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Old 08-21-2011, 12:04 PM   #6
kaplods
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Wausau, WI
Posts: 13,383

S/C/G: SW:394/310/180

Height: 5'6"

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You can focus on your failure to keep ALL the weight off, or you can focus on your success at keeping SOME of the weight off.

It's easier to build on success than it is to build on failure, so focus on the success.

One of the ways to do so, is to realize that most people don't just regain, they regain it ALL and usually some extra to boot. If you spend too much time in shame, you're going to feel worthless and will most likely regain the rest and some extra.

I have spent the last 40 years trying to lose weight, and until recently have done so, always gaining as much or more than I lost.

This time has been different, because I know how dismal the odds are for success, and I realize that I am beating them just by "staying in the game." I had some help from my doctor, because when I complained to him about my failure to lose more than a pound a month (like a "normal person," I said) he pointed out that I wasn't failing I was succeeding, because most people lose nothing, or give up and regain.

Weight loss is like a huge marathon - and if you don't know how many people are behind you, you can feel like you're in last place when you're really in the lead.

Now, it's not really a race - in that we don't have to beat anyone, but we're still influenced by what we believe to be normal - and we compare ourselves to the preceived standard - but we're usually wrong. We think more people are having success than we are, when we're not just doing average, we're doing phenomenal. We assume that everyone is having the success that we're not.

Because we're told that up to 2 lbs per week is a healthy loss, we assume everyone else is losing those 2 lbs a week, every week while we're trailing in everyone's dust.

I strongly recommend joining a TOPS (taking off pounds sensibly, it's a low-cost weight loss group), because most TOPS groups don't just report the total losses of members for the groups, but also the total gains, and often people go around the room sharing whether they gained, lossed, or stayed the same. That may seem humiliating, but if you pay attention you realize that most people do not lose 2 lbs per week, and that most people (even the most successful) don't lose every week.

My group does a monthly contest in which the people who attended all the weigh-ins and did not have a gain that monthy split a $10 prize. Usually out of a group of 25 members, only 2 or 3 people split that prize. That means 90% of us, have at least one gain per month (and this is a group that won state recognition for weight loss - it's a dedicated group, not a bunch of slackers).

Focus on your success not your failure, because your behavior will follow your focus. So if you want success, focus on your success - because you still have a lot of success to be proud of - even if you had gained it all back and some extra you would still be able to focus on the success of choosing to come back - of not giving up.
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Last edited by kaplods; 08-21-2011 at 12:05 PM.
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