[ebb&flow]

So, I'm excited about my progress. I have been working at this for a while and have gotten to that sweet spot where I can work in a party and still remain on plan for that week. I also don't have that urge to keep eating the higher calorie stuff after the party and for days after. It doesn't derail me. I feel the pull to get back on my healthy eating with my next meal. It's a great place to be because I'm not always fighting off cravings and the call of whatever fast food or junk at the store. I can see results in the mirror and am intrigued to see what will happen to my body with the next ten pounds.

so, you say, what could possibly be the problem? Well, I have this horrible habit of comparing myself to other people. I have a friend who I admire (she eats healthy and works out, great example) and I have kind of made her my goal. We are the same height and have the same body shape (pear). I guess I was thrown when we were having a conversation about fitness goals and she was describing her goals and where she's come from. Her starting size (12) is my current goal size (almost). She said she was way too heavy and thought she was chubby. Ack! What? She doesn't look too skinny. She looks nice and healthy and fit. She's a size 4, though, and I was aiming for a 10 or a 12 as an intermediate goal.

It just reminds of how I look in the mirror and I think I look good and then I see pictures of that day or night and I wonder "How did I not see how heavy I look?" Why do I see something different in the mirror versus the camera? Why have I lost over thirty pounds and suddenly the changes I've been seeing in the mirror seem like minor changes? Why am I letting this conversation we had cause a calorie creep in my diet?

I need to shake off this head game I have going on; I've got goals to reach. But on the other hand I feel like I let my excitement dim a little and I don't know why.

[niafabo]

Snap out of it! Everybody is different you've made amazing progress so far. Don't even think about it. For all you know when you're a size 10 you might look how she did at a size 6 or 8. Just keep going and if you aren't were you want to be when you reach goal you can always lower it.

[ncuneo]

I feel this way every time I visit the featherweights and see girls upset because they are my current size. We are all different and as we all know, one size does not fit all. Just hang in there and in addition to all the work you are doing to lose weight, try to spend some time really feeling comfortable in your own skin and accepting your own body.

[krampus]

*hug* It's MUCH easier said than done, but really not much good comes out of comparing yourself to other people because there is ALWAYS going to be someone more X than you somewhere in the world.

Remember re: your friend that being "fat" is a negative mindset and often has nothing to do with being overweight. Cherish and hold onto the times you feel great about yourself. You are earning it!

[Kahokkuri]

First of all, congrats on getting as far as you have!

You seem like you're in a good place, and you've acknowledged that your current way of thinking isn't productive. That's a great start! Just remember that you set your goals for a reason; although they may evolve some as you do, you still had concrete reasons--BMI, measurements, other references--to choose your goal(s). Even if you and your friend are the same height and same basic shape, people still carry their weight differently. And you know that. Just keep reminding yourself that your goals are yours and no one else's fitness, diet or shape can take them away from you.

[ebb&flow]

Thanks ladies. I've been listening to myself today (all that noise I have going on in my head). I've come to realize that my response to that conversation is very much a fear response and also an excuse to remain overweight. The fears beneath have been something that I know are there but haven't done a great job at addressing. I agree that it is time to work on some of the psychological parts of this weight loss process too or else I'm: 1. not going to success in losing the weight. I'll end up sabotaging myself 2. will gain it back quickly. or 3. will reach my goal and still be all self conscious and screwy about weight.

[Emme]

You are doing a great job ~ it is really hard not to compare sometimes ~ there are people I know who I compare myself to, and it just ends up getting me down. I have had to realize that I am my own person, and that I will never be like them...and that's ok! You never know...maybe you are someone's "goal"!

[ebb&flow]

Originally Posted by Emme

You never know...maybe you are someone's "goal"!

Funny you say that. I have a friend who likes my arms and shoulders when I'm in shape.
I will try to keep that conversation in mind.