"Are you Anorexic?" What, everyone can be skinny but me? - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

kimmieval · 08-20-2011, 02:50 AM

So for the third time this week I was cautioned for possibly being anorexic. The first time, it was a family member, but today was the last straw. What's worse the person telling me is my height and skinnier than me, but I guess, being "born" skinny gives some persons a right to be slimmer and healthier (looking at least).

I am 133.5lbs at 5ft 4 inches, how can I ever be considered anorexic. I am a size 6, my calves I am told are those of a British woman (very nice I chunky, I interpret). Some days, you really have to shake your head!

In actuality, I am a late eater, I have never been a heavy breakfast eater, so if eating a cup of porridge and three (tough Jamaican crackers) for breakfast means I am picking like the birds then whatever! Funny thing is, most of my calories come later in the day as I get ravenous at nights, so I simply rearrange my calories. I have taken about 14 months to lose approx 38 lbs, I have done this slowly, slowly because I enjoy my treats and food- I do not binge, I do not send it back down the toilet, I simply eat sensibly. I pick my battles, so that french fry I want I will have but I cannot eat the french fries AND the biscuit from Popeyes. It is amazing how many persons do not realize how many calories are in such biscuits or rotis etc.

Sorry about the rant, but just sometimes....

bargoo · 08-20-2011, 07:34 AM

Just turn a deaf ear to these comments, you know the truth.Your weight for your height doesn't sound anorexic to me.

Horo · 08-20-2011, 07:59 AM

You should tell these people that anorexia is a very serious eating disorder and therefore not a term to be thrown around lightly. Say that suggesting that someone is anorexic for having lost weight completely within the boundaries of what's healthy is making light of people who actually suffer from the disorder and extremely rude to boot. (Or you can just tell them to mind their own stinking business :b )

berryblondeboys · 08-20-2011, 08:06 AM

You can be 300 pounds and anorexic. Using starvation as a mode to lose weight, which, of course, could eventually lead to the super skinny look.

They are worrying. If the only things they see you eat are small bites of things here and there, they simply might think that's how you always eat. Instead of getting mad, explain to them as you explained to us.

sontaikle · 08-20-2011, 08:21 AM

I get the other version of "are you anorexic?" It's "Are you eating?!" It's not like I'm even skinny at this weight, but I suppose since I've lost the weight fairly quickly, people ask.

I usually just outright tell people "Yes, I'm eating less now. Leave me alone."

belmagick · 08-20-2011, 08:24 AM

What do you mean you have the calves of a 'british woman'?

I'm quite upset by that.

runningfromfat · 08-20-2011, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by berryblondeboys

You can be 300 pounds and anorexic. Using starvation as a mode to lose weight, which, of course, could eventually lead to the super skinny look.

They are worrying. If the only things they see you eat are small bites of things here and there, they simply might think that's how you always eat. Instead of getting mad, explain to them as you explained to us.

Yes to this. Simply explain your eating methods. I lost weight once right before HS and eventually my parents asked. I told them my weight loss method, we discussed eating disorders briefly (so not an issue), and they felt a lot better about it. Sometimes those who love you just want some reassurance and just want to check that you're doing it healthily.

Michelle2008 · 08-20-2011, 08:34 AM

I get the are you eating one aswell! After some good advice here I now simply laugh and say ofcourse - I have a very healthy diet! I am learning to ignore the stupid comments!

Lovely · 08-20-2011, 08:42 AM

The lengths at which I might explain myself would vary on how close my relationship is to a person.

Family member or good friend? I'd go into brutal detail about how often I eat and what amounts. (They might regret asking!) But, I'd be very clear about how I'm merely eating healthier now, and that's far from having an eating disorder. After all, family and friends are likely asking from a true place of caring.

Someone I'm not as close to? "Thanks for the concern, but I'm eating very regularly!"

Still, it's funny how perceptions mean a lot. The person you mention is your height and skinnier, but they're used to you being not the same weight that they are, so they see you shrinking and they think "Hmm... what's she doing losing weight? I'm used to her being xxx pounds, not being near to my weight!"

fight2winthis · 08-20-2011, 08:43 AM

sorry about that... people will always say thoughtless things without meaning to hurt you. Yesterday I went to my former office to get a contract and got a lot of admiration from my former colleagues (who I hadn't seen in abt 3yrs). The lady I set out to meet though said something to the effect that I should 'take it easy so that I don't disappear'. I mean, I weigh 88kg (193lbs)! True I started at 117kg (257lbs) but regardless of my height, that's nowhere near a healthy weight/my goal weight! Because of the other funny things I get read being told to our fellow 3fcers, I just laughed it off. Funny this was coming from a lady who is obese and not doing anything about it. She did ask me what I do to lose weight though, and I simply told her 'eating healthy and exercise'. So I don't think her intentions were all bad, but just that she kinda wished she were in my shoes. So don't take it to heart, just brush it off. But if the person is consistently annoying or 'concerned for you', let them know how wrong their assumption is, once and for all. You are at a totally healthy weight for your height.

kimmieval · 08-20-2011, 09:17 AM

belmagick

Sorry, its something I have been told for years. It simply means I do not have the traditional thin calves. I have never taken it for an insult, it is a way that persons here have used to describe the shape of my calves (here they would also say in the local vernacular that my body is "strong", again not an insult as men here tend to like ladies whom they term "has a little meat on their bones". As such, hence the calves being chunky but nice as I alluded to in my earlier post.

I think it is a cultural thing and not intended to be bad or disrespectful. I am sorry if you the comment was insulting to you- it was honestly not meant to be to you...in my reality it is simply how it is/was told..I can see in retrospect how a British lady might take the comment as an insult and for that i am sorry

kimmieval · 08-20-2011, 09:25 AM

I know I should dismiss it, and simply laugh them off, but when a family member starts telling others members at every opportunity how skinny I am becoming, it gets tiring. I guess I am not as thick-skinned as I thought because the repeated questions do annoy the heck out of me.

aimeebell · 08-20-2011, 09:26 AM

What really struck me about post is that we can't have biscuits with our fries at Popeyes. Say what????? LOL The second best part about Popeyes is the biscuit with honey! Just kidding, but I did have Popeyes last week and it was sooooooo yummy, but you are right I pick my battles. I hadn't had Popeyes in eight months, my fiance lived right by one, but we are moving and Popeyes is not nearby, so I had one last hurrah!
Regarding the real point of this thread, I think someone said it best when they said they would explain it in as little or as much detail as the relationship warranted.

TL0812 · 08-20-2011, 09:58 AM

I had a similar thing happen last week. A friend of mine told me I should stop losing because I was too skinny. I just looked at her like WTF! I'm still Obesse and am at no risk of being too thin anytime soon.

I think sometimes these comments from jealousy and sometimes from genuine concern. If it is someone you are close to, I agree, share what you plan is and what your goals are if not just ignore the comments.

kimmieval · 08-20-2011, 10:30 AM

[email protected] do not serve the biscuits here with honey (we would think them strange), but I used to enjoy the biscuit and the red beans and rice and pie....now I occasionally I eat Popeyes and share a 2 pc meal with my mom and I eat one chicken wing with red beans and rice (no fries, no biscuit). For me, losing weight is a journey and not a diet, as I know that before diets did not work as NEVER again eating Popeyes was not going to work for me (wonder if they want me in a local commercial to plug Popeyes?)

I am seeing from the posts that maybe persons really do not understand how someone can lose weight in the manner that I have/ I believe that it is the weighing of my food and using measuring cups that did me in as I guess it looks a bit compulsive to persons who do not understand. Additionally , family members do not see me doing a traditional diet, so maybe at the next family gathering i need to have a weight loss corner!