Frustrated - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

myhaloisintheshop · 03-23-2011, 04:40 PM

I have a family friend who has lost over 100 lbs this past year. I live around 100 miles from my family and friends. When she found out I was losing weight she called and told me she had all kinds of new clothes that I was free to have because she knows how hard it was to buy clothes and not stay in them long.

Anyway. My mom lives near her and told this friend that I will never get down into those clothes. I won't lose the weight and its silly of her to save them for me.

This is my own mother! I haven't told my mom anything about my weight loss because she IS so unsupportive. She is also a big woman--she has been on every diet I can imagine and always loses 50 lbs and then gains it all back.

Im not losing weight for vain reasons---its for my health. I just can't imagine being so negative about my children

TooManyDimples · 03-23-2011, 04:51 PM

Just remember that the best thing you can do to get even with people who think that way about you is to prove them wrong. I completely understand that it has to be hard coming from family, especially your own mom. You can't let negative attitudes get to you. Stay on track, and show her that you CAN lose the weight. And show it off in the clothes you get from your friend that you WILL fit into. =) You've done great so far! 36lbs down is something to be proud of. Don't let it get you down, make it fuel and motivate you even more.

myhaloisintheshop · 03-23-2011, 04:56 PM

believe me--It has fired me up...lol

She can sit her her little world of bitterness but she will not pull me down with her.

desiresdestiny · 03-23-2011, 05:04 PM

Remember you are doing it for yourself....It's hard when family can't act like family...
Keep on going!!!

beerab · 03-23-2011, 05:05 PM

Wow that sucks- but I'd just let it go in one ear and out the other- sounds like her bitterness is more about herself than you.

In one ear and out the other- you can do it!

DixC Chix · 03-23-2011, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beerab

Wow that sucks- but I'd just let it go in one ear and out the other- sounds like her bitterness is more about herself than you.

In one ear and out the other- you can do it!

Totally agree - she is talking about herself but covering it by aiming it at you. It is probably subconcious on her part but keep this in mind (and smile)when she gives her opinion on other people. The fault she finds is usually in her.

fatferretfanatic · 03-23-2011, 06:11 PM

Don't listen to your mom. She's probably coming from a place of jealousy and hurt, and though she is your mother and you love her, you can't always trust what she'll say in that regard. Who knows? Maybe when she sees you can do it, she'll want to catch up.

lottie63 · 03-23-2011, 06:18 PM

So negative, don't even think twice about it, just stay focused. Living well is the best revenge.

Gale02 · 03-23-2011, 06:33 PM

What does she mean you won't do it!? You've lost 36lbs, you are doing it!

Keep up the good work, you're doing great!

lottie63 · 03-23-2011, 06:37 PM

Galeo, that is one of my fave quotes you have on your sig. I found it and saved it on my comp a few months ago. LOVE IT.

Gale02 · 03-23-2011, 06:42 PM

Lottie, I really love it too! In fact, it's very pertinent to the subject at hand, here's the rest of it:

Excerpt from the speech "Citizenship In A Republic", delivered by Theodore Roosevelt at the Sorbonne, in Paris, France on 23 April, 1910

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

Nikki6kidsmom · 03-23-2011, 11:28 PM

I can relate! My Mother had me on diets my whole life growing up and I grew up with the feeling being myself was not good enough for her. I was **** bent on loving myself and having a great life without feeling like my weight would hold me back. So my weight was a form of rebellion all this time all the way into my 30's.

Then I decided to change for my health and fuure. I kept it a secret from my Mom until it I was really on a roll losing and it was obvious. I didn't need any of her negative attitude or comments to get me down. I love my Mom but I am a grown woman and Mother myself. She is proud of my success but has had moments of telling me now that I am obsessed with diet,exercise and weight loss. I think it stems from jealousy. I reassure her it is at least healthy obsession!

Stay true to your goals. Take care of yourself and believe in yourself! You can do this! HUGS

myhaloisintheshop · 03-24-2011, 10:53 AM

Thanks everyone! My mom and i have always had a somewhat rocky relationship--I wasn't her idea of a "perfect" daughter. My sister filled that role..lol I wasn't super prissy and giggly.

Nothing wrong with that but its not me. My sister got stylish clothes and I got whatever my mom could find.

Ive been a bigger girl my whole life...not obese like my mom made me feel when I was a teen. But once I had my 2nd child and was put on meds--my weight went out of control.
This past year I have done a lot of growing as a person. Ive started standing up to her bully ways and I think she doesn't like it. Im tired of being told I can't do something or Im suppose to be someone Im not. Just because she fails at losing weight doesn't mean I will. Im not. Im doing this and loving it!

This morning was the first time ever I saw a difference in myself in mirror. I put on a skirt I haven't worn in a while. It use to be snug but now its loose! I bought a new shirt yesterday in a smaller size and it fits perfectly.

That's enough motivation to keep on going!

MiZTaCCen · 03-24-2011, 12:16 PM

People are always negative when it comes to someone doing something to better themselves. All you can do is nod your head smile and don't let them bring you down. Allow it to fire you up and use that negativity for yourself to better yourself and in the end prove them wrong for being asshats. =)

GirlyGirlSebas · 03-24-2011, 01:19 PM

That really stinks that your Mom would say something like that about anybody! That you are her own flesh and blood is just unbelievable to me as a Mom. Yes, use this as impetuous to keep going, however, don't concentrate too much on proving something to her. You may be setting yourself up for disappointment if you build this whole fantasy of her seeing you after you've lost a lot of weight and blowing her away. She seems like one of those type of people who wouldn't give you a compliment or let you know she's proud of you for what you've accomplished. Of course, I may be wrong. But, I'd hate for you to be disappointed and risk losing your momentum. Ultimately, we all have to do this for ourselves.