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02-01-2011, 12:04 PM
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#1
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getting back to 140
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,158
S/C/G: 155/154.2/140
Height: 5'7"
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How to respond to spouse when he says something negative about appearance
Hi all,
So every once in awhile, my hubby will say something bad about my *ahem* aging face like: this lighting is bad for you, you're starting to get your granny's lower jaw, blah,blah, wrinkles, blah, blah, sagging skin, etc.
I just want to tell him to stfu , but I should handle it better than that, right?
Anyone have a more diplomatic way to respond?
Thanks
Last edited by ddc; 02-01-2011 at 12:05 PM.
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02-01-2011, 12:06 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 2,440
S/C/G: 195/180.2/165
Height: 5'9"
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"When you say things like that, it hurts my feelings. A lot."
Repeat as needed.
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02-01-2011, 12:14 PM
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#3
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Soul Cyster
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: California
Posts: 4,487
S/C/G: 235/seeticker/135
Height: 5'3"
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"Maybe you need a new prescription for your glasses grandpa."
THOUGH IMO STFU is perfectly appropriate.
Seriously though I'd just tell him why he feels the need to talk to you that way. He's not a teenager anymore EITHER.
Last edited by beerab; 02-01-2011 at 12:15 PM.
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02-01-2011, 12:14 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 133
S/C/G: 200/200/130
Height: 5'7"
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Is he trying to be funny, making off-handed remarks, etc? Is he normally dense about social interactions (like it's inappropriate to make certain comments)? Or is he trying to be mean/a jerk? How he's saying it changes my answer.
If he's normally socially dense go with the above "that hurts my feelings." If he's joking, I personally am an eye for an eye type of girl, and would make a "joke" about something he is particularly sensitive about. Then ask how he likes it? If he's doing it in a hurtful manner...there are bigger issues to deal with.
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02-01-2011, 12:41 PM
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#5
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Lifes a Journey
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,707
S/C/G: 195/Ticker/170
Height: 5'5
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A punch in the face would be appropriate to me...lol
Two ways, go about it saying he hurt your feelings and he needs to STFU, or make a rude remake back about his looks and see how much he likes it.
I don't think you need to handle it better, I think you need to be just as blunt and rude as he is to you to get the hint...but that's just me.
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02-01-2011, 12:48 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 291
S/C/G: 163/142/130
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Maybe tell him that you are both aging at the same speed and you still love him with the huge bags under his eyes LOL. On a serious note just tell him that he is hurting your feeling and that aging is a natural process that we all go throught. Then tell him to stuff it
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02-01-2011, 03:43 PM
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#7
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Wreck'n'Rule
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Nearly London :)
Posts: 175
S/C/G: 168/138/133
Height: 5'5
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Just turn round and throw an insult back at him. If he can't take what he deals, then he's a bully and a coward.
Tell him he's getting man boobs or something if he insults you. Men don't like it when you insult their appearance. Insecure much, boys?
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02-01-2011, 03:54 PM
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#8
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Jeri
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Otay, Tijuana, Mexico, BCN
Posts: 1,166
S/C/G: 286/142.6/150/new goal 140
Height: 5-4
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"Wow. I can't believe you said something that rude. I'm embarrassed for you."
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02-01-2011, 04:03 PM
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#9
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Reluctant Adult
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: OR
Posts: 343
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eclipse... That's perfect. Lub it!!!
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02-01-2011, 04:04 PM
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#10
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Back in Action
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: A Nebraska Farm
Posts: 3,107
S/C/G: 213/197/140
Height: 5'6"
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Thankfully my husband doesn't do this, but if he did I would say something like, "Really?, that's odd...John at the grocery store, (or any other fictitious man) was just telling me how nice/young/hot I looked today."
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02-01-2011, 04:22 PM
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#11
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Changing behaviours
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 880
Height: 5'7"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lori Bell
Thankfully my husband doesn't do this, but if he did I would say something like, "Really?, that's odd...John at the grocery store, (or any other fictitious man) was just telling me how nice/young/hot I looked today."
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This ^^ appeals to me
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02-01-2011, 04:43 PM
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#12
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PCOS/IR/Hypothyroid
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,855
Height: 5'8"
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I don't know him. So I would repeat what I heard and verify.
"I just heard you call me old and ugly. Is that really what you meant to say?"
If that's what he meant to say, then you can go right ahead with STFU!
If he's trying to say "You are so cute! All the women in your family are cute! Even up to your granny!" then teach him to say it the way you want to hear it. Not in this bungled fashion.
A.
Last edited by astrophe; 02-01-2011 at 04:46 PM.
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02-01-2011, 06:30 PM
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#13
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happy in her own world
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: oregon
Posts: 1,348
S/C/G: 260/260/130
Height: 5'2"
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"gee, it's nice to hear you still find me attractive, dear. how's that hemmroid? remember when you used to be able to go all night? those were the good old days."
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02-01-2011, 07:15 PM
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#14
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Bella Signora ♥
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,657
Height: 5'4.5''
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lori Bell
Thankfully my husband doesn't do this, but if he did I would say something like, "Really?, that's odd...John at the grocery store, (or any other fictitious man) was just telling me how nice/young/hot I looked today."
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I like this response too.
He's your husband, not your enemy. Tell
him how his comments make you feel.
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02-01-2011, 07:28 PM
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#15
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 5,629
S/C/G: HW/232 SW 215/ CW 133/GW 120's
Height: 5.7 and 1/2
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oohh..let me tell you, making sure other guys *notice* you is an absolutely EXCELLENT plan of action..I wouldn't tell him about other guys..I would just make sure he sees other guys having a look your way time to time...and be sure to be oblivious to the attention! With your stats it really shouldn't be hard!
Last edited by Thighs Be Gone; 02-01-2011 at 07:29 PM.
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