[Chantelle]

Hi everyone. I'm sorry if this is a long, rambling story but I've kept so much bottled up the past day and a half that I just need to get it all out so I can calm down.. I'm about '' this close to just imploding.

So I finally buckled down and re-re-re-restarted sticking to a proper eating plan. I signed up for the gym last weekend, and ACTUALLY WENT the very next day! Small victory in itself, I'm *that* person all gyms love.. paying for 3 years and never using my membership.. I did really good the first week, went to the gym again on Wednesday, busted out my first BodyPump class (still hurting!) and even managed to research my way into a sub-300 calorie meal at Chevy's when we met some friends for dinner on Thursday night.

We got home around 11:30pm. DH spots an empty Orbit gum packet in front of our dog, Roxy's, bed - and makes a laughing remark that if she farts bubbles for the next few days, we know why. I'm just slightly paranoid normally, and started fretting that the gum might block her intestine, or cause tummy problems, etc, so he hops online to check.

It all went downhill from there. Apparently even TWO pieces of sugar-free gum can cause a 40-50lb dog to have crazy insulin spikes, get sick, get liver damage, or worst case, have liver failure. Roxy is 20lbs and ate TWELVE pieces ... wrappers and all. She was her normal hyper, happy self though so I called the vet to ask what they thought.. and when the doctor heard "Xylitol", her entire voice changed and she just goes "You NEED to bring her in, RIGHT NOW."

So we FLY down to the emergency place and get there by 12:10am. The doctor's initial prognosis was crippling.. Roxy was considered a critical patient, most dogs who ingest that much Xylitol usually die, and she's just a little thing so they were shocked she was reacting so well thus far. We had no idea when she had eaten the gum (possible 15hr window) so they were just taking the possible worst case scenario into account - that she had just consumed it before we got home and would get her "crash" later. She was going to be hooked up on glucose IVs, supplemented with phosphorus and potassium, and needed liver protectorant to try to offset her liver failing from the, essentially, huge amount of poison she had eaten.

She has to remain there until Sunday night or Monday morning - it's been less than 24 hours and our bills already total over $2000. I am tired, stressed out, DEPRESSED (i love that dog with my life), and so lost because I can't *do* anything... she could turn on a dime and go from being great to dying in 5 minutes if her liver decides it can't handle it I don't even know how we're going to afford this - we were making really good progress paying down our debt and I was finally starting to feel like I could breathe and this is just going to cripple us

In spite of it all, I've managed to remain on plan.. my sleep is shot beyond all **** , but I ate some oatmeal this morning, slept a few hours (kept waking up to call and see how she was doing because they told me to keep in touch since this is the critical period), had some crockpot chicken for lunch, and even forced myself to go to the gym this evening. Really, REALLY didn't want to do it but I figured it would be a good way to take my mind off things for a while... I tried my first Zumba class, too. Turns out I have three left feet but hey, it was fun and I really needed the mental release for a while.

I'm just hoping and praying things will be okay. I don't usually get this scared about stuff but just this feeling of absolute helplessness is killing me. And I keep blaming myself, wondering if maybe we had come back home at 6pm like we usually do instead of meeting friends for dinner, perhaps we could have prevented this??? I don't know. Ugh. But I'm proud I'm sticking to my plan at the very least.. I don't need to feel like crap on top of everything else for giving in to my emotions and stuffing my face full of cheesecake or the like.

Thank you for reading all this Again, sorry it's so long but I didn't really have anyone else to turn to who would understand (my DH is about as torn-up about this as I am and I don't want to rehash it) and you guys are some of the most amazing support anyone could ask for.

[ghost]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope your dog pulls through, and great job not using this stress as an excuse to go off plan. Hang in there!

[cortandcooper]

Best of luck to you and your dog, and I hope she comes through as well as possible. Been there, one of my dogs decided to grab a bottle of Aleve off the nightstand not too long ago, and we went through something similar. You have my utmost sympathies, and I think we'll be banning products with xylitol from our house.

[envelope]

I hope all turns out well for your dog. CONGRATULATIONS for staying on plan through out this stress. As far as the debt goes...you will just need to take it one baby step at a time and continue tackling it. Have you ever heard of Dave Ramsey? He is a financial talk show guy, who is a straight talker, and I LOVE. Listening to him helped my husband and I get out of debt a few years back, and I will always be thankful to him.

[bargoo]

Sorry to hear of this, hope your dog recovers conpletely.

[Lovely]

[KatMarie]

Saying a prayer for your baby dog. Hugs.

[linJber]

Chantelle - I'm so sorry for the problems you're facing with the dog. I don't have a dog and am generally unaware of what can cause them harm. I would never have thought to look at xylitol, though I did look it up and with all the warnings out there, I'm sure your vet is very well informed.

My prayers go out to you. Try to stay calm and focused. Keep to your normal routine as closely as possible, and DO NOT allow yourself to "what if" yourself into a guilt trip. What if you had been in the next room / in the yard for a minute / etc. / and still didn't notice for hours that the gum was gone? Accidents happen. Please don't put guilt on top of all the other emotions you're dealing with right now.

Lin

[Curvaliscious]

So sorry about your dog. I couldn't imagine the stress and worry. I am so impressed you're staying on plan and doing so well! Keep it up and keep us updated on your dog.

[sabrinalecompte]

Many strong women I know would still have crumbled under this kind of pressure. Congratulations on sticking to your plan and not letting it derail you! I know how devastating it is to have an emergency like this with a beloved pet. I also know how crippling the debt can be for emergency veteranary care. I'm so very sorry you are going through this and I truly hope that your dog makes it through this okay. Keep coming here for support and finding positive ways to distract from your frustrations and heartache. I know it's hard.. but you're doing amazing! Keep going strong. Your hubby and your doggy need you! We're here for you, hon!

[FitGirlyGirl]

Congrats to you for stayin on plan. I will be praying for your furbaby.

[georgeshair]

Well done for staying on plan through all the stress and worry. I do hope your dog is OK.

[linJber]

Chantelle - any news? Been thinking about you all day. Hope all is well.

Lin

[missjkd]

I am praying for your dog. My two dogs mean so much to me, so I could not image what your are going through.

[eyre13]

I hope everything works out all right, and I'm so impressed that you've still managed to stay on track!