thank you all for your support. I have been yoyoing back and forth. I was saved at my job. That was wonderful. Then Loss my job(No fault of mine). I found a church thought it had what i'm looking for.Met a lovely lady she would get me into a bible class and some one on one counseling for my depression and never heard from them again and its been several weeks. Good news is i haven't eaten myself to death although I have thought about it. On the up side I now have a job interview at 1pm on monday. so I guess i'm going in the right direction. Seems to me life is always so complicated. I always feel like I'm swimming against the current.the older I get the more easily I tire. thank you again for letting me vent. I'll try to stay focus and most more regularly. god bless