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-   -   44 and fat and depressed and stressed and overeating and overdrinking and and and (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/40-somethings/111498-44-fat-depressed-stressed-overeating-overdrinking.html)

lawsclan 05-02-2007 11:15 AM

44 and fat and depressed and stressed and overeating and overdrinking and and and
I am 44 almost 45, I went from 125lbs to 214 in 2 years. It is even more depressing because I lost 70lbs to get to the 125lbs. I was fine eating the way I was, it was a lifestyle to me, but people started telling me that I was getting too thin. Then I went through a couple of depressed episodes and then I just gave up I guess and I started gaining weight, I started drinking too, making my weight gain even worse! I am struggling now to stop that as well as the OVEReating. I used to look like my avatar and I want to look like that again! I am hoping that telling on myself to others will help. I used to do tae bo which I LOVED and it helped me to lose weight. I haven't done it in 2 years, now I am so fat that even when I start to walk on my treadmill my knee starts hurting. Being a student all day makes matters worse, because I am either sitting at school or sitting at my coffee table studying. I only really take the time to make a family meal or change over the laundry. I know this needs to change... I just can't seem to get motivated............................. H E L P :dizzy:

Slashnl 05-02-2007 11:55 AM

Well, I'm not the authority on the subject, but I'll give you my 2 cents. I think you just have to take baby steps. You may not have time or energy enough for a full tae bo workout, so take a 15 minute walk. Do that every day this week, then take it up to 20 minutes next week, and so on. You might give your knees a chance to build up before trying something a little more challenging.

When I first started coming here to 3FC, I had talked about how busy I am, how there is no time for me, etc. I don't remember who it was, but they basically asked me what commitment I had to making this work. She went on to say that if it is important enough, I would find time to make it happen. I think I needed someone to slap down the excuses I had and make me face up to the work I needed to put into it.

Then, come back to 3FC often to read and post. You will get the support you need. It's a great place!

lawsclan 05-02-2007 12:11 PM

thanks for the push
I shall try to do 15 min on my treadmill today, thanks so much for writing me back.

alinnell 05-02-2007 12:29 PM

I've been a member of 3FC for over a year and I JUST NOW see that there is a 40 something's thread! How funny is that!

I'm 44. I too, had lost a considerable amount of weight and was down to 128. People told me that I was too skinny (but I sure loved being that size!). But it was hard to maintain and I bounced up to around 135 where I stayed for several years until stress took over. My weight shifted up to the 150's and then I became complacent and didn't do anything right--I ate too much, I drank too much, I didn't exercise at all. Next thing I knew, I was 173 and miserable. So I know how you feel. But, I'm also here to tell you that you are not at the end of a rope. You can turn around and you can lose the weight again.

Sit yourself down and make a plan. Decide what your goals are (is it to lose weight, to get healthy, to lose inches, a combination?). Make a chart to record your weight, your measurements (take them all now!!!) and record what you eat every day. You can do these on paper or on the computer, but just do it! Set realistic goals--maybe just 10 pounds at a time. Decide how you plan to go about it (one particular diet over another, or calorie counting, or just a healthier attitude toward eating). Then do it! You know you can!

Good luck to you.

lawsclan 05-02-2007 12:45 PM

Thanks so much for the encouragement
Thank you, I will try to take my measurements and do the charting as you say. I don't want to though, When I signed up here this morning, I weighed myself and found I had gained ANOTHER 5lbs and am scared of my measurements................................but I will try. You guys are great and I am glad I joined. I have cleared off the treadmill and plan on doing at least 15 min right now.... thank you thank you thank you

Slashnl 05-02-2007 01:38 PM

Make sure to come back and post how it went. Don't worry about getting discouraged, we all do, and you need to talk about it. Soon you'll be talking about all of your successes!! I thought it was going to kill me to make it through the first week. (evidently, it didn't!) I'm still not up to doing everything I want to do, but I've improved over the past couple of months. It's getting better all the time.

lawsclan 05-02-2007 01:59 PM

Thanks so much Diane, I got on the treadmill just a bit ago for 15 min and my knees feel pretty good, if they still feel ok tomorrow I will go on for 20 min. I ate some mashed potatoes & butter though before I got on which didn't help, but it's a step in the right direction. I haven't taken measurements, I am afraid to.... thank you so much for the encouragement! ELizabeth

PinkyPie 05-02-2007 02:02 PM

I went through something VERY similar. Lost 62lbs on WW and maintained my goal weight for over 2 years. I went through a very depressed and down period and my whole life pretty much apart - I gained everything back (thank you binge food, alcohol & Effexor) and then some.

If you still have issues with depression, please talk to a doctor or counselor to help you through. If you just can't get motivated, start with baby steps. Take a walk for even a few minutes every day. Set small, attainable goals like drinking all your water (or not drinking alcohol on weekdays, for example) one day and eating all your fruits and veg the next.

Journal your thoughts, feelings, triggers, everything. Reach out. So many people are out there and know how you may be feeling and they want to help. 3FC has a blog section here - you can start a blog and write everything you do and feel to get through each day :)

We are here for you!!!

(my parents live in Rio Rancho... how funny to see you live there! don't worry, you are still anonymous... I'm in the Netherlands anyway!!)

lawsclan 05-02-2007 02:25 PM

Hi Renee, thanks so much for your encouragement. I'm sorry you went through what I am going through, but it's awfully nice to know someone else did the same thing! It's amazing how fast it comes back on the minute you stop doing what you are doing. I will try to start a journal.... that is so unlike me though. How funny you have family in Rio Rancho. Small world sometimes. How did you get to the netherlands? Did you used to live here?

Lisette 05-02-2007 02:37 PM

Hey! I'm 49 (turn 50 on July 4th), and have been up and down the scale like you! Still struggling at this time at 312! I agree wholeheartedly with what everyone's saying in this thread, and just wanted to add that I understand about the sore knee thing. It makes it extra hard to get going on a walk when it hurts!

Anyway, my friend is heavy, too, and she purchased a recumbent exercise bike. It's the greatest thing since sliced bread (as my dad likes to say)! :) She has rheumatoid arthritis especially bad in her feet and knees and it has let her be able to exercise faithfully with very little suffering.

Just another idea...

Take Care!

lawsclan 05-02-2007 03:04 PM

Hi there Elaine, thanks for the encouragement. I really couldn't afford a recumbant bike, but that sounds like a great idea. I sure wish you well on your trek to lose weight. Have you learned any good "tricks"? Elizabeth

Lisette 05-02-2007 09:44 PM

Hi, Elizabeth! Oh, Lordy, can we talk about learning any new weight loss tricks!? I believe I've tried every trick in the book, starting at about age 13 when my best friend talked me into eating nothing but a can of sliced mushrooms for lunch at school for days on end! It' really kind of funny, although pathetic, how many things we try! And really, it's just not fair that our friends aren't cursed with the gene that helps us to store fat so easily in case of a famine, is it? :) (I really wish I had another talent besides that one!).

The best luck I've ever had losing weight was on the 12-step program in Overeaters Anonymous and the "Weigh Down Workshop" program. Also had quite a bit of luck with hypnosis. I'm not doing much for myself these days, since our son's been having seizures now for about 3 l/2 years. It seems to take all my time and attention to help him. But, soon I'm going to gear up and either start a 12-step group here in town (as some other posters suggested), or use the new hypnosis set I recently purchased.

Do you seem to have a hard time finding the time to focus on yourself? I really don't think I'm making an excuse about this, but maybe I am.? I just keep trying to remember to take it "One Day at a Time" like they say in OA. Life seems so overwhelming at times, but it's a little easier when you don't worry about things that may happen tomorrow!

Guess I'm rambling, I'll sign off. I wish you much luck and success in your weight loss efforts!


lawsclan 05-02-2007 11:01 PM

Hi Elaine, you are so cute :hug: I have had my crazy tricks too.:dizzy: The way I lost it last time was to each a piece of cheese in the morning to start my metabolism then I wouldn't eat a meal till dinner. I would eat like a handful on nuts or another piece of cheese when my stomach got to growling and then I would eat whatever I wanted for dinner (before 6 pm) I noticed after awhile that I needed to eat another piece of cheese or some milk before bed or it would take me a long time to go to sleep. It was killer at first till my stomach shrank, then it was easy. Everyone said " you need to eat more than that" but I wasn't starving myself and what I ate was good for you food. I didn't get to eat much for dinner cause my tummy was small, sometimes I would eat like a 1/2 a subway sandwich or something when my husband wanted to go to lunch with me. Some people find it weird that I would go to lunch with them and only eat like 4 shrimp or nothing at all. So I would try to order a meal and just not eat it all so they didn't feel bad. I felt GREAT... but it is KILLER to get to that point and I wish so badly that I never stopped eating like that! Oh well too late now... 85lbs later :( Yes I TOTALLY understand about not taking the time to take care of ourselves. We get so absorbed by our family that we never really think about ourselves. I know that is wrong, I know we are supposed to take time out everyday for ourselves, but I don't. There is just TOO MUCH TO DO!!! I feel guilty taking time out selfishly. Wish I had a male mentality and could lay around the couch all day and not feel guilty. I wouldn't lay around the couch but I might join a gym, I won't do that now cause it takes too much time out of my day to use it. I have a treadmill at home, I found one in a garage sale for $75, it's not a fancy one, but it's not bad and when I am able to run again, it should be fast enough. I am proud of myself today, I used the treadmill for 15 min, but I ate like "I was going on a diet tomorrow" if ya' know what I mean. Now who is rambling :dizzy: Have a wonderful evening and I'll chat with you later, Elizabeth

PinkyPie 05-02-2007 11:45 PM

Hey Elizabeth
Honestly, journaling can really help you find:
1) what works
2) your triggers
3) your emotions vs. non-hungry eating
4) your progress in black and white
5) friends who have somewhere to go to support you :)

I've been in NL for 13 years. I'm actually originally from Alamogordo. My family's been up in Rio Rancho for about... I don't know 10 years? Some of my family has been in Placitas for a good 25 years but we are all from Alamogordo originally.

all the best to you~ whatever you decide to do to get back on track I'm sure there are lots of people wanting to support you :)

lawsclan 05-03-2007 10:58 AM

Hi Renee, I started a blog this morning, I hope it will help me to do better. I even measured myself... oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!! how awful that was.... it made me almost want to quit and forget it... but i didn't :carrot: I got up on my treadmill instead :carrot:

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