!September challenge? Yeah sure, why not. Okay, it’s now September 6th. I haven’t done anything really difficult to lose. In fact, I’ve gained. What’s worse, is that my feet are hurting pretty bad, this weight is making me limp and wobble. I’m worried, and anxious about it. When I am anxious I suppress worry by … e a t i n g . Bad cycle, it’s going to make me a cripple by the time I’m 50. No!!! I want to be the Bicycling Grand Dame of this mountain, slender and lithe, and light on my feet. How can I get out of one scary nightmare into my positive projection of Life The Way I Want It ???? Stop eating !!! Apparently that’s the *only* answer at this point. Years of creative dancing around the sheer basic fact, but it all points to those two words now >> stop eating. It’s pretty darn difficult to stop eating when a person needs to eat. Not like stop smoking, or stop drinking. I think stopping eating (unneccessarily) is even more difficult. Stop “over”eating is a little better, but still hard as heck. How does one who is not at all moderate, suddenly behave so? Yes, it’s really tough. It’s got to be.
IT’s going to be tough at first, but it seems I’ve been talking about this since turning 40, and all the while increasing my denial. I have to rip the blinders right off of my conscience, and plaster some metaphorical duct tape over my mouth for as long as it takes to get the inertia spiralling into a lift. They say it only takes 21 days > three weeks< to establish a new habit. So, I guess now is the time I need to list what changes *will* allow me to conquer the fat, and adhere blindly to them. Icecream, pasta lunches, butterrrrred (mmmm) toast, milk chocolate… can those things can wait for three weeks? In the perspective of the rest of my life, certainly yes. Perhaps some of them for good, but I can’t think about that now. I’ve had a little sign posted on the hood to the Viking, as I walk into the kitchen, I see it . It says “No Flour, No Sugar, No Butter…. till Sept 8 ” (which I posted Sept.1). As IF that was going to do anything? I guess I was dipping my toes in the *idea* of going on an official diet…. announcing to the world, as not to leave myself in denial. It’s pretty easy to come up with equally fattening foods using ingredients other than white flour, processed granulated sugar, and butter. Though, all roads lead to Rome, and yesterday I did succumb to the beckoning of the butter and icecream and toast. I have not been trying to diet much in my adult llife, so it’s not that easy remembering what the behavior of binging feels like. Sheer rebellion, cheating myself, childishness. Emotions I really don’t want to look at.
I will not give up coffee. Coffee is not good for me, but it is GoodMoodJuice, and I’m drinking as much of it as I want. However, it can make me crave carbs. I’ve gotten a new little habit of grabbing the jar of peanutbutter (organic) on the 3rd cup in the morning, and nibbling. It never gets out of hand, I’m satisfied at a couple small spoonfuls, and I believe PB is good healthy vegetarian food. So then. What am I going to eat, with this metaphorical DuctTape over my mouth?
I have 3 weeks to start… to Break On Through To The Other Side. Start the day with a spoonfull or two of peanutbutter, with my coffee. After my morning walk/ride, a small bowl of Grapenuts cereal. Watermelon will be in season for at least that long. Baby carrots and fuji apples seem to be available year long. Glass of lowfat milk in the afternoon, around 3 or 4 o’clock, maybe with another spoonfull of PB, because that’s my hungry time. Salad for dinner, nothing else. No, not a salad with the entree chopped up into it either. Fix DH his delicious entree (I do love , love, love to cook, even when I can’t eat it!) , and make a SALAD every night. Salads will be palatable for at least another 3 weeks, so I’m good there. [[ Salad : red & green leaf and/or romaine, carrot curls, cucumber, tomatoes, whole beans or sliced chicken, no cheese other than a little grated parmesan, light on the Newmans’ Ceasar, salt and pepper to taste. ]] A few nights a week, perhaps steamed vegies instead of a salad, might be good for my diet and morale.
I have to get out of the idea of eating after dinner, the time when I want icecream. I’ve rationalized on rare occasion , to eat watermelon, but really, that is not good either, for it reinforces my eating after dinner habit. I need to get into the habit now, of after dinner tea ritual. So, when I’m cleaning up the dinner mess, clearing the table, and such…. new task is to boil water and make a pot of herb tea. Right on… that sounds lovely!
I have always loved the saying “The Fewer the Moving Parts, The Less there is to Go Wrong “. To me, that is about LESS is MORE. I will make my 3 weeks all about eating as few choices as possible. One square of dark orange chocolate after dinner, only if I’m hungry. Fair enough. Thats something I can LIve with. Now it’s time to just buckle down and get through the rest of September. I’m going to go into October, relieved of my aching feet, and ready for some serious luscious Autumn weather which I love, cuddled up in corduroys, turtlenecks, merino wool socks, and a cup of coffee or tea.
Beam me to October Scotty !