Oh man, ulcers are no fun. I once took an antibiotic for my skin that apparently gave me really awful heartburn, but as I was nineteen and stupid I didn't know it was hearburn -- I thought the pills were getting 'stuck' in my esophagus -- and developed a nascent ulcer. So I had to give up coffee, alcohol, fried foods, salty foods, spicy foods -- pretty much everything sinful and delicious in life.
I love your sense of humor about it all. Reading your post I just had to laugh -- yeah, that experience was terrible, but I was so healthy! And I was probably in less pain overall what with all the hangovers and insomnia headaches I wasn't having. There's always a silver lining, right? Congrats on the extra 5 lbs!