweating
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Started: 323
Now: 171 - nope, 165 now!
NOPE -- 162 now! Holy crap i've lost a PERSON!
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Old 12-30-2010, 09:50 AM   #9
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I think every single one of has been in your shoes: "omg, why can't I just DO this". I know I have. And every single year at around this time I stand here and I go: "crap, another year wasted" and I begin to reflect on what could have been.

This time of year is hard. I have decided (now that I too am back here), that for this year, I am basically going to ignore the fact that need to lose 80-85 lbs. It's too big; it overwhelms me. I have decided to focus on losing 10 lbs (x8 )...

Ten pounds is easier for me to see, easier for me reach for. I will reward myself for every ten pounds lost! I think I read of a woman here who bought herself an inexpensive silver bangle bracelet for every 10 or 20 lbs lost, and wore them always as a reminder of what she had accomplished. I think I will do something along those lines. heck I would even do colored plastic! Just as long as it's something, and I can see them adding up.

Best of luck to you! I will say this: when I came here EVERY DAY, is when I did my best and stayed on my plan. Even if I didn't post, at least reading here kept me focused. I was MIA for a bit, but now I am back and the things that kept me from spending time on computer are working themselves out.

HUGS

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Old 01-02-2011, 06:07 PM   #10
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I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately on why I cannot stick to anything longer than 2 weeks. I start out full force, I write everything down, I drink my water then 2 weeks later I fall off the wagon. Part of my problem is expecting quick results and then when I don't get them, I go back to my "old" way of eating. I know that there is more to this than meets the eye. I have to figure out what triggers me to eat 5 pieces of pizza. I self sabotage myself like I'm afraid to actually succeed. I've ordered several books to try to figure this out. I tell myself that I'm not on a diet even though I will count those points until I am capable of eating normal size portions. I should get my books this week and will post on the results. I guess ask yourself "am I truly living or just existing?" A tough question and my answer was Im only existing.

So this time around, I'm going to educate myself on the psychological reasons I do what I do. I'm 5' 2" and a half on a good day and topped the scale at 209. This is the heaviest vie ever been. I'll be 46 in 5 weeks. And I'm done existing.

I have also realized that I can't live off salads and diet dressing for the rest of my life. I'm eating foods I like just less of it. I told myself that losing this weight will take me a year. I want to lose 60 pounds. I don't want to be 110 again but want to look nice and be healthy! Besides I'm so sick of shopping in the womens dept.

I would go to Amazon and google some self help books. I can't remember all that I ordered off hand. I'm reading half-asses a memoir right now that is so funny.
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Old 01-02-2011, 06:11 PM   #11
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Hi Bonnie! I'm a day late and a dollar short, but the simple answer is that you have do do it one more time than you give up doing it. It isn't over or a lost cause as long as you keep trying. Consider each attempt before practice for the real thing. Don't get discouraged.

I quit smoking about 2 1/2 years ago...never thought I could do it. Lots of people have to try several times before it sticks. That's how it is with weight reduction and eating well, too.

You can do it!

Barb
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Old 01-18-2011, 09:39 PM   #12
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WoW a lot of good comments. I stress eat I have kids that stress me that includes mine his and ours. I have my sister that causes a lot of stress on me and so i always put all that before me. I do know when I was working out I was a happier person.
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Old 02-19-2011, 07:39 AM   #13
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This may sound silly but I find when my B vitamins are low I more likely to eat because of Stress.
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Old 02-20-2011, 02:11 AM   #14
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I didn't read all the comments but dieting was only a temp solution for me, this time i have decided i need to change my eating habits and lifestyle, there will be no relapse this time, i am a different person now and i will not change when my goal is reached.
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Old 02-20-2011, 05:10 PM   #15
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Izza...I don't think that is silly at all...Vitamin B helps with the metabolism working the way that it should.....and I have heard of people losing weight and feeling more energetic after taking Vitamin b12 shots...not sure if the oral tabs work at all.

My doctor tested me for a whole bunch of things when I told her that I was feeling exhausted, depressed and hungry all the time...the only thing that came up was a Vitamin D efficiency, quite common in people during Northeast winters............I feel so much better after taking Vit D supplements regularly.....

Just my two cents for all it is worth.......
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