[Cynicalbeauty89]

Hi!
I'm new here. And I have never posted in a forum. Soooo, here I go. I used to weigh 125 lbs at the beginning of college. (I'm 5'9"). I am now well on my way to 300. I have had a ton of crazy things happen to me during this almost 4 year period. I've since quit school due to depression. I am physically and emotionally in pain from this huge change in my body. My back hurts, I get out of breath more, etc... But I also have blood pressure problems that I have been dealing with before the weight gain & I am on several pills that cause weight gain I feel really stuck. I am hungry pretty much every other hour. I get embarrassed, and during the night I will actually eat in the bathroom so my boyfriend will not see me shoveling it in. I'm depressed (even on the billionth different antidepressant) and tired. Ex that, EXHAUSTED. I hate salad and most veggies. I get out of breath climbing stairs. I don't know if I will ever be healty again. Any words of encouragement or tips would be appreciated. I want my health back. I don't expect to ever be 125 again, but I would like to feel better and feel better about my body. I'm scared I'll always be big.
-j

[Lovely]

Welcome to 3FC =)

I want to start off by saying that it is very possible to lose weight. You can do it. It's not always easy, and it's almost never fast, but it IS doable.

Before I say anything else, I should point out that there's a Depression and Weight Issues area on the forum as well as a Chicks in Control section. Both of those places you will be able to chat with others dealing with Depression, effects of different medications, and under Chicks in Control you can see that you aren't the only person who eats emotionally or has secret eating problems.

In order to change something, we have to make a change. I know that sounds a little too simple, but what I mean is at some point we must decide what needs doing, and then do it.

When it comes to weight loss, we aren't aiming to lose weight fast, we're able to take it step by step... making small healthy choices throughout the day that add up to big changes.

If it feels overwhelming, you don't necessarily have to do everything all at once. It is perfectly OK to decide to change a couple of habits for a few weeks, and only after you've gotten used to those things...add in more healthy changes.

You don't like veggies? OK. For now don't worry about it. Instead, simply pick up a notepad and every time you're about to eat something you write down the food and your feelings. The notepad doesn't prevent you from eating whatever food you've decided upon, but over the course of a week or two you might notice some very interesting patterns about when and why you're turning to food, and also WHAT foods you're choosing as well as the amounts.

You can't climb stairs well? OK. For now you simply focus on getting in ANY extra activity. Anything! A five minute walk a day. A few minutes of yoga. Parking further away from stores. Anything that allows you to start moving more than you are now.

Maybe you drink a lot of sodas or sugary things? Switch to diet versions or pure, refreshing water. It's a very simple change. After a couple weeks, most people find that their old sodas or juices are now WAY too sugary for them!

Pick something something you want to change, and come up with a healthy habit to "push out" a bad one. Maybe you even just want to aim for "No More Bathroom Eating!" and tell yourself that any meal you make, you must sit at the table for. Sitting down at the table with nothing to distract you will definitely keep you mindful of the meal, and you won't be trying to hide anything anymore.

We'd love to help encourage you or suggest more. People at 3FC really do want to support and offer understanding to others. We're all working towards the same goal: HEALTHIER!

If nothing else... know you can do this. Because, you can!

I hope to see you around the boards.

[Nightmare]

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Originally Posted by Cynicalbeauty89

Hi!
I'm new here. And I have never posted in a forum. Soooo, here I go. I used to weigh 125 lbs at the beginning of college. (I'm 5'9"). I am now well on my way to 300. I have had a ton of crazy things happen to me during this almost 4 year period. I've since quit school due to depression. I am physically and emotionally in pain from this huge change in my body. My back hurts, I get out of breath more, etc... But I also have blood pressure problems that I have been dealing with before the weight gain & I am on several pills that cause weight gain I feel really stuck. I am hungry pretty much every other hour. I get embarrassed, and during the night I will actually eat in the bathroom so my boyfriend will not see me shoveling it in. I'm depressed (even on the billionth different antidepressant) and tired. Ex that, EXHAUSTED. I hate salad and most veggies. I get out of breath climbing stairs. I don't know if I will ever be healty again. Any words of encouragement or tips would be appreciated. I want my health back. I don't expect to ever be 125 again, but I would like to feel better and feel better about my body. I'm scared I'll always be big.
-j

Hi

Here's my two cents.

I, personally, could relate to a lot of what you had written.
Long story short, I had my yearly doctor appointment and she put me on a antidepressant and it would work as a appetite suppressant as well.

I began dropping off the weight.
It was really starting to work and it felt good and made me feel better about myself.
I'm not the type of person to promote drugs in any fashion, but I'd REALLY suggest that you consult your physician and talk to her/him about it.

Best of luck to you.
Baby steps and stay focused on the goal at the time.

Just try and stay focused to why you're getting this weight off.

You only have one chance while here on earth, so you might as well be healthy for the adventure.

KELLI

[kaplods]

When I started, I was virtually bed-ridden. I'd had to stop working, because of my health problems. I couldn't even stay awake at my desk. I was sleeping up to 20 hours in a day (and I mean sleeping, not lying in bed awake). I couldn't shower on my own (I needed a shower chair) and I couldn't even wash my hair normally (I had to use a shampoo and conditioner because I didn't have the strength to do more than one lather and rinse). I often needed my husband's help to dress. I had to use the electric carts when I went shopping (and I almost never went shopping because the walk to the car and then from the parking lot was such a test of endurance).

Getting healthier was like trying to dig myself out of a prison cell with a teaspoon.

My advice... If you only have a teaspoon, use it anyway.


I started really small. My "exercise" for the day was doing small amounts of cleaning during commercials. I'd wheel my kitchen chair over to the sink and do a few dishes. I'd be sweating just from 3 minutes of dishwashing, but bit by bit I was able to do more. I stood when I could. I moved when I could, and I always tried to do a little bit more than the day before (not a lot more, or I'd end up back in bed for three days).

"Do more" even if it's only one step more. "Eat less" evenif it's one spoonful less.

Over time the small changes really do start adding up, and you build on your success and will be able to do a little more until the little becomes a lot.

The most important thing for me was to realize that giving up wasn't an option. That every pound, every ounce, every step, every bite counts. If I eat off-plan, bingeing isn't going to help. There is no "binge now and start fresh tomorrow." Starting fresh starts with the next bite.

If you trip while mountain climbing you don't throw yourself to the bottom, you pick yourself up and keep going.

[QuilterInVA]

You really need to learn to eat properly, including fruits and vegetables. There are hundreds and hundreds of ways to prepare them.

If you continue to eat the same foods you did to gain weight, you'll get the same results - no weight loss.

I have depression too. There are many depression drugs that do not cause weight gain. Speak to your doctor if you think medication is contibuting to the problem.

[lin43]

Originally Posted by kaplods

Getting healthier was like trying to dig myself out of a prison cell with a teaspoon.

My advice... If you only have a teaspoon, use it anyway.

Kaplods, this is one of the most powerful statements I've read (I was an English major, so I immediately thought of The Count of Monte Cristo). Your experience is such an inspiration to me and, I'm sure, to the OP as well.

[Regera Dowdy]

Cynicalbeauty89, I know it's difficult (sometimes impossible) to think positive when you have depression, but maybe you could focus on small steps. Many people get discouraged if they think "Oh no, I have to lose a billion pounds!" I sort of trick myself by having multiple goals that are more easily attainable. Think about developing healthy habits instead of losing x amount of weight per week. You can start slowly by walking a few minutes a day and gradually increasing time/exertion. Becoming more active can help your blood pressure. Try switching sugary drinks with water and switching white breads/cereals/pasta for whole grain versions. Maybe breaking up your meals so you're eating smaller meals more often will help a little with hunger. I don't think you should try doing everything at once because it's overwhelming. Every week or two, you can add a new healthy habit like using reduced fat dairy products or walking ten minutes instead of five.

The only way you'll always be big is if you let that fear stop you in your tracks. Don't give in to the fear because it's the only thing truly holding you back. All the difficulties may slow you down, but they can't stop you. When you feel down or overwhelmed, you can always make a post for support. People here want to see you succeed!

kaplods, your entire post was inspiring. I love the mountain climbing analogy.

[Cynicalbeauty89]

Thank you to everyone for the encouraging advice. Kaplods... Your story is amazing and truly inspirational to say the least. You are a strong individual who decided to make such a huge lifestyle change, and I applaud you for that. I was tearing up reading all of these replies. It is really nice to know that there are other people out there who can relate/care. Thanks again to all of you!

[xty]

You dont need to find the strength to get healthy - that is a herculean task to think of achieving (or even devising a plan for!).

Find the strength to live a healthier life just today.

For me, at my high weight it wasnt about being big vs small. It was life vs death. And whether I was to succeed or fail, I knew I had to TRY my hardest to fight for life.

Decide what you are fighting for and focus on those things when you feel weak.

And remember that while you may have less control than you want, you have more power than you could imagine

[Lori Bell]

If you are a praying kind of gal, my suggestion would be to get on your knees and pray like there is no tomorrow. If not, well...meditate or do what it is you do to clear your head.

I know it seems overwhelming, but you can do this. You can lose weight without eating a single salad. Heck you can lose weight without eating a single vegetable. Fruit works as well as veggies. There are great depression drugs...and there are great non-medication remedies as well. Vitamin D...the sunshine vitamin is amazing for easing depression. Matter of fact, for some people the best cure for depression is a diet full of vitamins, minerals, and Omega 3 fatty acids. Many people, (including myself) have literally ate our way out of depression.

If you can't or don't feel as though you want to jump in full throttle, start with one small thing. Anything that will improve your life.

For every reason you can come up with why you can't...I can come up with 10 reasons why you can!

[kaplods]

You know my story does sound amazing looking back on it. Wow 90 lbs lost, and a lot of mobility regained (I still have far to go, but I've gained most of my independence back. It's nice to know I can take a shower whenever I want to, and am safe in my own home, alone), but when you look close up, it isn't success by most standards.

It's taken me six years to get this much of my life back. I didn't start figuring out the weight loss component until about two and a half years ago. I'd been eating better and maintaining some weight I lost as a result of sleep apnea treatment (the first and only time I've ever lost weight accidentally). When you look at my progress, it's been so slow, that it's not all that impressive.

I say that not to be modest, but to warn folks that slow progress often doesn't feel or look like any progress by most definitions of the word. I still want to chastise myself for not doing more, faster, and maybe I "should" have. But when I focus on what I should have done, but didn't - I get discouraged. So, I've learned to reward and praise myself for the changes I am making without focusing on how they didn't measure up to my idea (or anyone else's) of how it "should" have gone.

When you have a long way to go, it's sometimes hard to see the teaspoonfull's progress as any progress at all.

I also know from prevous weight loss experiences, that I tend to forget the progress. Most days I don't realize that I "feel" any different than I ever did. I forget what it was like to be bed-ridden. I also forget what it was like to be able to swim 30 laps. It feels like I've always felt this way (just like when I look in the mirror, it feels like it's the same body I've always had - because the change has been so gradual).

I HIGHLY reccommend keeping not only a food journal, but also a symptom and acheivement journal. Write it all down, so that when you feel it's hopeless and nothing has changed, you can look back and see how much has.

I tend to go through "decluttering" periods, when I'll throw out everything I think I don't need, including old journals. I wish I'd kept them all (even the ones I wrote when I was 8), but I didn't. I do though go back and read some of my really old posts here, to remind myself how much I've changed (I kind of wish that the tickers didn't change, that I could see in those old posts how much I weighed when I wrote them. Sometimes I can indirectly, when I see that I've written about being excited to have lost 50 lbs, and I realize that was 40 lbs ago).

I don't think I would have made it this far without everyone here at 3FC. The daily support has made all the difference. I need in-person accountability too, so I also belong to a TOPS group (which I'd also highly recommend - Taking Off Pounds Sensibly).

There is no single key to weight loss. For everyone there are thousands of keys, and you have to collect as many as you can. Some people need more keys than others, and some people have a harder time finding all of their keys, but we're all on the same scavenger hunt for them.





Oh yeah, Lori Bell's mentioning Vitamin D and Omega-3's reminded me, that they've both been a true godsend for me.

I'm extremely fair-complected (almost blue-white), so even 10 minutes in the direct sun can result in a nasty sunburn (this was even true before I was on medications that make me even more light-sensitive). As a result, I take Vitamin D supplements. My doctor and I were both shocked at how much the Vitamin D helped my pain and depression (so much so that he recently suggested I double my dose). Omega-3 fish oil has been similarly helpful for my osteoarthritis (some say it also works for depression, I can really only attest to the anti-inflammatory properties. To work as an anti-inflammatory the dose has to be fairly high, so it's not something you should consider without doctor's supervision, and I'd say the same thing about taking more vitamin D than the RDA as well).

Change is tough, even when it's positive change. Eventually changes become habits, but that takes a while. The hardest part is refusing to be discouraged, even when you don't see the progress you want or expect.

There's a lot of inspiration in the Dieting with Obstacles forum, and a lot of practical tips, whether it's for specific or generic obstacles.

[GradPhase]

I'm so happy you FINALLY made an account here J! <3

The advice here is great, and the chicks amazing. I don't think I even though to ask you earlier if you were taking vitamin D supplements or not? You totally should ask your doctor about THAT!! Are you taking prenatals? Or any vitamins at all?

Keep at the boards - there are alot of chicks here also suffering from the effects of fybromyalgia, and chicks fighting off the summer sun You're not alone - and they are VERY creative at times - so where there's a problem, there will surely be a solution. All you have to is ask.

Also, there's a veggie challenged board for new ideas to try for veggies you don't think you like which is great, amungst the others recommended (chicks in control, the depression one, the 20-somethings board, etcetera).

I think the advice about starting with just one small change and sticking it out for a while is fantastic - figure out what the one change is going to be, and take a step.

You've already done this before - you can do it again!!

- K

[ELBS717]

Good for you, for joining the website. There are a lot of helpful people, ideas, and tips, not to mention encouragement!
Working through the depression to a point of motivation has been one of my most difficult challenges... and my stress seems to add to it. Recognizing what a role stress has in my life, I'm working on reducing it.
It might take at least a whole first week - but I can guarentee it, that if you are putting better and healthier food into your body, your energy will go way up. I have recently started a low-carb, moderate protien, moderate fat, high vegetable diet. It took two horrible, horrible, lethargic, feeling-crappy days, but after that, I felt incredible. My energy sky-rocketed. So that's the key, getting through the initial withdrawl - after that, it always gets easier and easier.
Just making an account on this website shows that you are eager for a change, and that is commendable! So, how do you want to go about it? Is there a particular method or life style change that you're interested in? There are so many forums on here, you can look into any of them - calorie counting, low carb, etc. If you want some good recipe ideas for veggies, just let me know! Welcome!