Single Life Sucks - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

BuggyBear81 · 06-17-2011, 04:34 PM

The single life sucks.. As I look around, it seems like everyone, but me has a husband or a fiance'... I was engaged, I broke it off because he was abusive and because I didn't love him. But sometimes I feel like I should have just kept him to be able to have someone. No one wants the fat girl. It makes me so depressed and just ... bleh.

Tell me you all feel like this, too..

m3rma1d · 06-17-2011, 04:39 PM

My boyfriend dumped me on my birthday 2 weeks ago, because I'm too fat. (even tho I am 40lbs lighter than when we met 3 years ago, I didn't lose it "fast enough")

So yeah I'm with you right now. Being single sucks. I feel like I'm never gonna get over this, no matter how many times people tell me I will.

ryeb · 06-17-2011, 04:49 PM

You don't need to be with someone that shallow anyways!

Don't go back to someone that makes you unhappy just so you can have the title of "girlfriend" When you both get self confidence about your selves, I can promise men will come flocking!

VirgoChic · 06-17-2011, 05:04 PM

I feel the same way you do.

My last 'boyfriend' was FAR too long ago, and I recently lost a 'friend' that I had been talking to online for close to a year nearly every day. He just stopped talking to me one day after we had some stupid disagreement and even though I didn't understand what I did that was so wrong that he stopped talking to me like that, I apologized and still he wouldn't talk to me. Point is, I always felt like I had to compromise the way I feel just to be able to have that person to talk to, but in the end I realize this just made me feel worse because I wasn't being me and I shouldn't have to apologize for that or change the way I feel about things because of the fear of being alone. It's been just over a month now and I hate not having that 'companionship' (even if it was online), but life goes on and yours should too! Don't compromise yourself or settle for the sake of love. You'll find someone who won't treat you like trash and appreciates you for you. I know this sounds cliche, but we have to believe that.

jenjen · 06-17-2011, 05:08 PM

I think I'm in the minority, but 99% of the time I LOVE being single. I'll turn 40 this summer and can't imagine having to "answer" to someone--I'm very independent. Never been married and no kids.

There are times it gets loney, but I've seen my share of married friends that were just as lonely and had a spouse. There are times when it would be nice to come home to someone after a bad day, but that's when I pick up the phone and call a great friend or family member.

I have friends, both single & married that I do things with, but there are a lot of times I decide to do things that I want to do alone---movies, dinner, plays, musicals, comedy clubs, farmers markets, etc.

Honestly, I embrace single life. I don't have to worry about what time I come home from a night out, or having to cook dinner for someone else.

I spoil my neices & nephews so I'll have someone to take care of me when I'm old, so if I don't find the "one", I'll survive.

Enjoy your life. Get out and do things you like to do.

BowandArcher · 06-17-2011, 05:16 PM

eh who needs a relationship! It takes effort and patience and you have to have sex when you dont feel like it, not to mention the drama in most relationships. Maybe you should take a look at why you dont feel right being alone. I'm in a relationship right now but I'm great single too. The only reason we started dating was because I found a guy who would love me even if i were 400 lbs. because he loves ME not my body. Dont worry, be patient and a nice guy just like you will love you like no other. All my exes were HELLA skinny and they gave me **** for my weight all the time. it's not worth it and you know it :/

NEVER SETTLE FOR MEDIOCRITY OR COMPLACENCY! YOU ARE ALL THAT IS VAGINA!

Lovely · 06-17-2011, 05:19 PM

Really? I dunno... I actually don't feel like that.

I don't want the people who don't want the fat girl is the way it is to me!

We're all allowed to be as shallow as we'd like, but I get to choose whether or not that person is allowed in my life.

I hear people say that being single sucks, but being in an abusive relationship is worse.

I play MMORPGs (online gaming). You would not BELIEVE the number of times I hear a guy say "Girls don't like me". I want to take all the guys that say that, and put them in a room with all the women who say that. ...I'd honestly love to see what would happen!

VirgoChic - That guy that stopped talking to you over a petty disagreement sounds lame. I have had NUMEROUS friendships that went south, because of me being me. It's saddening for a moment, but it reinforces the fact that they were fairweather friends and no one wants any person like that around. You'll find better friends and more-than-friends. Ones who can appreciate a difference of opinion without taking it personally.

caryesings · 06-17-2011, 05:39 PM

Ok, I'm 51 years old and had not been in a relationship the 20 years I was fat. I started dating again at age 50 and have now been with the current beau almost 8 months. That 8 month mark is significant in a big way, because I have never had an adult relationship make it past the 8 month mark,even though engaged 3 times. Sometimes I've been dumped, sometimes I've been the one walking away but basically I just didn't handle relationships when they got "real". As much as I love the man I am with now, nearly every day I pine for my single status.

I do absolutely acknowledge what you are saying about the single status however. As much as I preferred that way of life, it really does feel like society is arranged around the idea of being a couple.

Ferumbras · 06-17-2011, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BowandArcher

you have to have sex when you dont feel like it,

Umm... I just have to say, you should NEVER have to have sex when you don't feel like it. You should always be able to tell your partner no and have them listen to you and respect you. If they don't, think real hard about that relationship. Granted, there are times when I'm not entirely in the mood but will still have sex, but that's my choice and every time I've said no, my partner has listened and respected that decision 100% -- and he knows it goes both ways (****, he says no more often than I do). My point is, sex should be fun and it should be safe and it should be something you want. You should never feel obligated or, worse, forced.

BuggyBear81 · 06-17-2011, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ferumbras

My point is, sex should be fun and it should be safe and it should be something you want. You should never feel obligated or, worse, forced.

Exactly! Thank you! I was just about to reply to that. Sex should never be just because the other person wants it. You should be able to share it, not feel obligated.

bargoo · 06-17-2011, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BowandArcher

you have to have sex when you dont feel like it, :/

Sex when you don't feel like it ? Isn't that rape ?

cherrypie · 06-17-2011, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lovely

Really? I dunno... I actually don't feel like that.

I don't want the people who don't want the fat girl is the way it is to me!

We're all allowed to be as shallow as we'd like, but I get to choose whether or not that person is allowed in my life.

I hear people say that being single sucks, but being in an abusive relationship is worse.

I play MMORPGs (online gaming). You would not BELIEVE the number of times I hear a guy say "Girls don't like me". I want to take all the guys that say that, and put them in a room with all the women who say that. ...I'd honestly love to see what would happen!

VirgoChic - That guy that stopped talking to you over a petty disagreement sounds lame. I have had NUMEROUS friendships that went south, because of me being me. It's saddening for a moment, but it reinforces the fact that they were fairweather friends and no one wants any person like that around. You'll find better friends and more-than-friends. Ones who can appreciate a difference of opinion without taking it personally.

there you go. online gaming is the key

but seriously, go have some fun doing what is fun to you you'll meet more people because you are happy and meet guys who you have something in common with. I really think you have to be good by yourself before you are good in a couple.

ryeb · 06-17-2011, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bargoo

Sex when you don't feel like it ? Isn't that rape ?

I took the initial comment as a joke. There are times where I would be more than happy to just go to sleep, but I will still "give it up" to make him happy. IDK though, maybe she wasn't joking?

Sometimes I do use the good ol fall back cop out "I have a head ache" lol

As for the other ladies, women on here have made some awesome points.

ryeb · 06-17-2011, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BuggyBear81

Exactly! Thank you! I was just about to reply to that. Sex should never be just because the other person wants it. You should be able to share it, not feel obligated.

You mean to tell me, every single time, you want it so bad that you just couldn't pass up the chance? I mean, I still enjoy it, but there are times I have other things on my mind than just sex.

Ferumbras · 06-17-2011, 06:30 PM

ryeb: Why not just say "not tonight"? Why should an excuse be necessary?