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Anyone here 40 plus with preschoolers?

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Old 06-29-2007, 06:51 PM   #1
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Default Anyone here 40 plus with preschoolers?

Hi Everybody.
I am a 43 year old stay at home mom of a 4 year old who is so frustrated with my weight. I didn't have my son until 3 weeks before my 39th birthday after 9 years of marriage (I never went for fertility treatments because I was always up in the air about being a mom but figured if it happened it happened). I had high blood pressure during pregnancy as well as gestational diabetes that I successfully controlled with diet. After my son was born I swore that I would get healthy and try for another baby as soon as possible. Now here I am 4 years later and I weigh more than when I was 9months pregnant . I feel like it is too late for my dream of giving my child a sibling yet I am also aware that it is my own fault for not getting myself in shape. I would really like to connect with other moms who have had children later in life or mom's with just one child who wont be having more.
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Old 07-01-2007, 08:39 AM   #2
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Hi Judy.....Except for a few details I could have written your post! I had my one and only at 38 he is almost three. I had problems with high blood pressure during pregnancy also and although I never tested positive for gestational diabetes I had to really watch my sugar intake and because my babe was so large I was tested numerous times for it.

I believe I weigh about the same as I did just before I gave birth I started losing weight as soon as I had him and was feeling fairly good even though my recovery from my c-section was slow I was walking, busy and eating well. When he was a year I started doing a dayhome to two other toddlers, 45 hours a week and I seriously think this is one of my largest obstacles for wieghtloss and only gave me excuses for eating unhealthy and finding no time for excercise. It seems a catch22 situation....No time to eat properly so snack and drink cofee to much during the day, too tired for exercise at the end of the day which only contributes to my feelings of exhaustion and I spend so much time cleaning in the evenings there is no time for planning my snacks/food....Now it is two years since I started the dayhome and I am at the largest I have ever been

I really want to stop with the excuses and get on track and feel like this once more.....
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Old 07-01-2007, 09:52 AM   #3
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You know, I just wanted to reply in this thread to offer a little bit of support. I do not have preschoolers, but I have a teenager. Isn't that the same thing?? ha!

But, I am 43, so I can relate to that and to your stories. But let me give you this advice... read and post here at 3FC often. We all need support with these issues and there is plenty of it here. You can do it!!!
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Old 07-01-2007, 08:58 PM   #4
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Hi! I am a forty three year old with a three year old, thirteen year old and a twenty one year old. I pretty much weighed the same at the end of my pregnancy that I did at the start- because I pushed so hard to eat healthy and walk due to the risk factors. I started out around 228 and at my six weeks check up I was 205.
Needless to say I gained all the weight back in the wonderful "veil" of motherhood and breastfeeding on demand. It was just really tough compared to the other two. My little bundle of joy did not sleep and when she did I needed to be a Mom to the other two kids
.After this Christmas I realized I was more than my pregnancy weight. So I got it together and lost the weight. I am not tiny by no means but a work in progress.
The working out is harder to do with both of the kids under foot during the summer. The 13 year old has ADD and learning issues. The three year old thinks she should have Mom's time. I put workouts on the back burner for the past three weeks. I am determined to figure out a way to do small weights, resistance bands and general work out during day light hours. It was easier when my son was in school.
My big food help is to have the stuff ready for my salad or snack. I can cut up celery, carrots, squash or cucumber for salads. I boil my eggs ahead of time for several days. Fruit is cut up for not just me, but for the other two. I make up Sugar free Jell-O with fruit cocktail three boxes at a time in three different size cups. Chicken breasts are usually cooked or grilled so that I just have to cut it up to get big protein- which translates into not being hungry as much.
I don't want to have anymore. I love the idea of having my little one late in life to do everything better this time- as I am not rushing around being 30 something. I was so young with the first one I didn't really know better. Now there are things like groceries and cars that work- with the other two kids we were always stressed.
The thing that the weight loss got me to do was force "me time" into the picture. It sounds selfish and horrid- but I really was a bleak person at 231 pounds. Exercise and diet got me liking myself again and the smaller body suddenly gave me a sense of self confidence.
Spend the time figuring out what you can do to get healthy even if it is 30 minutes of a walking tape or planning better snacks. What if you put planning or prep one night a week ahead of cleaning? Sometimes I tend to be a bit over organized- but after three kids I figured out that the cleaning will always be there- every night. By the time you catch up on laundry a new pile has started. It's not that I am a slob- it's just how I look at things.
I could ramble on and on- I know it sounds really hard but I had to change myself and the situation to make it work. Hopefully I can make it work for another 40 pounds and into “maintainers”.
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Old 07-01-2007, 09:07 PM   #5
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Just wanted to chime in. I'm 44 with an almost-4 yr old and last year I was resigning myself to being the mother of an only when I got "knocked up". I brought my baby girl home 2 weeks ago tomorrow. No fertility treatments, it was meant to be, but followed 3 miscarriages in a row. As several of my high school classmates have kids graduating from high school themselves this year; I do get the odd comment or look here and there - oh well.
There are lots of us older moms. It's our choice and aren't we glad we have so many options these days? My Mom's best friend likes to remind me that her grandmother gave birth to her father at 52 years old and that was 100 years ago; so it's not necessarily only because it's the 21st century!
Let me know if you want some links to other boards for older moms. I find them very comforting when I start questioning my life choices (like 2:45 am last night). I wouldn't give my kids up for anything and I would have been a lousy mother 20 years ago (personally, not all 25 yr olds are).
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Old 07-01-2007, 10:05 PM   #6
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Hi . I'm a 43 year-old stay at home mom with a four year-old too . love to chat sometime.
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Old 07-02-2007, 03:29 PM   #7
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Wow I haven't had much time to check in all weekend but just came back to so many great responses! I am so glad to connect with all of you and if any of you want to pm me please feel free! I have resigned myself to just having one but I will admit that a second child is always in the back of my mind. Kim, I can also relate to your statement about being a lousy mom 20 years ago. I know some great younger moms and envy them a little but personally I was too immature for motherhood then.
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Old 07-02-2007, 03:30 PM   #8
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PS Kim congratulations on your new bundle of joy :-).
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Old 07-03-2007, 11:10 AM   #9
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I'll be 42 this month and have a 3 and 5 year old.
Married late (at 33) and never "tried" , just took what God gave us.
Didn't realize that meant an extra 75 pounds. Not to mention menapause.
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Old 07-07-2007, 02:44 AM   #10
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I'll be 40 here soon and I have a 3 year old boy, the love of my life. I lost the baby fat after gaining 80 lbs with him then sat on my butt all winter and gained 25 or so lbs overnight. So here I am again, my boy is my main motivation to stay fit - so I say - but I won't want to hit thte 40 year old birthday overweight. I've read so many stories here of women who are now fitter in their 40s then 20s even so I'm going to get more serious about weight training... as for babies, I'm a single mom and I was having regrets the other day of only having one. I can't imagine being pregnant again but I had a mini dream of doing the sperm bank thing or adopting. Is it hard to get pregnant in your early 40s? It's hard to accept my fertile days will be over here soon. Of course turning 40 is a landmark filled with ups and downs. But I'm going up here, getting more fit, losing weight, trying to stay positive...
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Old 07-07-2007, 09:31 PM   #11
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I'm 41 and have a 3 year old myself, not to mention a 16 year old and a 14 year old! My 3 year old is from a second marriage to a man that never had kids before, so he's his "only" and going to stay that way. I'm done! I love my kids more than anything in this world, but it's time to call it quits!

I actually got pregnant when I was at my highest weight ever of about 265-270 and didn't really gain much of anything during the pregnancy. I ended up at 272 a couple months after giving birth. It wasn't until a little over 1 1/2 years ago that I decided I had to do something about my weight. I ended up losing 90 pounds, but have since gained back 14. I have got to get back to it! I got so close to my goal and then quit. I'm so frustrated with myself.

Nice to know there are others out there having kids later in life! I feel like the only one sometimes.
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Old 07-08-2007, 05:26 PM   #12
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Hi everyone! I don't usually post over here, but saw this thread and thought I'd pop in and introduce myself! I'm 41 and have a 7yr old and a 2yr old. I am just now getting down to close to my pre-pregnancy weight with my second one. I only gained 14 lbs throughout that pregnancy, lost it all before coming home from the hospital, then gained 40 lbs. UGH. I want to have more energy for my kids, and be able to get on the floor and play with them or play frisbee or take them to the pool.

It's been a bit of a challenge getting my daily exercise in, but I just strap the little one in her stroller, and tell the 7 yr old to get his scooter and off we go. The baby's not always thrilled with being stuck in the stroller. We either walk around the neighborhood, or to friends houses, or to the lake or the store. Sometimes we take the LONG way to the 7-11 and get the kids slurpees. The 7-11 is only 3 blocks away, but I walk 1.5 miles to get there. LOL. It's the getting out there and walking everyday that's important. I just ignore the little one's whining about being in the stroller. I figure this is important and she'll just have to deal with it. We often all walk to the local schoolyard after dinner and play frisbee or kick the ball around. We're working on ways to be more active as a family.
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Old 07-09-2007, 09:25 AM   #13
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Default Yeppers-It's good to be an Older Laid Back Mom...

Hi ladies,
I'm 41 (42 in Oct) and I've got a 2 yr old (going to be 3 in Aug).
I LOVE being an "older" mom. Like Kim (Ottoette) said, I'm a much better mom now than I'd have been 20 years ago.
Plus, I'm now "refocusing" my life in a way I didn't expect.
My daughter deserves a mom who's as energetic as a 20something. So, instead of plopping down when I'm tired (like I had been), I've decided that's time for us to "go do" something. (My 2 y/o is my only, so I don't have the additional need for attention feeds to other children.) Kidlette is helping me to be more active and do "fun stuff."
Of course, I go to bed at 8:30-9pm...but if you're getting up at 4:30-5am, that seems logical, right?

It's good to be a 40 something mom.
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Old 07-09-2007, 02:20 PM   #14
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Hello :-). I am 41 with a 3 yr old and a 17 yr old and an 18 yr old. My 18 yr old decided to make me a grandma and then decided she couldn't raise him and now I am. So at home I have a 19 month old, 3 yr old, and a 17 yr old. between my dh's excellent cooking and having a baby and the stress I have packed the pounds on. I need to lose 60 pounds, but right now my goal is 10. I look forward to getting to know others my age :-).

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Old 07-10-2007, 05:09 PM   #15
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Hi, I'm 45 with a 9 yr old and a 3 yr old! Married late, wasn't sure we wanted children at first, DS1 came along with no problem, then 2 miscarriages once we started "trying" for DS2, and just when I'd given up hope, along he came, when I was already 42!
Because of the m/cs and comfort eating, I was much heavier than I would have liked when I was expecting DS2, they suspected me of having GD and at all my scans the sonographer "complained" about the thick layer of fat he was trying to scan thru!!

That's partly why I'm trying to get my weight back under control now, to be a mummy who can run round and have fun, rather than one who sits on the park bench all the time...

ITA that no way was I ready for children in my 20s, but of course most of my friends have 20 yr olds now... feel like I'm in a bit of a time warp.
I work full time, DS2 has been in full time daycare and is just about to start maternelle school in Sept, he just can't wait, and he'll be in the same school complex as his big brother.

One thing I find really hard as an "older" mum is not having my parents around like my younger friends do. Their kids go off and stay a whole month with granny, or a whole weekend every couple of months... ooh I get SOO jealous of friends whose parents come and help out!! My parents have both died (in their 80s) and tho my brother and sister have DS1 to stay sometimes, it's not the same sort of relationship as my boys would have had with their grandparents. I grew up without knowing my grandparents, and I'm sad my boys won't know theirs either.

Nice to chat with other "time warp" mums!
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